Author Topic: God lent you his penis  (Read 212 times)

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Offline natlegend

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God lent you his penis
« on: September 08, 2014, 09:34:24 PM »
The world certainly is full of nut-jobs...

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2014/09/pastor-mark-driscoll-called-women-penis-homes.html

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The first thing to know about your penis is, that despite the way it may see, it is not your penis. Ultimately, God created you and it is his penis. You are simply borrowing it for a while.

Oooooookaaaay... so there are about 4 billion penis' currently 'on loan'...

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Knowing that His penis would need a home, God created a woman to be your wife and when you marry her and look down you will notice that your wife is shaped differently than you and makes a very nice home.

And welcome to the lunatic fringe folks!
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Offline Nam

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Re: God lent you his penis
« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2014, 10:23:32 PM »
Sometimes you can put your feet up...if she's into that.

-Nam
This thread is about lab-grown dicks, not some mincy, old, British poof of an actor. 

Let's get back on topic, please.


Offline JeffPT

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Re: God lent you his penis
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2014, 10:38:38 PM »
The world certainly is full of nut-jobs...

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2014/09/pastor-mark-driscoll-called-women-penis-homes.html

Quote
The first thing to know about your penis is, that despite the way it may see, it is not your penis. Ultimately, God created you and it is his penis. You are simply borrowing it for a while.

Oooooookaaaay... so there are about 4 billion penis' currently 'on loan'...

Quote
Knowing that His penis would need a home, God created a woman to be your wife and when you marry her and look down you will notice that your wife is shaped differently than you and makes a very nice home.

And welcome to the lunatic fringe folks!

Obviously God isn't married, else he'd know that the amount of time you spend in 'the home' after taking marraige vows drops dramatically.  We spent a lot more time 'at home' before we were married. 

Just sayin...
Whenever events that are purported to occur in our best interest are as numerous as the events that will just as soon kill us, then intent is hard, if not impossible to assert. NDT

Offline natlegend

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Re: God lent you his penis
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2014, 12:25:12 AM »
I wonder if having a rental home is okay...
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Offline One Above All

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Re: God lent you his penis
« Reply #4 on: September 09, 2014, 02:01:20 AM »
If he gave us our penises, why do theists want us to cut off the foreskin? Are they saying he got it wrong? :S
Also, if god gave me my penis and wants me to get a wife, he's really gonna be disappointed if I happen to end up with (though not marrying; marriage is dumb) a guy. Just saying. ;)
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

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Offline Mrjason

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Re: God lent you his penis
« Reply #5 on: September 09, 2014, 05:47:15 AM »
The world certainly is full of nut-jobs...


Quote
The first thing to know about your penis is, that despite the way it may see, it is not your penis. Ultimately, God created you and it is his penis. You are simply borrowing it for a while.



Thats not really borrowing though. As I understand it if you borrow something it is yours to do with as you wish until you return it. Yeah there are limitations to what you can do but those are self evident.

If you borrow a car the lender doesn't tell you where you can and can't drive it. They just expect you to drive it sensibly. Similarly if you are borrowing a penis the lender shouldn't get to dictate where you drive it just that you use it reasonably.

Offline natlegend

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Re: God lent you his penis
« Reply #6 on: September 09, 2014, 09:49:47 PM »

The world certainly is full of nut-jobs...

Quote
The first thing to know about your penis is, that despite the way it may see, it is not your penis. Ultimately, God created you and it is his penis. You are simply borrowing it for a while.

Thats not really borrowing though. As I understand it if you borrow something it is yours to do with as you wish until you return it.

God makes the rules, and they are always contrary to simple logic and common sense. Perhaps you give it back when you go to heaven?

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Offline natlegend

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Re: God lent you his penis
« Reply #7 on: September 09, 2014, 09:51:26 PM »
If he gave us our penises, why do theists want us to cut off the foreskin? Are they saying he got it wrong? :S

Exceptionally good point!
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Offline natlegend

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Re: God lent you his penis
« Reply #8 on: September 10, 2014, 12:52:49 AM »
Wait, I just re-read the article, and nowhere does it say where you should put your (on loan) penis... In your wife's ear? Her mouth???
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Offline nogodsforme

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Re: God lent you his penis
« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2014, 01:33:53 AM »
Wait, I just re-read the article, and nowhere does it say where you should put your (on loan) penis... In your wife's ear? Her mouth???


Hey, hey, hey! None of that.

Remember, your wife is your penis' double wide mobile home, or maybe your penis' mountain chalet, or maybe your penis' backyard shed. Or rental storage unit. Or underground survivalist bunker, surrounded by a crocodile moat, a big blackberry hedge and a security gate.

Or maybe, just maybe....she's a



Good luck, little soldier. God built women, but they are so damned difficult to metaphor.

(It's like a parody of a John Waters movie....)


Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.