Author Topic: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.  (Read 3411 times)

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Offline LoriPinkAngel

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My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« on: May 26, 2013, 03:57:49 PM »
This is the only place I dare voice this opinion and why I hang around this forum.  I know the majority of members here will reply that it is because he does not exist.  But it is becoming clearer to me that I really am completely alone.  The people at the church I go to don't know about my hardships; I haven't told them because they see me as the strong competent nurse I used to be.  Everywhere I turn for help has some reason to deny me.  No loving god would allow this to happen.
It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Offline Mooby

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2013, 04:03:50 PM »
Do you think the issue is more with God or with your life's circumstances?
"I'm doing science and I'm still alive."--J.C.

Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2013, 04:14:50 PM »
I think if god were listening he would not allow me to lose everything.
It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Offline Mooby

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #3 on: May 26, 2013, 04:18:08 PM »
What has He let you lose?

And do you think the issue is more God's plans not meeting yours, God not being what you thought, or God not actually existing?  (Or are you not sure?)
"I'm doing science and I'm still alive."--J.C.

Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #4 on: May 26, 2013, 04:36:34 PM »
I have lost my health, my ability to work.  I am about to lose my home.  I will have to give up my son to my ex.  I will have to give up my pets.  I am losing everything I worked my butt off for.  If this is gods plan I don't want to have anything to do with him.  I would prefer to believe there is no god than to think that a god I served would put me through this.
It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Offline Mooby

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #5 on: May 26, 2013, 04:48:56 PM »
It sounds like you certainly have some good reasons to be upset.  Is praying and asking for an explanation on the table, or has that ship sailed?

And do you have any kind of support system?  Friends, coworkers, distant family members, perhaps even a counselor?  That's an awful lot to face alone.
"I'm doing science and I'm still alive."--J.C.

Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #6 on: May 26, 2013, 05:08:11 PM »
It sounds like you certainly have some good reasons to be upset.  Is praying and asking for an explanation on the table, or has that ship sailed?

Prayed and prayed.  Read and read.  Nothing, nada, complete emptiness.
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And do you have any kind of support system?
No
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  Friends,
All moved away from this area.  Never made new ones.
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coworkers,
no job
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distant family members,
parents both dead, brother may or may not be homeless, sister has a full plate taking care of the children of her addict daughter...
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perhaps even a counselor?
Was seeing a psychiatrist for awhile.  Was pretty useless.  Kept prescribing ineffective meds.  Insisted that the depression I have that is resistant to medication could be cured if only I would join a book club.  I finally quit seeing her when she refused to sign off on my FMLA that my job said I had to take last year.
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That's an awful lot to face alone.
It is unbearable.  I try to crack jokes where I can just to survive.
It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Offline Quesi

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #7 on: May 26, 2013, 06:56:06 PM »
Lori, I am so sorry.  I cannot imagine facing so many huge crises and losses at the same time. 

I don't know what state you are in, but I know that there are a number of organizations that are dedicated to helping prevent evictions.  Do you own your home?  Is there any equity you can draw on?  Can you get any resources from your ex?  It sounds like circumstances have changed from the original agreements.  Is he paying child support?  If there was ever a time for alimony, this would seem like the time.   

Honestly, I think you need a good lawyer.  You might be able to save your home, or you might be forced to sell it, and use equity to rent or buy another space.   And you might be able to hold on to custody of your son.  And your pets.  Is there a legal aid office near you?

Also, are you getting all of the public benefits that you are eligible for?  You've worked and paid taxes and FICA and you have the right to draw on the resources that you have put into the system.  And are your medical expenses being covered?

I'm so sorry.  This is clearly a huge, complex, cascading set of circumstances.   

Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #8 on: May 26, 2013, 09:18:05 PM »
Lori, I am so sorry.  I cannot imagine facing so many huge crises and losses at the same time. 

