« previous next »
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!  (Read 2208 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Brakeman

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1243
  • Darwins +47/-3
  • Gender: Male
Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« on: February 03, 2013, 07:23:18 PM »
Jesus attacks a utilities worker and a woman who came to help.

We're waiting on the pope to comment..

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=19b_1359885608

God does move in mysterious ways..
Logged
Help find the cure for FUNDAMENTIA !

Offline ParkingPlaces

  • Professor
  • ********
  • Posts: 7739
  • Darwins +1176/-6
  • Gender: Male
  • This space for rent
Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2013, 07:36:53 PM »
Don't worry about it. A hippy hitchhiker gave him the ax. Now christians will have to wear little hatchets on chains around their necks. Or jail keys. Whatever.

But we'll be fine. This time it was more obvious that he's a kook.

And fat too.

Funny what believing crazy things will do to a guy. Like, you know, make him crazy.



Logged
What I lack in sophistication I make up for with other shortcomings.

Offline Disciple of Sagan

  • Postgraduate
  • *****
  • Posts: 976
  • Darwins +60/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Current mood: Malcontent
Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2013, 09:35:09 PM »
Wow... Pauly Shore looks like hell. "Smash, smash Sa-MASH!!"
Logged
The cosmos is also within us. We are made of star stuff.

The only thing bigger than the universe is humanity's collective sense of self-importance.

Offline Nick

  • Laureate
  • *********
  • Posts: 13110
  • Darwins +374/-9
  • Gender: Male
Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2013, 10:53:21 PM »
Good thing Jesus did not have an AR-15.  He also does not seem to be as nice as He was the 1st time He was here.  I guess getting nailed will piss off a guy.
Logged
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline Samothec

  • Postgraduate
  • *****
  • Posts: 585
  • Darwins +49/-2
  • Gender: Male
Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2013, 01:54:03 AM »
I quite enjoyed the hitchhiker's exuberant recounting – first featuring the unneeded word "f**king" several times then later how he enthusiastically described smashing the deranged "Jesus" in the head with the hatchet.
Logged
Faith must trample under foot all reason, sense, and understanding. - Martin Luther

Offline One Above All

  • Laureate
  • *********
  • Posts: 14666
  • Darwins +607/-65
  • Supreme ruler of the multiverse; All In One
Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2013, 05:44:56 AM »
I'd bet Olivianus (or whatever his name is) would be willing to follow this "Jesus".
Logged
My names are many, yet I am One.
-Orion, son of Fire and Light, Sol Invictus.

Quote from: nogodsforme on November 24, 2015, 08:52:01 PM
Religions need books because they don't have gods.

Discord: https://discord.gg/Hhz7Ff2

Offline Brakeman

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1243
  • Darwins +47/-3
  • Gender: Male
Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #6 on: February 04, 2013, 06:05:26 AM »
Quote from: ParkingPlaces on February 03, 2013, 07:36:53 PM
But we'll be fine. This time it was more obvious that he's a kook.

It was pretty obvious last time and you know how that turned out..
Logged
Help find the cure for FUNDAMENTIA !

Offline Nick

  • Laureate
  • *********
  • Posts: 13110
  • Darwins +374/-9
  • Gender: Male
Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #7 on: February 04, 2013, 07:43:41 AM »
So I suppose Christians have to "ax" Jesus for forgiveness now.
Logged
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline Brakeman

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1243
  • Darwins +47/-3
  • Gender: Male
Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #8 on: February 04, 2013, 07:55:03 AM »
Yes! Especially when the holy spirit has someone pinned against a wall.
Logged
Help find the cure for FUNDAMENTIA !

Offline rev45

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1313
  • Darwins +59/-2
  • Gender: Male
  • Did your parents raise you to be an idiot?
Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #9 on: February 04, 2013, 09:06:33 AM »
So Jesus didn't return riding on a white horse with a sword coming out of his mouth but rather he returned driving a black vehicle with a hatchet in his head?  Man the metaphors in the book of Revelation really are hard to decipher.
Logged
+1/-0 karm for this message
Here read a book.  It's free.
http://www.literatureproject.com/

Could a being create the fifty billion galaxies, each with two hundred billion stars, then rejoice in the smell of burning goat flesh?   Ron Patterson

Offline The Gawd

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1654
  • Darwins +147/-6
  • Gender: Male
  • WWGHA Member
Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #10 on: February 04, 2013, 09:08:09 AM »
We at least know this Jesus exists. Whats terrible, though, is that after he survives getting smashed with an ax several times his followers will use this as proof that he is risen.
Logged

Offline bertatberts

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1556
  • Darwins +68/-8
  • Gender: Male
  • Humanists. Not perfect. Not forgiven. Responsible.
Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #11 on: February 04, 2013, 09:37:12 AM »
From a hammer to a hatchet, (or being nailed to being nailed) "who'd thought it"
Logged
We theists have no evidence for our beliefs. So no amount of rational evidence will dissuade us from those beliefs. - JCisall

It would be pretty piss poor brainwashing, if the victims knew they were brainwashed, wouldn't it? - Screwtape. 04/12/12

Offline Willie

  • Postgraduate
  • *****
  • Posts: 843
  • Darwins +120/-1
  • Gender: Male
Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #12 on: February 04, 2013, 09:05:07 PM »
Here's the full unedited interview with the hippie hitchhiker guy (the 2nd video on the page):

http://www.mediaite.com/tv/must-see-amazing-interview-with-hatchet-wielding-homeless-hitchhiker-who-took-down-man-claiming-to-be-jesus/

Logged

Offline Noman Peopled

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1904
  • Darwins +24/-1
  • Gender: Male
  • [insert wittycism]
Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #13 on: February 09, 2013, 06:09:14 AM »
I gotta say this is not how I thought the second coming of Jesus would end. I guess god couldn't raise enough money for the sequel.
Logged
"Deferinate" itself appears to be a new word... though I'm perfectly carmotic with it.
-xphobe

Offline Nick

  • Laureate
  • *********
  • Posts: 13110
  • Darwins +374/-9
  • Gender: Male
Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #14 on: February 09, 2013, 09:22:59 AM »
The sequel is usually never as good as the original.  I don't know how Catholics are going to handle this.  The sign of the cross is easy to make .  How do you make the sign of the hatchet?
Logged
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline The Gawd

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1654
  • Darwins +147/-6
  • Gender: Male
  • WWGHA Member
Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #15 on: February 09, 2013, 10:27:27 AM »
symbols are soooo 1st Century. They should move on to sounds... "SMASH SMASH SMASH"
Logged

Offline Brakeman

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1243
  • Darwins +47/-3
  • Gender: Male
Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #16 on: February 09, 2013, 11:10:54 AM »
Quote from: Nick on February 09, 2013, 09:22:59 AM
The sequel is usually never as good as the original.  I don't know how Catholics are going to handle this.  The sign of the cross is easy to make .  How do you make the sign of the hatchet?

They'll probably mimic the Atlanta Braves Baseball fans. They hum and make chopping motions with their hands. Wow, won't church be obnoxious then!
Logged
Help find the cure for FUNDAMENTIA !
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »