I'm glad you all can have those open discussions with your wife and kids. That's an amazing, wonderful thing - to allow each other to think for yourself - openly, even if there's some disagreement. As far as sharing those views beyond the confines of your immediate family - well that can get tricky I'm sure.
Just to be clear, I never had such a discussion with my wife while we were married. She knew that I did not regularly attend church prior to our marriage, so I wasn't hiding my lack of interest (at that time) in religion. We divorced a long time ago and I never had discussions with her afterward, either. She wanted our daughter to attend the Methodist church where we were married and go through confirmation. Only because my daughter's age was right for the class did this issue arise between us. At this point, the ex-wife has become aware through our daughter that I am atheist and likely suspects the daughter is one, too, but the daughter still attends church on occasion, mostly with her friends.
Unfortunately, I don't have a spouse who is open to even having those discussions - it's a closed book. A couple weeks ago, I'd managed to avoid attending church with her and the kids due to a backache (these illnesses pop up often with me on Sundays ). We went for a walk when she returned and she began telling me about the message that morning - the sermon on the mount. I asked what I thought was a fairly straightforward question: "Did the pastor address how he thought Matthew could recount the sermon verbatim about 40 years after the event when he wrote the gospel?" Here are the questions/comments I got rapid-fire without a chance to answer before she stormed off, walk over:
"Are you saying you doubt the bible is the inerrant word of god - every word in it!?";
"Where did you come up with such a foolish thought to even question what the bible says?";
"Do you realize these thoughts come straight to you from satan - and you are his tool?!";
"You need to fall on your face in prayer for even having such foolish thoughts and you should take off work next week to study the word day in and day out to get your mind right!"'
"If you have these foolish thoughts, keep them to yourself and don't even breathe a word of them to the kids - you can wallow in sin on your own."
So, you are married to a fundy. You have my sympathies.
When asked about the potential errors in the bible, even during my attempts to be a believer, I would have said wholeheartedly, Yes -- the bible has errors! No one believes all of the information in the bible. If we are supposed to, then lets kill our children for showing disrespect, or at least sell the daughter into slavery so we can get a return on our investment. I would be deadly serious in my response. I have no time for "inerrant word of god" types. Your wife is likely smart enough to see these problems but has allowed herself to become deluded by whackos who think that there are no errors in the bible.
As for the other questions, my answers are always direct and simple: (1) If god made me, then he made me as I am. If he made me with a brain, then he made me with the ability to properly question what I hear and exercise reason through to a proper conclusion. Without this ability, one can never see a difference between "satan" and "god". How do we know that the supposed inerrant bible was not one created by "satan" to deceive you? (2) To say that my thoughts come from satan requires me to ask the same of you. (3) To fail to use the power "god" has given me is a sin in and of itself. If god gave me the power to be good, I must be good, right? If god gave me the power to think, I must think, right? If god gave me the power to recognize fallacy and evil, then I must recognize it, right? Failure to recognize the errors in man's writings, translations or interpretations of the bible would be sinful.
Now, if she cannot handle that ^ discussion, I am sorry to say that you have no hope. You must either decide to carry on in a soulless marriage and attend church regularly, or you must decide to confront her totalitarian behaviors and engage in some common sense which might risk the end of a marriage. It's a tough choice.
I knew she wouldn't entertain "atheism" but I was a little shocked how a rather benign question prompted such vitriol... needless to say I know my place in the closet now for sure. She never brought it up again and I don't plan on it either...
Ah, well, then you plan on living with it for the foreseeable future. Be that as it may, I would monitor the children to make sure that they can maintain reason and logic when dealing with the problems they will face in their lives. They will likely see that mom is not well-grounded in these areas and just learn to roll with the punches.