Author Topic: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?  (Read 3404 times)

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Offline neopagan

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #58 on: June 12, 2013, 11:02:52 AM »
Fernweh-
beer for this fundie crowd?  no way, but coffee and danishes are blessed by the lawd

welcome fellow okie.  so, you don't have a set of steel bull testicles swinging from the bumper of your truck?


If xian hell really exists, the stench of the burning billions of us should be a constant, putrid reminder to the handful of heavenward xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline Fernweh

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #59 on: June 12, 2013, 11:11:50 AM »
Fernweh-
beer for this fundie crowd?  no way, but coffee and danishes are blessed by the lawd

welcome fellow okie.  so, you don't have a set of steel bull testicles swinging from the bumper of your truck?

No trucknutz. Would you believe I don't even own a truck? I'm from here but I'm still in culture shock. Lets just say I'm in the minority opinion with just about everything Oklahoma.

Offline nogodsforme

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #60 on: June 12, 2013, 12:22:55 PM »
Quesi,

Those are just run of the mill sinners in a prosperous country with access to radio, tv, internet and Starbucks.

Brussels is a third world country; the natives are chucking spears at missionaries and beheading them at every turn, clean water is impossible to find, and you have folks like Fiji running around talking in French about sex parts of plants - they are an unreached people group, for chrissakes!!  Right?  :o :o

I suppose you are right.  Exotic Belgian sinners will ultimately be much more challenging, and much more rewarding to serve. 

I mean, I can say with all honesty that I have NEVER heard floral genitalia discussed on the streets of my neighborhood.  But if you don't hit Belgium now, EVERYONE will be talking about it in a few years.

Gay latinos shaking their gorgeous bootays to hot Afro-Carib music. Muslim youth dancing to Korean pop in front of the Kebab King. Three cheers for the red, white and blue! Ye gods I love America. ;D
Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.

Offline nogodsforme

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #61 on: June 12, 2013, 12:27:23 PM »
Can you whip up the peasants to break out their pitchforks and torches?

That ... might be a bit of an issue. While Brussels does have a ministry of agriculture, (staff: two, luckily not full time), they administer a grand total of ... one farmer. And this one fellow only lives in Brussels, his fields are half a mile away, in Flanders.

In Flanders fields. I see what you did there. I think.

BTW I was in Brussels in the 1980's and I loved it, even though nobody had ever heard of iced tea and they kept putting mayo on the fries. Strange barbaric people. Even more full of evil pagan chocolate croissant eating Muslim sinners these days, I'm sure.
Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.

Offline neopagan

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #62 on: June 12, 2013, 12:29:22 PM »

No trucknutz. Would you believe I don't even own a truck? I'm from here but I'm still in culture shock. Lets just say I'm in the minority opinion with just about everything Oklahoma.
I'm not a native and not from Texas either, so I am considered even lower than a minority. Still trying to figure this place out.
If xian hell really exists, the stench of the burning billions of us should be a constant, putrid reminder to the handful of heavenward xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline Fernweh

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #63 on: June 12, 2013, 01:46:12 PM »

No trucknutz. Would you believe I don't even own a truck? I'm from here but I'm still in culture shock. Lets just say I'm in the minority opinion with just about everything Oklahoma.
I'm not a native and not from Texas either, so I am considered even lower than a minority. Still trying to figure this place out.

Oklahoma is a good example of religious conservatism and chicken fried steak taken all the way to their logical conclusion.

Offline neopagan

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #64 on: June 12, 2013, 01:56:10 PM »
Oklahoma is a good example of religious conservatism and chicken fried steak taken all the way to their logical conclusion.

Logical conclusions:
     One of top states for - obesity, high blood pressure, divorce, heart attacks, deaths from child abuse, no interest in breastfeeding, churches that send missionaries to Brussels.

If xian hell really exists, the stench of the burning billions of us should be a constant, putrid reminder to the handful of heavenward xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline neopagan

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #65 on: June 12, 2013, 08:10:54 PM »
Had a little outlet tonight...

Went to the church for the kids' VBS "family night" where they had a huge throwdown with food games, music, etc.

There was a dunk tank raising $$ for missions!  For any donation, you could sink the missions pastor...

