Author Topic: Humor  (Read 1611 times)

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Offline Tero

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Humor
« on: February 06, 2013, 07:22:57 AM »
I post a blog on and off, about once a week at least. Lat one
http://teroreport.blogspot.com/2013/02/extremely-comprehensive-prog-collection.html

these two were the most popular last few months:
http://teroreport.blogspot.com/2013/02/america-goes-to-mall.html

http://teroreport.blogspot.com/2013/01/copy-machine-requires-project-code-for.html

I went to grad school in Madison WI where we had The Onion in print, late 1970s.

You can always get the updates in my signature link.

Offline Tero

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Re: Humor
« Reply #1 on: February 27, 2013, 07:33:29 AM »

Offline Tero

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Re: Humor
« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2013, 07:36:54 AM »
And stepping out of atheism, my last laugh on Youtubes

Offline Tero

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Re: Humor
« Reply #3 on: March 16, 2013, 10:01:24 AM »
The old stories are still at Tero Report.
http://teroreport.blogspot.com/
 New ones at
http://karireport.blogspot.com/

Offline Tero

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Re: Humor
« Reply #4 on: May 25, 2013, 06:30:13 AM »
Not quite finished with the story yet, but somehow I need to use the phrase Lamarckian Dinosaurs.

Dinosaurs roamed the garden of Eden as vegetarians. Then the snake/apple/ Eve incident happened. They had to hrow teeth. Lamarckian dinosaurs!

Offline Nam

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Re: Humor
« Reply #5 on: May 25, 2013, 07:32:18 PM »
The Matt Damon video was funny.

-Nam
This is my signature "Nam", don't I have nice typing skills?

Offline Tero

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Re: Humor
« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2013, 06:06:03 AM »

Offline Tero

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Re: Humor
« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2013, 06:17:28 PM »

Offline magicmiles

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Re: Humor
« Reply #8 on: June 11, 2013, 05:00:31 PM »
The 2010 world cup was ruined for me by that slippery bastard Paul.

Offline magicmiles

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Re: Humor
« Reply #9 on: June 14, 2013, 09:21:04 PM »
I gave my friend an abacus for his birthday. It's powered by telekinesis.

It's the thought that counts.


I really love self-piloted planes. But here I go, droning on again.



The 2010 world cup was ruined for me by that slippery bastard Paul.

Offline magicmiles

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Re: Humor
« Reply #10 on: June 19, 2013, 10:28:18 PM »
My teacher demanded an example of an incomplete sentence.

I told her 'an escaped prisoner'.
The 2010 world cup was ruined for me by that slippery bastard Paul.

Offline magicmiles

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Re: Humor
« Reply #11 on: June 19, 2013, 10:30:00 PM »
My friend was fired from his job with a road crew for theft.

I should have seen it coming. I was at his house just last week, and all the signs were there.
The 2010 world cup was ruined for me by that slippery bastard Paul.

Offline Azdgari

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Re: Humor
« Reply #12 on: June 19, 2013, 10:51:08 PM »
...

Q: What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?

A: Christopher Reeves!
The highest moral human authority is copied by our Gandhi neurons through observation.

Offline magicmiles

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Re: Humor
« Reply #13 on: June 19, 2013, 10:56:54 PM »
^ What is it about us that we can laugh at tragedy...(and I did laugh)
The 2010 world cup was ruined for me by that slippery bastard Paul.

Offline pianodwarf

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Re: Humor
« Reply #14 on: June 20, 2013, 05:44:21 AM »
My girlfriend is schizophrenic.  It can make things difficult sometimes, but I still stay with her because she's good people.
[On how kangaroos could have gotten back to Australia after the flood]:  Don't kangaroos skip along the surface of the water? --Kenn

Offline Shankly

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Re: Humor
« Reply #15 on: June 20, 2013, 06:05:40 AM »
1 in 10 people understand binary. The other doesn't.

Offline Seppuku

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Re: Humor
« Reply #16 on: June 20, 2013, 09:37:45 AM »
I loved this for some reason. I'm not normally a Steve Carrol fan.



Likewise, Will Ferrel.

“It is difficult to understand the universe if you only study one planet” - Miyamoto Musashi
Warning: I occassionally forget to proofread my posts to spot typos or to spot poor editing.

Online One Above All

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Re: Humor
« Reply #17 on: June 20, 2013, 11:35:53 AM »


Source: http://www.explosm.net/comics/2834/

I recommend Cyanide and Happiness for those who haven't read the comics yet.
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

A.K.A.: Blaziken_rjcf/Lucifer/All In One.