I don't know what state you are in, but I know that there are a number of organizations that are dedicated to helping prevent evictions.  Do you own your home?
The fact that I own this home disqualifies me for any available assistance, however I am about to be forclosed on.
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Is there any equity you can draw on?
Not without income to pay it back.
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Can you get any resources from your ex?  It sounds like circumstances have changed from the original agreements.  Is he paying child support?
All he does is pick up my son from school sometimes and take him for occasional weekends.  He does not pay child support, never has.  He has no verifiable income.  Lives with his mother, rent-free.  He goes to school paid for by the government because he is considered disabled because he went to an alcohol rehab.
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If there was ever a time for alimony, this would seem like the time.
I didn't go after him when I was being paid well, working full time because I would look like a bully, now I don't have the resources. 
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Honestly, I think you need a good lawyer.
I can''t afford a good lawyer.  I don qualify for legal aide until I've lost my home.  I have a contingency based lawyer who is supposedly working on my disabilty claim but they get paid based on the size of the back payment so they are taking their sweet time.  I called and explained I am in jeopardy of losing my home but that hasn't seemed to speed things up.
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You might be able to save your home, or you might be forced to sell it, and use equity to rent or buy another space.
Due to the age of my home, I will not be able to afford rent around here on what disability will pay... my mortgage payment would be manageable if the benefits would start before I lose my home.
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And you might be able to hold on to custody of your son.  And your pets. 
I don't want my son in shelters. No pets in shelters..
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Is there a legal aid office near you?

Also, are you getting all of the public benefits that you are eligible for?
  You've worked and paid taxes and FICA and you have the right to draw on the resources that you have put into the system.
Have to wait until I lose my home to qualify.  I had to send a copy of my bank statement to the electric company and all of my expenses to see if they could lower my payment and not shut off my power again. (They turned off my power in April nine days after I sent them a payment because it wasn't the full amount, the temperature happened to drop below freezing 2 of the nights that I didn't have power, it wasn't pleasant) The response was that because I have money in checking I have to pay the full amount.  I told them that is all the money I have which has to last an indefinite amount of time until a decision is made whether I receive disability.  They don't care.
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And are your medical expenses being covered?
I can go to VA doctors but they are less than helpful.  My primary referred me to a neurologist in the Bronx for the chronic migraines.  This is a 2 hour commute for me.  She chose to prescribe lower doses of the meds that have already proven ineffective and didn't want to give me the one med that has helped me.  She refused to prescribe anything for pain.  She said she would have to refer me to a headache specialist or to pain management.  She got pissy when I asked why she accepted a referral for chronic migraines if she could not treat headaches or pain.

It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Offline jetson

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #9 on: May 26, 2013, 09:51:50 PM »
Lori - you have a lot on your plate.  You can use some help from organizations, family, and friends who will actually do something.  United Way comes to mind.  A single person who lifts a finger to help you out will be far more effective than 10 mega-churches sending out prayers.  God isn't listening, because he's not real.

You can get your life back, as long as you own it, and stop giving it to imaginary deities in the hopes that you are either doing it right, or pleasing it in some way.  Think of ways you can step off the merry-go-round and stop the cycle long enough to catch your breath and make some real decisions on what to do next.

Nothing you own is worth giving up on who you are, and what you want from life.  As far as your child, as far as I am aware, you cannot be denied visitation as long as you are free from things like drugs, and anything a court would perceive as a danger to a child.  Also, there was a time when my boys were taken out of the country because I had nothing in my divorce decree to stop it - and I honestly thought they would forget me altogether - but they didn't!

Stick around - people will listen, and make suggestions - just ask.

Offline Quesi

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #10 on: May 26, 2013, 10:15:10 PM »
Lori, you are in NY?  Listen to me, if you have not been to a Financial Empowerment Center, please dial 311 NOW and get the number of an office by you.  They are a legitimate service, not one of those scam dial 800 no debt now services.  They won't be open until Tuesday, but get an appointment on Tuesday.  PLEASE.  They are run out of the Mayor's office, and all of their services are free. 

Are you sure you don't qualify for Legal Aid if you own a home and are in foreclosure?  I think you might. 

My last suggestion might sound a little off the wall, but I would contact Occupy and tell them your story.  They have done some successful work stopping foreclosures in the 5 boros.  If you are interested in pursuing that route and don't know where to start, I can give you some leads that will give you a few false starts (they are fluid and decentralized) but with some effort, I think that you could become one of their projects.  A vet, and someone who worked all of her life, became disabled and unable to work, and is now in foreclosure and about to lose her son and her pets is just the sort of project that they take on.  And the general public has really lost patience with people going into foreclosure due to health problems. It also wouldn't hurt to contact your local city council member or other elected official, and possibly get them to put some pressure on the bank to back off.   