.... 10 cents well spent, I say, since I dropped him in the holy water on the first pitch.  Praise Baal!!
If xian hell really exists, the stench of the burning billions of us should be a constant, putrid reminder to the handful of heavenward xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline Fiji

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #66 on: June 13, 2013, 12:38:19 AM »
I'm sure your missionaries are suffering greatly in Belgium with the great cycling and Trappist beer.

Ah, but the Trappist order is Catholic ... and thus unsaved. Is it ok to drink unsaved beer?[1]
 1. luckily, Atheists can drink any and all[1] beer they damn well want
 1. well, ok, maybe not ALL the beer
Science: I'll believe it when I see it
Faith: I'll see it when I believe it

Schrodinger's thunderdome! One cat enters and one MIGHT leave!

Without life, god has no meaning.

Offline Fiji

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #67 on: June 13, 2013, 12:52:56 AM »
That ... might be a bit of an issue. While Brussels does have a ministry of agriculture, (staff: two, luckily not full time), they administer a grand total of ... one farmer. And this one fellow only lives in Brussels, his fields are half a mile away, in Flanders.

In Flanders fields. I see what you did there. I think.

Yeah ... wasn't sure to leave that one in actually ... since the real 'Flanders' fields' are a province and a half further to the west ... felt like I was cheating on geography (even IF she's a fickle mistress)

BTW I was in Brussels in the 1980's and I loved it, even though nobody had ever heard of iced tea and they kept putting mayo on the fries.

Iced tea was indeed a virtual unknown until Lipton started selling the stuff in the late 80s.
Yes, mayo is the staple on fries. Or rather, was, these days most 'fries shacks' have at least a dozen ... erm ... dressings ... condiments? What's the word?

Strange barbaric people.

Well, that's what Julius Ceasar said. Hey, at least we're consistent!

Even more full of evil pagan chocolate croissant eating Muslim sinners these days, I'm sure.
What was it? 200K muslims in Brussels alone? Some 600K, nation wide?
Islam is one of the official religions these days. Has been since the Turks and Moroccans managed to agree on the color of shite ... well, most of the time anyway.
And there are plenty of shops that sell hallal stuff, including hallal chocolate and pastries ... though, wouldn't ANY sort of chocolate be hallal? Except when it's a praline with bacon filling ... which actually exists ... do we have a puke smiley?
Science: I'll believe it when I see it
Faith: I'll see it when I believe it

Schrodinger's thunderdome! One cat enters and one MIGHT leave!

Without life, god has no meaning.

Offline neopagan

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #68 on: June 13, 2013, 08:21:20 AM »
What was it? 200K muslims in Brussels alone? Some 600K, nation wide?
Islam is one of the official religions these days. Has been since the Turks and Moroccans managed to agree on the color of shite ... well, most of the time anyway.

According to the wise folks in the missionary position at the church, there are 300-400k muslims in Brussels.  I guess they must be breeding like rats and you cannot keep count of them, what with no electricity in that godforsaken city (or should I have said shiitehole?).  But at least three of them have found jeezus, or professed that so they could have a bag full of rice to take home to their starving kids with distended bellies.  When will fair Brussels pull itself out of the sub third world??
If xian hell really exists, the stench of the burning billions of us should be a constant, putrid reminder to the handful of heavenward xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline Mrjason

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #69 on: June 13, 2013, 08:25:13 AM »
When will fair Brussels pull itself out of the sub third world??

I don't think it will. When I went there I saw a naked child[1] pissing in the street and people just walked by as if nothing were happening, some even laughed and took photos!
 1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manneken_Pis

Offline nogodsforme

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #70 on: June 13, 2013, 10:54:19 AM »
When will fair Brussels pull itself out of the sub third world??

I don't think it will. When I went there I saw a naked child[1] pissing in the street and people just walked by as if nothing were happening, some even laughed and took photos!
 1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manneken_Pis

I saw the Pissing Boy when I was there, and wondered WTF? I was fresh from the 'hood and could not figure it out. I have lived all over the world since then, and I still can't figure it out.

Then I went on to try to teach the young woman at the restaurant how to make iced tea--she took a water glass and put a tea bag in it and then some ice, and then poured hot water in. Non, non, non! Regardez!
Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.

Offline Fiji

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #71 on: June 19, 2013, 05:14:26 AM »
Apparently, our dear friends from Henderson hills are still going strong...ish.

