Author Topic: Porn  (Read 1078 times)

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Offline Petey

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Porn
« on: December 21, 2012, 03:14:11 PM »
Recently my indoctrinated-beyond-hope Christian mother accused me of having a porn addiction.  Apparently she thinks I spend too much time in the bathroom, and that was the only reason her warped mind could come up with.  My replies of pooping, reading, playing games on my phone, and just having some time alone went in one ear and out the other.  She visits a handful of times each year, and somehow knows what goes on in our house better than my wife or myself.  How sick does a person have to be to accuse their own child of something like that, especially after admitting that she has no evidence other than the frequency and length of my bathroom visits?  Guilty until proven innocent must be one of the new Fox mantras.

Personally, I think she has one of two motives behind this.  1) She wrecked her own home by having an affair, and is now resentful of those that are successful.  Or 2) Since I no longer share her religion, she assumes the worst possible because atheists are evil.

In subsequent communications, she has harped and preached about how evil, disgusting, and addictive porn is, and how it turns people into sexual deviants.  My position, of course, is that porn is just like any other addictive thing (drugs, gambling, religion, etc), in that the problem is not the thing, but the person.  Once addicted, outside help is usually needed, but I believe it's the person's fault for letting themselves become addicted in the first place.  The things that they are addicted to are completely neutral.

She has encouraged me to "do some research" about the dangers and evils of porn.  Would anyone here have any recommendations of places to start?  I'd be particularly interested in sources that contradict her view.
He never pays attention, he always knows the answer, and he can never tell you how he knows. We can't keep thrashing him. He is a bad example to the other pupils. There's no educating a smart boy.
-– Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

Offline Brakeman

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Re: Porn
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2012, 03:24:07 PM »
I would tell her that you've done lots of research.. and now you can't hardly walk!
Help find the cure for FUNDAMENTIA !

Offline Garja

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Re: Porn
« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2012, 03:40:39 PM »
Just google "porn". The research is readily at hand.
"If we look back into history for the character of the present sects in Christianity, we shall find few that have not in their turns been persecutors, and complainers of persecution."

-Benjamin Franklin

Offline bosey926

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Re: Porn
« Reply #3 on: December 21, 2012, 03:43:02 PM »
^^^Yeah, next time she says she's on her way over to share her apparent mass amount of intellect regarding sexuality with you, you and your wife start gettin' rowdy in the bedroom, and when you hear her coming in the front door, start thuddin' your wife up against the head of the bed loud and clear. 

Indoctrinated Mom walks in front door.

I.M.: "Ohhhhhhh!!!!  Lord, Jesus, what's that noise!"

Petey: "Hey ma!  Just doin' a little research!!"

Offline Nick

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Re: Porn
« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2012, 03:52:00 PM »
The mirrors on the ceiling in your bedroom might be what she is concerned about.  And, your bathroom must be way more interesting than mine. ;)

An exorcism might be in order.  Puke up some green sh*t and all should be well on her next visit.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline jetson

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Re: Porn
« Reply #5 on: December 21, 2012, 05:23:33 PM »
Buy her a vibrator, some extra batteries, and a few pron mags.  Send her on her way.   ;D

Offline Mooby

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Re: Porn
« Reply #6 on: December 21, 2012, 08:16:57 PM »
Tell her that what you do in the bathroom is none of her damn business.
"I'm doing science and I'm still alive."--J.C.

Offline Nam

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Re: Porn
« Reply #7 on: December 22, 2012, 05:02:08 AM »
Tell her you can't help it. When shit falls from your asshole, you can't help but get a hard-on[1].

-Nam
 1. too gross?
A god is like a rock: it does absolutely nothing until someone or something forces it to do something. The only capability the rock has is doing nothing until another force compels it physically to move.

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously - Humphrey

Offline TheSadCat

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Re: Porn
« Reply #8 on: December 29, 2012, 12:52:30 AM »
There is an idea of a "Cult of Macho" where men harm or degrade women because it is empowering to them. Feinberg, a moral philosopher, came up with this idea to explain that violent porn is resultant from this behavior, and doesn't cause it. Feinberg also denies that pornography as he defines it actually causes harm for women, and as such should not be criminalized (this is in the context of legal philosophy). I do not remember all the details, but I've included a link below for a little more info, and a second link that directs you to Google Books and Feinberg's chapter on "Obscenity as Pornography" in his book "Offence to Others." I'm not sure if this will help your situation as mothers tend to be very obstinate, but I hope this is helpful regardless.

http://www.oup.com/us/companion.websites/9780195342000/student_resources/partthree/chapter31/?view=usa

http://tinyurl.com/cjgt8hu

kitten

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Re: Porn
« Reply #9 on: December 29, 2012, 03:29:42 AM »
tell her that if she hadn't repressed you so much as a child, you would have gotten over your porn fixation years ago, but being that it was such a taboo at your house, you felt the need to explore it in depth, and if she is still interested in fixing those who need some education on the subject you'll invite over some guys from work and she can explain to them the evils of porn. heeheehee...

Offline JeffPT

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Re: Porn
« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2012, 11:10:26 PM »
Call her up frantic, telling her that you're palms are all covered with hair and that you're completely blind. 
Whenever events that are purported to occur in our best interest are as numerous as the events that will just as soon kill us, then intent is hard, if not impossible to assert. NDT

Offline Brakeman

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Re: Porn
« Reply #11 on: December 29, 2012, 11:43:14 PM »
Tell her that all of your bible pages are now stuck together... EW
Help find the cure for FUNDAMENTIA !

keeta

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Re: Porn
« Reply #12 on: December 30, 2012, 03:19:26 AM »
seriously laughing to tears...and yes, ewww..groosss lol

Offline kin hell

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Re: Porn
« Reply #13 on: December 30, 2012, 04:48:48 AM »
Tell her you are studying the volatility and dispersion rate of indole, skatole, and mercaptans, and the inorganic gas hydrogen sulfide.

Tell her you believe that time travel must be possible because the observed time elapsed from the moment your faeces leaves your anus until splashdown (and the instant water entombment) , is obviously too damn short to allow so much gassing off that the stink fills whatever cubic meterage of space in which the toilet lurks.

Tell her you would welcome her help in running the experiments as you are reasonably blind to your own faecal stench, but her virgin nostrils should be ideal.

Then say, "Oh wait! That wont work, 'cause you are so full of shit you bitter bitch, and so immune to it that you actually think yer shit don't stink."
 ;)
"...but on a lighter note, demons were driven from a pig today in Gloucester."  Bill Bailey

all edits are for spelling or grammar unless specified otherwise

Offline Lazarus

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Re: Porn
« Reply #14 on: January 07, 2013, 04:07:54 AM »
Why don't you send her links to studies that show access to porn actually reduces the rate of sex crimes and studies that show masturbation is healthy and normal? And tell her to mind her own damn business.

Offline Odin

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Re: Porn
« Reply #15 on: January 09, 2013, 12:13:25 AM »
She has encouraged me to "do some research" about the dangers and evils of porn.  Would anyone here have any recommendations of places to start?  I'd be particularly interested in sources that contradict her view.

I suggest you tell her that, I, Odin, King of the Gods, have been researching porn for about fifty years.  After fifty years, I am a well-adjusted, likeable, sane, heterosexual male.  I have researched porn mainly in five to ten minutes "spurts" of time.  Therefore, it's not a real time-waster.  It has never interferred with my work life, personal life, or sex life.  I see no real evils.  And, with the internet, it doesn't really cost much.

Compared to drinking alcohol, it really is not dangerous or evil.

Odin, King of the Gods

keeta

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Re: Porn
« Reply #16 on: January 09, 2013, 12:57:01 AM »
i wouldn't say anything about it...but i would start sending random packages to her, at work if she's got a job, but at home works just as well. nothing big, just like a cock ring in the first one, some fluffy handcuffs, a riding crop, "personal massagers", like once a month, just one thing...and on christmas have her open like a two headed "toy not intended for children" to open in front of everyone...no name tag...not a word..she'll keep her mouth shut about what you're doing in the bathroom.

edit:
besides, if she's getting one freaky thing in the mail a month, how freaked out is she going to be when christmas rolls around and there's a bunch of presents to unwrap in front of family and friends lol she'll be so scared to open any present, for the rest of her life she'll assume every gift will have a naughty something in it... damn i'm good ;) and yes, it's worth the expense when someone's that big of a pain in the ass about it.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2013, 01:10:43 AM by keeta »