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Author Topic: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!  (Read 744 times)

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Offline Brakeman

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Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« on: February 03, 2013, 07:23:18 PM »
Jesus attacks a utilities worker and a woman who came to help.

We're waiting on the pope to comment..

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=19b_1359885608

God does move in mysterious ways..
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Offline ParkingPlaces

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2013, 07:36:53 PM »
Don't worry about it. A hippy hitchhiker gave him the ax. Now christians will have to wear little hatchets on chains around their necks. Or jail keys. Whatever.

But we'll be fine. This time it was more obvious that he's a kook.

And fat too.

Funny what believing crazy things will do to a guy. Like, you know, make him crazy.



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Offline Disciple of Sagan

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2013, 09:35:09 PM »
Wow... Pauly Shore looks like hell. "Smash, smash Sa-MASH!!"
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Offline Nick

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2013, 10:53:21 PM »
Good thing Jesus did not have an AR-15.  He also does not seem to be as nice as He was the 1st time He was here.  I guess getting nailed will piss off a guy.
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Offline Samothec

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2013, 01:54:03 AM »
I quite enjoyed the hitchhiker's exuberant recounting – first featuring the unneeded word "f**king" several times then later how he enthusiastically described smashing the deranged "Jesus" in the head with the hatchet.
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Offline One Above All

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2013, 05:44:56 AM »
I'd bet Olivianus (or whatever his name is) would be willing to follow this "Jesus".
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Offline Brakeman

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #6 on: February 04, 2013, 06:05:26 AM »
Quote from: ParkingPlaces on February 03, 2013, 07:36:53 PM
But we'll be fine. This time it was more obvious that he's a kook.

It was pretty obvious last time and you know how that turned out..
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Offline Nick

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #7 on: February 04, 2013, 07:43:41 AM »
So I suppose Christians have to "ax" Jesus for forgiveness now.
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Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

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Offline Brakeman

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #8 on: February 04, 2013, 07:55:03 AM »
Yes! Especially when the holy spirit has someone pinned against a wall.
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Offline rev45

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #9 on: February 04, 2013, 09:06:33 AM »
So Jesus didn't return riding on a white horse with a sword coming out of his mouth but rather he returned driving a black vehicle with a hatchet in his head?  Man the metaphors in the book of Revelation really are hard to decipher.
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Offline The Gawd

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #10 on: February 04, 2013, 09:08:09 AM »
We at least know this Jesus exists. Whats terrible, though, is that after he survives getting smashed with an ax several times his followers will use this as proof that he is risen.
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Offline bertatberts

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #11 on: February 04, 2013, 09:37:12 AM »
From a hammer to a hatchet, (or being nailed to being nailed) "who'd thought it"
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Offline Willie

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #12 on: February 04, 2013, 09:05:07 PM »
Here's the full unedited interview with the hippie hitchhiker guy (the 2nd video on the page):

http://www.mediaite.com/tv/must-see-amazing-interview-with-hatchet-wielding-homeless-hitchhiker-who-took-down-man-claiming-to-be-jesus/

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Offline Noman Peopled

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #13 on: February 09, 2013, 06:09:14 AM »
I gotta say this is not how I thought the second coming of Jesus would end. I guess god couldn't raise enough money for the sequel.
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Offline Nick

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #14 on: February 09, 2013, 09:22:59 AM »
The sequel is usually never as good as the original.  I don't know how Catholics are going to handle this.  The sign of the cross is easy to make .  How do you make the sign of the hatchet?
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Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

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Offline The Gawd

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #15 on: February 09, 2013, 10:27:27 AM »
symbols are soooo 1st Century. They should move on to sounds... "SMASH SMASH SMASH"
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Offline Brakeman

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Re: Jesus has returned! We atheists have egg on our faces now!
« Reply #16 on: February 09, 2013, 11:10:54 AM »
Quote from: Nick on February 09, 2013, 09:22:59 AM
The sequel is usually never as good as the original.  I don't know how Catholics are going to handle this.  The sign of the cross is easy to make .  How do you make the sign of the hatchet?

They'll probably mimic the Atlanta Braves Baseball fans. They hum and make chopping motions with their hands. Wow, won't church be obnoxious then!
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