There is clearly no magic bullet here, but there might be some avenues left that you have not yet pursued.

If you have equity, it might be possible to get the bank to hold off and let you sell the house on your terms, minus back mortgage, blah blah blah.  I know that is not the solution that you want, but it sure as hell beats the scenario you are running through your brain right now.  And maybe your benefits will kick in before that happens.  Do you have a 401k that you can access?  I know you don't want to do that either.  But it is something to consider. 

It is insane to think that you are waiting for back benefits, and that you might lose your home in the meantime.

If you are in the 5 boros, the new fiscal year starts July 1, and there might be some emergency one-time grants in either the budget that is ending, or the one that is about to start.  Most of the rest of the state runs on a April-March fiscal year, so whatever is in the pot right now is all there is. With the sequester in place, federal money is not going to be an option.   

Thinking about you, and hoping you can find some solutions. No prayers to offer.  But I hope my long rambling post contains at least some tangible suggestions.   

Please let me know if you contact the Financial Empowerment folks.   

Offline jetson

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #11 on: May 26, 2013, 10:33:07 PM »
Lori - here is some additional information from a friend (slightly edited by me):

"Catholic Social Services may be equipped to help you. They pay rent, utilities and do 1000 other things that people need and are plugged into every social services agency in the country. Most of their clients are not Catholic. Please call them asap. And perhaps let your own church know what is going on. Unless it is some small, poor congregation, it has funds to help people in need but it doesn't have a mind reader on staff. If it is big enough, it is also going to be plugged into various social service agencies that can help. There is help available. you just need to go and ask."

Offline Quesi

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #12 on: May 26, 2013, 11:11:05 PM »
I agree with Jetson.  Catholic Charities is one of several organizations that often give one-time grants to help people in serious situations. 

It is important to note that they receive public money as well as getting church infrastructure help.  I often compete against them for grants. 

Offline Quesi

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #13 on: May 26, 2013, 11:20:31 PM »
And here is the link to the Financial Empowerment Centers.  http://www.nyc.gov/html/ofe/html/find/find.shtml 

Also, if you are in the 5 boros, call Bill De Blasio's office.  http://pubadvocate.nyc.gov/


Also, the Attorney General's office. 
http://www.ag.ny.gov/consumer-frauds/help-homeowners 
From this website:

If your loan servicer is one of the 5 institutions listed below, you might be eligible for a loan modification or refinance under the national mortgage settlement (link to settlement release). Contact your servicer to see if you are eligible:
•Ally/GMAC: 800-766-4622
•Bank of America: 877-488-7814 (Available M-F 7am - 9pm CST and Saturdays 8am CST - 5pm CST)
•Citi: 866-272-4749
•JPMorgan Chase: 866-372-6901
•Wells Fargo: 800-288-3212 (Available M-F 7 am to 7 pm CST)

Don't despair.  This is not going to be easy.  But I don't think that the fate you fear is inevitable. 



Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #14 on: May 26, 2013, 11:31:18 PM »
I don't live within the 5 boros.  I am in Dutchess County.  I have gone through all of my savings and had to cash in my son's college savings.  I went to a VA social worker.  She called someone & told them my situation to see if I could get a grant to keep my home out of foreclosure.  They didn't even give me the courtesy to call me & tell me no, they just blew me off.  My bank said they can't do anything for me since I have no income.  Everywhere I turn for help turns out to be a brick wall.  My medical condition can't be properly diagnosed or treated so that I can work.  If I get rid of my house there are no safe places to move that I will be able to afford on what disability will pay.  I don't see how my house will sell because it is not in great condition.  When I was working I never had time to keep it up. If I do sell it the money I get for my house will disqualify me for any assistance but that money will not last.  I don't want any prayers.  I have accepted that prayer is useless.
It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Offline Quesi

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #15 on: May 27, 2013, 05:54:08 AM »
I'm sorry the VA social worker blew you off.  The sequester is probably hitting them hard, and they may be understaffed. And you will find that problem with any office getting federal money at the moment.  But an understaffed office might forget to return a phone call, but that doesn't mean you should give up.  Call back.  Again and again.  Dammit, you are a vet, and they should be working to protect you.

But pursue other resources as well.   

