Author Topic: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!  (Read 944 times)

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Offline Brakeman

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Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« on: February 03, 2013, 07:23:18 PM »
Jesus attacks a utilities worker and a woman who came to help.

We're waiting on the pope to comment..

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=19b_1359885608

God does move in mysterious ways..
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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2013, 07:36:53 PM »
Don't worry about it. A hippy hitchhiker gave him the ax. Now christians will have to wear little hatchets on chains around their necks. Or jail keys. Whatever.

But we'll be fine. This time it was more obvious that he's a kook.

And fat too.

Funny what believing crazy things will do to a guy. Like, you know, make him crazy.



Jesus, the cracker flavored treat!

Offline Disciple of Sagan

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2013, 09:35:09 PM »
Wow... Pauly Shore looks like hell. "Smash, smash Sa-MASH!!"
The cosmos is also within us. We are made of star stuff.

The only thing bigger than the universe is humanity's collective sense of self-importance.

Offline Nick

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2013, 10:53:21 PM »
Good thing Jesus did not have an AR-15.  He also does not seem to be as nice as He was the 1st time He was here.  I guess getting nailed will piss off a guy.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline Samothec

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2013, 01:54:03 AM »
I quite enjoyed the hitchhiker's exuberant recounting – first featuring the unneeded word "f**king" several times then later how he enthusiastically described smashing the deranged "Jesus" in the head with the hatchet.
Faith must trample under foot all reason, sense, and understanding. - Martin Luther

Online One Above All

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2013, 05:44:56 AM »
I'd bet Olivianus (or whatever his name is) would be willing to follow this "Jesus".
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

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Offline Brakeman

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #6 on: February 04, 2013, 06:05:26 AM »
But we'll be fine. This time it was more obvious that he's a kook.

It was pretty obvious last time and you know how that turned out..
Help find the cure for FUNDAMENTIA !

Offline Nick

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #7 on: February 04, 2013, 07:43:41 AM »
So I suppose Christians have to "ax" Jesus for forgiveness now.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline Brakeman

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #8 on: February 04, 2013, 07:55:03 AM »
Yes! Especially when the holy spirit has someone pinned against a wall.
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Online rev45

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #9 on: February 04, 2013, 09:06:33 AM »
So Jesus didn't return riding on a white horse with a sword coming out of his mouth but rather he returned driving a black vehicle with a hatchet in his head?  Man the metaphors in the book of Revelation really are hard to decipher.
Here read a book.  It's free.
http://www.literatureproject.com/

Could a being create the fifty billion galaxies, each with two hundred billion stars, then rejoice in the smell of burning goat flesh?   Ron Patterson

Offline The Gawd

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #10 on: February 04, 2013, 09:08:09 AM »
We at least know this Jesus exists. Whats terrible, though, is that after he survives getting smashed with an ax several times his followers will use this as proof that he is risen.

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #11 on: February 04, 2013, 09:37:12 AM »
From a hammer to a hatchet, (or being nailed to being nailed) "who'd thought it"
We theists have no evidence for our beliefs. So no amount of rational evidence will dissuade us from those beliefs. - JCisall

It would be pretty piss poor brainwashing, if the victims knew they were brainwashed, wouldn't it? - Screwtape. 04/12/12

Offline Willie

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #12 on: February 04, 2013, 09:05:07 PM »
Here's the full unedited interview with the hippie hitchhiker guy (the 2nd video on the page):

http://www.mediaite.com/tv/must-see-amazing-interview-with-hatchet-wielding-homeless-hitchhiker-who-took-down-man-claiming-to-be-jesus/


Offline Noman Peopled

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #13 on: February 09, 2013, 06:09:14 AM »
I gotta say this is not how I thought the second coming of Jesus would end. I guess god couldn't raise enough money for the sequel.
"Deferinate" itself appears to be a new word... though I'm perfectly carmotic with it.
-xphobe

Offline Nick

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #14 on: February 09, 2013, 09:22:59 AM »
The sequel is usually never as good as the original.  I don't know how Catholics are going to handle this.  The sign of the cross is easy to make .  How do you make the sign of the hatchet?
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline The Gawd

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #15 on: February 09, 2013, 10:27:27 AM »
symbols are soooo 1st Century. They should move on to sounds... "SMASH SMASH SMASH"

Offline Brakeman

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #16 on: February 09, 2013, 11:10:54 AM »
The sequel is usually never as good as the original.  I don't know how Catholics are going to handle this.  The sign of the cross is easy to make .  How do you make the sign of the hatchet?

They'll probably mimic the Atlanta Braves Baseball fans. They hum and make chopping motions with their hands. Wow, won't church be obnoxious then!
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