There are daily prayer requests:
http://www.hhbc.com/brussels-daily-prayer

Elsewhere on the site they tell their sheeple to either give money or pray a lot. So, the ones that can't give much go to this page and see the requests.
Neat-o, I'll pray for that food bank thingy!
Later through some channel or other, they learn that the food bank thingy went ahead as planned. Braise sweet baby Jesus! My prayer worked!
Except that ... all the things they ask to be prayed for are extremely likely to happen anyway.
Hmmmm ... don't look behind the curtain, people.
This tells me that at least one of the people involved in the Brussels mission is knowingly engaging in doublethink.

BTW, look at the bottommost request ... they came to MY train station!!! On a saturday, though ... still ... they're closing in on me!
Better start bringing bottles of unholy water[1] with me to work.
 1. aka "water"
Science: I'll believe it when I see it
Faith: I'll see it when I believe it

Schrodinger's thunderdome! One cat enters and one MIGHT leave!

Without life, god has no meaning.

Offline neopagan

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #72 on: June 19, 2013, 08:10:30 AM »
I am betting if any "immigrants" show up for the food bank, it may be to open a new account... something missed in the translation.

True believers would indeed pray god would supply all the needs at the food bank then promptly sit upon their asses and wait for him to get busy.  Otherwise, it shows they are this "god" of which they babble.


If xian hell really exists, the stench of the burning billions of us should be a constant, putrid reminder to the handful of heavenward xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline Fiji

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #73 on: June 19, 2013, 08:31:36 AM »
Funny thing is "immigrants" in Belgium carries a connotation similar to "nigger" in the US.
I've lost track of the word you're supposed to use to denote these people. For a while it was "New Belgians" but that too is deemed non-PC these days.

The food bank, btw, is the least remarkable 'miracle'. I've looked into the host church a bit and that's a staple activity of theirs. Sooooo, basically, they're asking to pray that the presence of the Henderson hills people ... doesn't mess up the usual functioning of the host church.
Science: I'll believe it when I see it
Faith: I'll see it when I believe it

Schrodinger's thunderdome! One cat enters and one MIGHT leave!

Without life, god has no meaning.

Offline neopagan

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #74 on: June 19, 2013, 08:36:21 AM »
Sooooo, basically, they're asking to pray that the presence of the Henderson hills people ... doesn't mess up the usual functioning of the host church.

That's actually the best prayer request they could ask for, since the henderson crowd is generally going to be made up of affluent, entitlement-minded folks who have never spent any time outside their comfort zone.  You could run them out of the country within 24 hours if they were not allowed to use their iphones and facebook to post how they "fed a cookie to an immigrant - praise jeezus!"
If xian hell really exists, the stench of the burning billions of us should be a constant, putrid reminder to the handful of heavenward xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline Fiji

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #75 on: June 21, 2013, 09:00:32 AM »
The bar events have to clear to be deemed a miracle is rather low ... http://www.facebook.com/notes/henderson-hills-missions/well-begun-is-half-done-wales-update/174683885936380

Quote
The second team arrived Saturday morning on time, bolted past immigration at a gallop, and casually boarded the bus. What a miracle for two teams comprised of twenty people to have no trouble at all getting into Britain. Nothing short of a miracle. Thank you, God!

I don't know, but it seems that at least someone at Henderson Hills is, at the very least, aware that he's engaging in doublethink.
"Better label this 'miracle' or we won't have anything to show for all these hours of prayer"
Science: I'll believe it when I see it
Faith: I'll see it when I believe it

Schrodinger's thunderdome! One cat enters and one MIGHT leave!

Without life, god has no meaning.

Offline Mrjason

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Re: Where should a church send missionaries to minister?
« Reply #76 on: June 21, 2013, 09:33:11 AM »
The bar events have to clear to be deemed a miracle is rather low ... http://www.facebook.com/notes/henderson-hills-missions/well-begun-is-half-done-wales-update/174683885936380

Quote
The second team arrived Saturday morning on time, bolted past immigration at a gallop, and casually boarded the bus. What a miracle for two teams comprised of twenty people to have no trouble at all getting into Britain. Nothing short of a miracle. Thank you, God!

I don't know, but it seems that at least someone at Henderson Hills is, at the very least, aware that he's engaging in doublethink.
"Better label this 'miracle' or we won't have anything to show for all these hours of prayer"

Actually I think he does have a point - http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:drlXUN1CTtMJ:www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/sitecontent/documents/news/ho-os.pdf+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=uk