Author Topic: Why are there no fart jokes in the bible?  (Read 724 times)

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Offline William

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Why are there no fart jokes in the bible?
« on: January 02, 2013, 08:13:11 PM »
Answer:  Actually there was one but is dissipated quite quickly  :angel:


Quote
The traditional English interpretation has been “alighted” or “dismounted” (from her donkey), although the LXX translates “shouted” (adding that Achsah also “murmered”, in Judges).
 
However, G. R. Driver translated it as follows:
 
She broke wind … from her ass.”
 
As far as I can tell, Driver first suggested this translation in an article in a book published in 1955 (Mélanges Bibliques rédigés en l’honneur de André Robert). However, he never tired of his farting translation, and the same explanation gets a second (and third) wind in articles from 1964 (ALUOS 4: 6-25) and 1967 (JQR 57: 49-165).
 
Before you exclaim, “WTF?”, you should also know that this farting translation was then adopted by a major Bible translation: the New English Bible (NEB) (1970).
http://ntwrong.wordpress.com/2008/12/12/breaking-wind-from-your-ass/
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Offline kaziglu bey

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Re: Why are there no fart jokes in the bible?
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2013, 08:18:13 PM »
Because the people who wrote the Bible weren't sophisticated enough to develop fart jokes.
Seriously though... What would happen if the Great Green Arkleseizure didn't fram up the rammastam before the hermite curve achieved maximum nurdfurdle velocity? Now THAT would be something. AmIrite?

Offline Nick

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Re: Why are there no fart jokes in the bible?
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2013, 08:44:45 PM »
Weren't Terrance and Phillip in the bible? ;)
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

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Offline William

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Re: Why are there no fart jokes in the bible?
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2013, 09:25:44 PM »
Thanks for that Nick  ;D
That little thought will keep me chuckling next time I rip through some bible passages searching for a hint from the Spirit   ;)
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Re: Why are there no fart jokes in the bible?
« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2013, 10:20:09 PM »
My theory is that the story stinks enough as it is. No sense adding insult to injury.

Plus, as an old guy, I've no idea who Terrance and Phillip are. Can someone fill me in so I can laugh too?
Not everyone is entitled to their own opinion. They're all entitled to mine though.

Offline Skinz

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Re: Why are there no fart jokes in the bible?
« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2013, 11:38:50 PM »
Terrance and Phillip are characters from South Park. They are parodies of American fart humour, insofar as their entire existence revolves around farting and making poor quips about said farts.
"Science changes it's views based on what's observed; Religion ignores the facts so that faith may be preserved."

- Tim Minchin, Comedian.

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Re: Why are there no fart jokes in the bible?
« Reply #6 on: January 03, 2013, 12:21:44 AM »
^^Thank you Skinz.

And people tell me I'm wasting my time on the net. HA!
Not everyone is entitled to their own opinion. They're all entitled to mine though.

keeta

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Re: Why are there no fart jokes in the bible?
« Reply #7 on: January 03, 2013, 03:00:00 AM »
i dunno guys, i thought for sure there had to be some in there somewhere...every bible i ever opened smelled like there was some in it..

Offline William

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Re: Why are there no fart jokes in the bible?
« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2013, 03:14:33 AM »
Hey keeta we're only talking about the light and fluffy version in this thread.  The hard core stuff is all over the bible - they even cook with it to get a specific flavour the Lord is after:

Quote
Ezekiel 4:12-13
12 And you shall eat it as a barley cake, baking it in their sight on human dung.” 13 And the Lord said, “Thus shall the people of Israel eat their bread unclean, among the nations where I will drive them.”
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keeta

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Re: Why are there no fart jokes in the bible?
« Reply #9 on: January 03, 2013, 03:32:55 AM »
hey, i'm light an fluffy lol  :P seeeeeeee  ;D ;D ;D

Offline Nick

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Re: Why are there no fart jokes in the bible?
« Reply #10 on: January 03, 2013, 07:27:12 AM »
Hey keeta we're only talking about the light and fluffy version in this thread.  The hard core stuff is all over the bible - they even cook with it to get a specific flavour the Lord is after:

Quote
Ezekiel 4:12-13
12 And you shall eat it as a barley cake, baking it in their sight on human dung.” 13 And the Lord said, “Thus shall the people of Israel eat their bread unclean, among the nations where I will drive them.”
Damn, I hope the Lord does not open a franchise when He comes back.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

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keeta

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Re: Why are there no fart jokes in the bible?
« Reply #11 on: January 03, 2013, 01:29:36 PM »
i don't eat at chick fil-A any more than i would eat at the pooperie that He would come up with...could you imagine the line of the brainwashed  at that place!?!? you'd never get a table...

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Re: Why are there no fart jokes in the bible?
« Reply #12 on: January 03, 2013, 04:41:54 PM »
What do you mean there are no fart jokes.

There are loads, here's a good one.

NIV Numbers 11:31 Now a wind went out from the LORD and drove quail in from the sea. It brought them down all around the camp to about three feet above the ground, as far as a day's walk in any direction.

That was one hell of a smelly one, don't you think.
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Offline Nick

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Re: Why are there no fart jokes in the bible?
« Reply #13 on: January 03, 2013, 04:56:30 PM »
He had to have had Mexican the night before. ;)
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!