Here is a link to a national hotline.  http://www.hopenow.com/  They might be facing the same sequester issues, but it is certainly worth a call.

State funded offices and programs are not necessarily facing sequester problems because they rely on different funding streams. 

Try the State Attorney General's office link that I offered before. 

http://www.ag.ny.gov/consumer-frauds/help-homeowners 

This is a really useful page, with a wealth of information. I learned quite a bit just looking at it, including:


•Never pay an up-front fee for mortgage-related services. It is a violation of New York law to charge upfront fees for such services, and violations should be reported to the Attorney General’s office at 1-800-771-7755.

Here is some information on not for profit agencies that provide foreclosure assistance in Duchess County.

http://www.nysmortgagesettlement.com/housingcounselors#Dutchess

Also, apparently Law Help provides foreclosure assistance.  www.lawhelp.org/ny/

No.  Prayer is not going to help your situation.  But the public and even our elected officials and bureaucratic agencies have lost patience with the foreclosure crisis.  You are fortunate to be on the back end of the crisis, because there are agencies that are set up to provide assistance to families that did not exist at the beginning of the crisis.

The banks got bailout money. Billions and billions of dollars, some of it from your own tax dollars, to help them survive.  Now it is your turn to seek assistance. 

Offline The Gawd

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #16 on: May 27, 2013, 11:16:54 PM »
I too am sorry to hear of your situation Lori.

I know everyone is offering advice here. I dont know much about social services, however, I do know a little about insurance. If your job has added to any mental or physical condition you may be experiencing perhaps filing a worker's compensation claim would be of help. It doesnt cost you any resources and if your past employer is not cooperating with the process you can go directly to the state with concerns. I am not suggesting you file a fraudulent claim, but it seems like your job may have contributed.

Best wishes. Also, at this point in time would allowing your child to be with his father and his family be a good, at least temporary option? I know it can and is a hard decision to give up your child but if its for the better it would be a viable option, no?

Offline Mooby

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #17 on: May 29, 2013, 07:10:07 PM »
Prayed and prayed.  Read and read.  Nothing, nada, complete emptiness.
Then it sounds like God, if He's up there, is being a bit of a jerk.  It's one thing to rope you into His plan without asking; it's another for him to ignore an honest request to share the details with you.  I'm all for powering through problems with faith, but I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a little feedback while doing so.

For what it's worth, I think you're justified in giving God the cold shoulder for a while until He gets His act together.

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And do you have any kind of support system?
No
Have you tried asking for help at your church?  Many church congregations are able to pull together a surprising amount of support when a member is in need.  Or are you concerned they might spend more time worrying about your spiritual attitude than helping with actual problems?

Also, do you have anyone online you can talk to?  I'd love to chat with you over IM or PM if you'd like a Christian to talk to, and I'm sure a lot of other members here would be willing to do the same if you'd prefer someone a bit less odd.  ;)
"I'm doing science and I'm still alive."--J.C.

Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #18 on: May 29, 2013, 08:00:56 PM »
Thanks everyone for your suggestions & concerns.  I promise to reply to anyone who sent me a PM when I am up to it.  Went to to VA today for the "Environmental Exam" so they can decide whether my health issues may be related to any exposure I may have had in the Persian Gulf.  I'm not getting my hopes up.  Some guy from a Credit Counsellor called me; said he got my number from my mortgage company. I have a phone appointment to talk to some other person to see if there is anything they can do to help me.  I called the disability attorney and raised a fuss about needing to speed up my claim and actually got to speak with an attorney instead of a secretary this time.  I guess I still have a little fight left in me.
It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #19 on: May 29, 2013, 08:09:18 PM »

Have you tried asking for help at your church?  Many church congregations are able to pull together a surprising amount of support when a member is in need.  Or are you concerned they might spend more time worrying about your spiritual attitude than helping with actual problems?

I haven't made it known yet at the Church how serious my issues are.  A couple people know I haven't been working for awhile but no one knows how sick I've been or how bad off I am financially.  They all still think I am as competent as I used to be.  I definitely would not let them know my faith is circling the drain. 
It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Offline Mooby

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #20 on: May 29, 2013, 08:15:24 PM »
I guess I still have a little fight left in me.
Awesome!  We can totally montage that!

