Is Coexistence Possible?

[LoriPinkAngel]

Sometimes I think every time I respond to a thread I'm just offending everyone.  I wouldn't even call myself a tolerant person because to me that implies that views other than mine require tolerance rather than acceptance.  I just feel that people jump on and attack comments without considering the spirit with which the comment was made a lot of the time.  I confess that I am a theist and a Christian at that.  But my belief system is highly unconventional. I enjoy intelligent conversation and witty exchanges which are plentiful on this forum.  The only views I outright object to are the ones which prohibit others from believing or thinking as they wish.  I guess that is a very paradoxical. (not sure if that's the right word)  But bottom line is -- can believers coexist with nonbelievers?  Or will such a large portion of each group always be wanting to convert or deconvert the others? (even within each group) I would just enjoy an intelligent environment where people could agree to disagree.

[Traveler]

I've never had any trouble co-existing with most religious persons, especially in person. I DO have trouble co-existing with fundamentalists (born again, evangelical ... whatever your term of the day is for VERY conservative and outspoken folks). In real life, I have many evangelicals in my extended family. We can co-exist, but only by not discussing religion (or politics).

Its a sad fact that many of the christians we see on this site are of the more far-right type than of the more moderate type. I think that makes it easy for people to jump to conclusions, and then jump down each other's throats. I think that's sad. I would LOVE to see more open discussion, safe questioning, and mutual respect. I know that, for me, the minute someone starts talking (or ranting or preaching) AT me, I stop listening. Its only by talking WITH each other that we can learn anything real about each other, and perhaps come to some mutual understanding.

[Quesi]

I'm sorry that you have to ask that question. 

May I make a few observations? 

First of all, a significant percentage of "rational thinkers" are more than a little obsessive about details and accuracy.  They are not looking for intent.  They are scrutinizing details.  They are looking to find flaws in arguments. That is what they do. 

You are a hospice nurse.  So you are a medical professional, trained in science, but a significant percentage of your work has to do with accurately reading emotions, and responding to those emotions.  The content is not as important as the intent.  I'm guessing that you were drawn to the field because you are innately empathetic, and then in your professional life, you found yourself improving upon that particular set of skills.

I'm an empathy-oozing type too.  Yeah, I look for evidence, and I don't let folks get away with too much BS, but I often respond emotionally before I respond rationally.  And I get some shit here for it too.  But I'm on the majority side here, and you are on the minority side, so I suspect that folks here cut me more slack than they do you. 

I very much enjoy your contributions to the intelligent discussions here.  I know a lot of people here do.  And I suspect that if you and I were having a drink after work, we would not even talk about religion.  I certainly don't spend my life trying to "deconvert" my religious friends and family.  If I share a common sense of values with someone who is religious, I may be interested in hearing how their religion impacts on their life and their culture and their family and their traditions, but I have no interest in attacking it.  And I'm more interested in those values and motivations and actions and life decisions and even their feelings!   I coexist quite happily with my religious friends.   

But the theme of this website is a confrontational one.  And so the rational thinkers, even the ones who sit quietly and politely when their uncle Marvin rants irrationally about the afterlife at Thanksgiving dinner, are on their game here. 

Does any of that make any sense?  Does any of it begin to address your concerns?   

[Traveler]

Quesi makes a lot of good points. I'm an artist, and I used to be an engineer. I can walk the line between touchy-feely and logical. It sometimes makes me a "weirdo" in both circles. I love some of the touchy-feely stuff. Spiritual questions, for instance, but not inclined to a religious structure. There was even a fellow who was starting up a forum for the "spiritual atheist." Unfortunately, it never took off, but I think it would have been fascinating, and would have probably been much more welcoming of what some of the "locals" call "woo."

I generally get a positive feeling from your posts. Not that I necessarily agree, but that you mean well. Please don't give up on us. 

By the way, your "Darwin" percentage is quite high toward the positive. This is a good sign that you are seen in a positive light here. I'm sorry that it doesn't always feel that way.

[LoriPinkAngel]

"Spiritual Atheist?"  Hmmmm.  For some reason that term brought Phoebe Buffet to my mind.  I don't know whether or not she was an atheist.  She seemed kind of religiously ambiguous.  She is one of my favorite characters.

[Traveler]

Oh, from Friends? She was an awesome character!