I was late for work the other day and couldn't find my car keys. I was frantic because I had been written up recently for too many unexcused latenesses and feared I might lose my job. Being an atheist I wasn't about to pray for help but like I said I was desperate. Finally when at my wits end the words involuntarily came from my lips: "Please god help me find my keys". You know what happened next, absolutely nothing, nada, zip, zilch. I never did find those fucking keys. I had to take a cab to work and I was right, they fired my ass.