Negative Emotions

[The Gawd]

I echo what viocjit said...

I just dont care what other people do unless it has an actual quantifiable effect on my or other people's lives. Its so very rare that people bother me enough to dislike them. Sure some people annoy me when they do certain things, but once I dropped Christianity it allowed me to simply accept people as they were. Its simply how they are, just like people have to accept me as I am unless I am negatively affecting them.

Once I stopped worrying about what other people were doing, life got so much more better. Its so much easier to love than to hate. It takes so much energy to hate. Try this next time you come across one of those people at work that cause you so much angst; say in your mind that you accept them the same way they accept you, and feel the tremendous weight off your shoulders.

Its liberating to not have to hate. Like when I dropped Christianity and didnt have to hate or think negatively about gays anymore (since gays and non-believers are the people we were supposed to hate) I just felt instantly better and gained some friends... ah its great!

[Lectus]

Meditation.

Despite its association with Buddhism, it has real medical value and health benefits.

[Jag]

Can you elaborate a bit please on what beliefs you use to help you cope?

Certainly.  Nondualism, it's changed my life.   <snip for brevity>

This sounds more or less like Buddhism.  Frankly, in the absence of a deity, Buddhism (in broad strokes and ignoring the reincarnation stuff) makes a great deal of sense to me.

So do you see nondualism as a religious practice or a lifestyle/philosophy? It sounds like you already have the answer you are looking for in your OP, so I'm not clear on what we're discussing?

[nebula]

This sounds more or less like Buddhism.  Frankly, in the absence of a deity, Buddhism (in broad strokes and ignoring the reincarnation stuff) makes a great deal of sense to me.

So do you see nondualism as a religious practice or a lifestyle/philosophy? It sounds like you already have the answer you are looking for in your OP, so I'm not clear on what we're discussing?

There are elements of non-dualism in sects of a lot of religions.   The kind I believe in has no self, no free will and no reincarnation.   There is nothing to survive bodily death because there is nothing in life, except for the whole, which can be called God but the whole is more descriptive.   Also, the word holy comes from the word whole, so it fits.

I see it as a religious belief, or maybe as a religious non-belief.   You actually develop the belief in the self when you are a baby.   For a certain period of time you are not aware of individuality.   It is only after you sense the apparent personhood of your mother that you begin to believe you are are a separate entity from everything else

What I was looking for in the OP was to learn about people's methods for dealing with turmoil, which I have.    What's this about an answer?   

[mrbiscoop]

   If I didn't have negative emotions I wouldn't have any at all.

[bertatberts]

the word holy comes from the word whole, so it fits.

No sorry you have that back to front. The word holy comes from the old English word "halig" (accent over the a), meaning "sacred, pious".  hence "Holy".
"Whole" is simply a word derived from "Holy" So it was made to fit.

Religion never tries to find the real answer, it just puts an answer in to fit its bias.

Addendum: Religion just gives magical assertions that are unprovable, therefore useless.



<<some Mod amendments for bert>>

[nebula]

the word holy comes from the word whole, so it fits.

No sorry you have that back to front. The word holy comes from the old English word "halig" (accent over the a), meaning "sacred, pious".  hence "Holy".
"Whole" is simply a word derived from "Holy" So it was made to fit.

Religion never tries to find the real answer, it just puts an answer in to fit its bias.

Addendum: Religion just gives magical assertions that are unprovable, therefore useless.

<<some Mod amendments for bert>>

The two words are very closely related.   Let's put it that way.   http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/holy.
 
Origin:
before 900; Middle English holi, Old English h?lig,  variant of h?leg,  equivalent to h?l whole + -eg -y1 ; cognate with Dutch, German heilig, Old Norse heilagr

[bertatberts]

The two words are very closely related.

Yes they are
But you were wrong by saying that holy came from whole. It didn't.
That was the point I was making.

So back to the point of the thread.
Have you noticed that the non-believers here have no trouble in turning the other cheek, ignoring bad people, and being tolerant.
Surely now you can see that without the indoctrination of religion, you become a more relaxed individual.

