Wait, I just re-read the article, and nowhere does it say where you should put your (on loan) penis... In your wife's ear? Her mouth???
Hey, hey, hey! None of that.
Remember, your wife is your penis' double wide mobile home, or maybe your penis' mountain chalet, or maybe your penis' backyard shed. Or rental storage unit. Or underground survivalist bunker, surrounded by a crocodile moat, a big blackberry hedge and a security gate.
Or maybe, just maybe....she's a
Good luck, little soldier. God built women, but they are so damned difficult to metaphor.
(It's like a parody of a John Waters movie....)