Offline jdawg70

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Re: Humor
« Reply #18 on: June 20, 2013, 12:16:16 PM »
If we're going with comics I cannot recommend this one enough:
http://amultiverse.com

"When we landed on the moon, that was the point where god should have come up and said 'hello'. Because if you invent some creatures, put them on the blue one and they make it to the grey one, you f**king turn up and say 'well done'."
- Eddie Izzard

Online Backspace

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Re: Humor
« Reply #19 on: June 20, 2013, 01:18:26 PM »
Just got myself a new Czech girlfriend, but it's taken her 5 days to vacuum the house.  Turns out she's a Slovak.
There is no opinion so absurd that a preacher could not express it.
-- Bernie Katz

Offline Seppuku

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Re: Humor
« Reply #20 on: June 21, 2013, 02:57:07 AM »
Now for some Mitchell and Webb




“It is difficult to understand the universe if you only study one planet” - Miyamoto Musashi
Warning: I occassionally forget to proofread my posts to spot typos or to spot poor editing.

Offline magicmiles

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Re: Humor
« Reply #21 on: June 24, 2013, 10:28:35 PM »
What's the most important aspect of a joke the timing.
The 2010 world cup was ruined for me by that slippery bastard Paul.

Offline magicmiles

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Re: Humor
« Reply #22 on: June 27, 2013, 01:09:05 AM »
Tweet to Edward Snowden: "Ed -  hand yourself in. NSA -  Hi!"
« Last Edit: June 27, 2013, 01:27:38 AM by magicmiles »
The 2010 world cup was ruined for me by that slippery bastard Paul.

Offline Tero

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Re: Humor
« Reply #23 on: November 10, 2013, 01:14:56 PM »
The old blog is dead, though still readable. I could not use the Tero name so I had a new Google ID, that is why it now runs under Kari.
http://karireport.blogspot.com/

Online Backspace

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Re: Humor
« Reply #24 on: November 10, 2013, 09:07:57 PM »
How did Hitler tie his shoes?

With little knotzies.
There is no opinion so absurd that a preacher could not express it.
-- Bernie Katz

Offline shnozzola

Re: Humor
« Reply #25 on: November 10, 2013, 10:14:41 PM »
From Garrison Keiler on Prairie Home Companion

An old priest invited the younger new priest to his house for dinner. When the young priest arrived, he was surprised to see that the old priest had a shapely, beautiful, sensuous house maid. During dinner, the young priest finally spoke up. "Father Jacob," he said, "I must ask you about your house maid. She is beautiful. Don't you find it difficult to resist temptation."

 The old priest looked at him coyly and said, "Of course not."

 A few days later, the house maid approached the old priest, and said, "Father, I'm concerned. I can't find the silver serving spoon. It's always right here in the drawer. I hate to say it, but it's been missing ever since you had dinner with the new priest."

 So the old priest, not wanting to seem accusatory, writes the new priest a letter. "Now I'm not saying that you took the silver serving spoon, and I'm not saying that you didn't take the silver serving spoon. But the fact remains that since you were here the silver serving spoon has been missing."

 A few days later the old priest received a letter from the new priest. "Now I'm not saying that you're sleeping with your house maid, and I'm not saying that you're not sleeping with your house maid, but the fact remains that if you were sleeping in your own bed, you would have found the serving spoon by now."
“I wanna go ice fishing on Europa, and see if something swims up to the camera lens and licks it.”- Neil deGrasse Tyson

Offline magicmiles

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Re: Humor
« Reply #26 on: November 11, 2013, 05:52:12 PM »
My wife came across the following image recently whilst studying for an anatomy exam:



That's one happy cactus.
The 2010 world cup was ruined for me by that slippery bastard Paul.

Offline Seppuku

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Re: Humor
« Reply #27 on: November 11, 2013, 08:18:26 PM »
In addition to my Between 2 Ferns videos, Justin Bieber:

“It is difficult to understand the universe if you only study one planet” - Miyamoto Musashi
Warning: I occassionally forget to proofread my posts to spot typos or to spot poor editing.

Offline Nam

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Re: Humor
« Reply #28 on: November 13, 2013, 05:12:23 PM »
What did the one female fish say to the male fish? Is that a hook in your mouth or are you just happy to see me?

Ha ha...eh.

-Nam
This is my signature "Nam", don't I have nice typing skills?