[nebula]

The two words are very closely related.

Of course,.The term "whole" came from "holy"

OK but the point is that in nondualism, "the whole" is a good word to use for "what is," rather than God, since it's more descriptive and is related to an adjective for the divine anyway.   Thanks for the correction.   

[bertatberts]

The two words are very closely related.

Of course,.The term "whole" came from "holy"

OK but the point is that in nondualism, "the whole" is a good word to use for "what is," rather than God, since it's more descriptive and is related to an adjective for the divine anyway.   Thanks for the correction.   

I'm sorry I don't know where that post came from, I never posted it. See the one above, I was writing. Perhaps I pressed a button whilst doing it. that triggered it.

[nebula]

So back to the point of the thread.
Have you noticed that the non-believers here have no trouble in turning the other cheek, ignoring bad people, and being tolerant.
Surely now you can see that without the indoctrination of religion, you become a more relaxed individual.

I was indoctrinated in Christianity in my early life.   Judging by what people have said about the duration of their bouts of anger, I have severe anger issues, and other emotional issues.   I have been angry for a week or longer, until it feels like there is poison in my veins and my stomach hurts.   And it is not just "some inconsiderate coworker" that makes me angry.   I was only using that as a random example.   Everyone makes me angry at some point.   

It's not that I'm indoctrinating myself in religion right now, I'm just not believing that I am anything separate from "being" or the whole or that I have the ability to make choices, and I consider this "religious."   This gets my anger and other issues, like regret, under control better than my previous beliefs or systems of thought which have included atheism, metaphysical materialism etc.

[neopagan]

Ever tried a physical outlet like running, swimming or pounding on a punching bag for an hour?  It could be a healthy way to get out some of those angry emotions - as well as giving you some time to think about what the source of such anger may be?

Are you saying someone can make you quite angry for a full week?  Does that mean you prefer to go away and seethe with anger as opposed to dealing directly with that person to try to either reslove the conflict or find a less "disruptive" way to deal with it?  Not trying to put words in your mouth, just wondering

[nebula]

Ever tried a physical outlet like running, swimming or pounding on a punching bag for an hour?  It could be a healthy way to get out some of those angry emotions - as well as giving you some time to think about what the source of such anger may be?

Are you saying someone can make you quite angry for a full week?  Does that mean you prefer to go away and seethe with anger as opposed to dealing directly with that person to try to either reslove the conflict or find a less "disruptive" way to deal with it?  Not trying to put words in your mouth, just wondering

I do use dumbbells sometimes to control my anger.   Yeah, for the most part I'm passive aggressive.   I prefer not to show my anger but secretly brood about something I don't like.     

[Betelnut]

My religious beliefs bring me peace and help me to get through life.   I'm interested in learning about atheist mental techniques for dealing with life's dilemmas.  What do you do when you experience unwanted emotions such as anger, fear, regret, embarrassment etc.?   

I know that anti-depressant medication and/or psychotherapy are always an option but I have never felt I needed them because I have other ways of dealing with these emotions that involve spirituality.   So I was wondering about the atheist equivalent or ways that atheists deal with life, other than by seeking professional help.

Here is an example:   You are forced to work with someone who you find unreasonable, inconsiderate and stupid.   How do you keep yourself from being consumed by anger?

In the example you give, I try to remember that my job is important to my organization and, generally speaking, I do it pretty well.  I also laugh, a lot, at the one asshole who fits well into your description of "unreasonable, inconsiderate and stupid."  Also, I remember--no one will die if things don't go exactly right (I work in a public library--believe me, despite what many people think, they will not die if their copy of Iron Man 3 is not available for pickup tomorrow.)

I had cancer last year (cured by medical science).  I never thought, "Why me" or "Help me god."  Just, let me get through these treatments.

Music, laughter, art, my daughter.  Sometimes just taking a clipper and cutting back the bushes at the front of my house.  Sometimes crying.  Those are the things that help me get through life.  Also a bit of perspective which comes as I age.