"I'm doing science and I'm still alive."--J.C.

Offline Quesi

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #21 on: May 30, 2013, 01:49:18 AM »
Thanks everyone for your suggestions & concerns.  I promise to reply to anyone who sent me a PM when I am up to it.  Went to to VA today for the "Environmental Exam" so they can decide whether my health issues may be related to any exposure I may have had in the Persian Gulf.  I'm not getting my hopes up.  Some guy from a Credit Counsellor called me; said he got my number from my mortgage company. I have a phone appointment to talk to some other person to see if there is anything they can do to help me.  I called the disability attorney and raised a fuss about needing to speed up my claim and actually got to speak with an attorney instead of a secretary this time.  I guess I still have a little fight left in me.

I know you are a strong woman, and you've got some fight left in you.  It is certainly not going to be easy, but I really think that there are possible solutions.  Who is this credit counselor?  He was referred by the bank?  Again, I would really push the Financial Empowerment Center.  But it is possible (probable?) that the bank really doesn't want your house.  They want a solution to the problem, and they may be your unlikely ally to a certain extent.  But their interest is their bottom line, not your well being. 

Obviously, your health issues are impacting on your ability to put up this fight.  It is so absurd that you need to pay lawyers to get you the back pay to which you are entitled.  But I know it is a reality.  I had a staff member with MS.  For years, it wasn't too bad.  We made a few accommodations, such as paying for her to take taxis to meetings.  I expected that as the disease progressed, this wonderful employee would be in a wheelchair, as other people who I knew with MS were.  I imagined we would just do what we needed to do to accommodate her in a wheelchair.  But the disease took a different route.  Out of nowhere, she got spacey.  Started walking around work in no shoes.  One day she didn't show up.  We called and called.  The next day she answered the phone, wept, and said she had forgotten to go to work.  And it was downhill from there.  This smart, hardworking, responsible member of my staff (for more than a decade) became incapable of working.  But she didn't show any of the "physical" signs that would make her unable to work.  She fought forever to get disability.  Hired lawyers.  And they took their cut. 

The system sucks.

Lori, you are in my thoughts. 

 

Offline Traveler

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #22 on: May 30, 2013, 10:34:31 AM »
I don't have any practical advice to give, other than what's already been said. I just want to add my concern for you, and my best wishes for you to find a healthy way out of this mess. Sometimes life sucks. Accept any and all help offered, and please, by all means, let your church members help you. It sounds like they're the one pool of resources that you can count on, if you only let them  know you need it.

Hugs and best of luck to you in this very difficult time. (we need a hugs emoticon)
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave.

Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #23 on: June 02, 2013, 12:34:00 AM »
Proving I have pain to doctors is about as easy as proving there is a god to atheists.  All the papers are normal -- the MRI, EEG, EKG, CT, CXR...  (Don't ask me why I had an EKG and CXR for a headache, I'm still trying to figure that one out.) The only thing that come up abnormal on my labs was my cholesterol was too high which hardly explains chronic headaches.  I had a sleep study which resulted in a diagnosis of Restless Leg Syndrome - again no explanation for constant headaches.  So according to them, and the way I get treated, my headaches are "all in my head."  Since my symptoms are consistent with what their pieces of paper tell them is migraine they give me prophylactic medications which do nothing but cause me crappy side effects which may or may not be permanent.  But nothing for pain - because that isn't on their list.

Enough griping...  I want to be at peace with my life.  I want to accept what I cannot change or control and just try to live.  To find some way to focus on something other than constant pain.  I have very few memories prior to adulthood of my mother not being depressed and I don't want to do the same to my son. 
It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Offline Quesi

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #24 on: June 02, 2013, 06:12:53 AM »
Lori, I am so sorry.  It is my sincerest hope that you are MORE successful at proving the existence of this pain than you will be at convincing atheists of a deity. 

I know you are a medical professional, and you certainly know more about the field than I do, but I feel great empathy for your plight.   There is nothing more frustrating than KNOWING that you have pain, and having doctors tell you that you don't.  As a child, I suffered temporary paralysis.  I was tested for polio, neurological diseases, and a host of other bizarre and rare medical anomalies, only to have my parents told that I was probably faking it because I didn't want to go to school.  Years later, it became apparent that I had suffered from guillain barre, probably as a result of a rubella vaccine.  It was real.  Rare.  I certainly make sure that my daughter has all of her vaccines, because it so rare.  But it was real. 

As a vet, you have been exposed to environmental conditions that are not common among members of the general population, and as someone who lived and worked in a very different ecosystem, you have been exposed to potential diseases or parasites or god-knows-what, that most western doctors are not trained to look for. 

Don't stop searching for a cause.  And griping here is better than griping to your son. 

Keep us updated. 

Offline The Gawd

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #25 on: June 02, 2013, 07:36:02 AM »
Proving I have pain to doctors is about as easy as proving there is a god to atheists.  All the papers are normal -- the MRI, EEG, EKG, CT, CXR...  (Don't ask me why I had an EKG and CXR for a headache, I'm still trying to figure that one out.) The only thing that come up abnormal on my labs was my cholesterol was too high which hardly explains chronic headaches.  I had a sleep study which resulted in a diagnosis of Restless Leg Syndrome - again no explanation for constant headaches.  So according to them, and the way I get treated, my headaches are "all in my head."  Since my symptoms are consistent with what their pieces of paper tell them is migraine they give me prophylactic medications which do nothing but cause me crappy side effects which may or may not be permanent.  But nothing for pain - because that isn't on their list.

Enough griping...  I want to be at peace with my life.  I want to accept what I cannot change or control and just try to live.  To find some way to focus on something other than constant pain.  I have very few memories prior to adulthood of my mother not being depressed and I don't want to do the same to my son.
I have an ex who was having these extreme headaches that she always assumed was just migraines. She went to all sorts of doctors down in Central Illinois to be diagnosed but they had no idea what was wrong with here (I gave them a few. but I digress). After a while of no results and medications not working they shipped her up here to Chicago to see a specialist and it took a couple trips but they figured out what was ailing her. Her diagnosis slips me right now, but it did require fairly serious brain and and spine surgery. Something with spinal fluid leaking or not getting to her brain. I'll call and find out. Turns out this diagnosis is often times mis diagnosed due to how uncommon it is. She did have some complications with the surgery but those have been cleared up and shes doing fine now.

I imagine being up in NY you would have access to a lot of the experts as we would here in Chicago, but I'll follow up none-the-less. Its not about griping Lori, its about finding viable solutions to lifes problems.

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #26 on: June 02, 2013, 08:42:13 AM »
Lori, I'm so sorry ... I can't imagine any doctor in this day and age telling you that a headache is all in your head. I suffer from migraine, and hated preventatives. I do well with Zomig as needed, andI take it with two ibuprofen or aspirin. Then I rest for an hour or so, and am usually good for twelve hours or so.

Sounds like you need new doctors, and or a specialist in headache.
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave.

Offline The Gawd

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #27 on: June 02, 2013, 08:45:47 PM »
Diagnosis Lori was Chiari malformation and pseudotumor ceribri. I know the description on mayoclinic.com for pseudotumor ceribri says it is more common in obese women, but my ex was a tiny thing... so it can happen to anyone.

Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: My SPAG god is not meeting my standards.
« Reply #28 on: June 03, 2013, 10:45:43 AM »
As a vet, you have been exposed to environmental conditions that are not common among members of the general population, and as someone who lived and worked in a very different ecosystem, you have been exposed to potential diseases or parasites or god-knows-what, that most western doctors are not trained to look for. 

I just had an Environmental Consult at a VA Clinic.  I had to list the different places I was during Desert Storm & the different vaccines and meds I had to take specifically during that service.  I then listed any chronic conditions I have had that fall within a list of conditions that are under the umbrella of "Gulf War Syndrome."  In 2008 I had constant hives and intermittent angioedema (swelling of lips, eyelids)  I went to dermatologists, allergists, was put on special diets, had numerous blood tests.  They couldn't do the skin testing on me because I couldn't tolerate being off antihistamines.  I was a serious mess for pretty much a year.  It ended up gradually going away as mysteriously as it started. It didn't interfere with my job at the time because I worked per diem so I could work pretty much when I felt like it, plus I was working somewhere where I was very close with everyone so they were very understanding and didn't throw me under the bus unlike my last job.  They never did figure out what why this was happening but if they had done this Environmental Consult then I would be getting benefits now.
It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.