Author Topic: ? [#2695]  (Read 797 times)

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Offline pianodwarf

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? [#2695]
« on: December 13, 2012, 05:15:17 PM »
"I, Jesus, have decided to love you. That decision is infinite. It is filled with all the ramifications of eternity. It is a decision that never wavers.I always follow through on My Love Decision even if it does not feel like it. My Love does not depend on feelings. It is there through emptiness, through fullness, in all the variations in between. I share My Love emotionally at times or when it is in your best interests I give My Love, but you may not be aware of it".



"I desire to have a deep loving personal relationship with each soul because I created you as an extension of My love. Once you are with Me in heaven, you will experience such a personal love for Me that you will even become one with Me. This life is a test of your faith in Me, and a place to work on perfecting your love for Me. Every time that you visit Me in Adoration or receive Me in Holy Communion, you have a small taste of heaven, and My deep personal love for you.”



“When I ask you to pray I simply ask you to confide in Me, in your own simple words. In your own way. In your private thoughts. I hear everything. I see all. I feel what you feel. I am with each of you standing beside you, just waiting for the day when you will finally surrender to My Call.You have nothing to fear from Me for My Love for you will overcome any darkness, which keeps you distant from Me”.



Jesus Christ
[On how kangaroos could have gotten back to Australia after the flood]:  Don't kangaroos skip along the surface of the water? --Kenn

Offline jetson

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2012, 06:51:45 PM »
I sent you a letter, and you have not answered me.  Please do so, and I will consider your other stuff.

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2012, 07:13:22 PM »
"I, Jesus, have decided to love you. That decision is infinite. It is filled with all the ramifications of eternity. It is a decision that never wavers.I always follow through on My Love Decision even if it does not feel like it. My Love does not depend on feelings. It is there through emptiness, through fullness, in all the variations in between. I share My Love emotionally at times or when it is in your best interests I give My Love, but you may not be aware of it".

Well, this is awkward. We'll ignore the part where I'm a guy and you're against that though.

Since you've decided to love me, that indicates that there are others that you decide not to love. What could I do to stop you from making the offer. Given that I'm not interested, even if you're real. And of course, you're not.

And eternity? I can't stand watching a hour of any given reality show. Why would I want to spend an eternity in some undefined place that you insist is wonderful but for which you will not provide a description. Frankly, it doesn't sound the least bit interesting. Especially if you're guessing that I will love it. Because you haven't been right about anything else regarding me.

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"I desire to have a deep loving personal relationship with each soul because I created you as an extension of My love. Once you are with Me in heaven, you will experience such a personal love for Me that you will even become one with Me. This life is a test of your faith in Me, and a place to work on perfecting your love for Me. Every time that you visit Me in Adoration or receive Me in Holy Communion, you have a small taste of heaven, and My deep personal love for you.”

Now wait a minute. You just said you have "decided" to love me in the first paragraph, and now you are telling me that you desire to have a deep loving personal relationship with each soul. Which is it? If there are decisions to be made, it seems like some would be rejected. If you love each soul, then there should be no need for you to decide.

And how special is love if you have it for absolutely everyone. The love I have in my life for other humans is special because I don't apply it to everyone. I'm nice and all to as many people as I can be, but I don't love everyone. And you're going to have to do a lot of explaining before I accept that you love us all. I've known dozens of people in my life who pleaded with you to help them since you have said that you love them, and their kids still died of cancer or they still had to have a leg amputated or they still died while lost in a snowstorm (I'm assuming that the last one prayed to you since he was an avid churchgoer. I wasn't there to be with him or help him or he would have lived, because I was familiar with the area where he got lost and I would have been able to save him.)

I, on the other hand, an atheist for over 50 years, am healthy. I take no meds, I need no doctors, I work every day experience only slightly more discomfort in the evening than I felt when I did the same thing 20 years ago. I can still hike in the mountains and run across a parking lot in the rain. Why am I doing fine when so many of the devoutly religious people I know are dead, many of them suffering greatly via cancer, strokes, accidents and the like. You claim to be this great and loving being, and you didn't protect them from jackshit while here I sit, not wanting a second of your love, even if you are real, and I'm doing fine. Your priorities are frickin' strange. And unwelcome. If you're real. Which of course you're not.

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“When I ask you to pray I simply ask you to confide in Me, in your own simple words. In your own way. In your private thoughts. I hear everything. I see all. I feel what you feel. I am with each of you standing beside you, just waiting for the day when you will finally surrender to My Call.You have nothing to fear from Me for My Love for you will overcome any darkness, which keeps you distant from Me”.

Having not needed prayer so far in my life, and not expecting to live so much longer that I need to go bananas in the fruity for Jesus movement, I see no reason to start now. I have no darkness. And any distance the two of us experience from each other is all your fault, given that you don't actually exist.

Some crackpot who knows how to spell the english variant of your name does though.

Quote
Jesus Christ

That guy.
Not everyone is entitled to their own opinion. They're all entitled to mine though.

Offline Nick

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2012, 09:23:18 PM »
Well, Jesus Christ, it is about time you showed up.Many of us here have been asking for You to do this for years.  I have to say, this form of communication is much better than trying to get our attention with killing storms, earthquakes, starving kids in poor countries, and on toast.  But this love stuff is a little much don't You think?  Kind of creepy actually.  Odd way to treat Your creatures if You ask me.

Now that I have Your ear...You do have an ear?  Right?  Of course You do being in our image and all.  Ok, a few questions if You don't mind. (1 what was the thing with the apple and talking snake?  Is that the best You could do?  (2)Why did You have to die for something You set in motion Yourself.  That really is kind of silly...right?  (3)  Is Tim Tebow really your favorite quarterback? (4)  I guess you thought Romney was full of sh*t also...he lost You know. and last (5) can I get the correct #s for the next Powerball drawing?

I have lots more to talk to You about but hey...some of us have to make a living.  Pop back in sometime so we can talk.  Our forum is back up.  Can you jhelp fix that for good and join while you are at it.   Love Nick...but not in a creepy way.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline kin hell

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2012, 02:31:04 AM »
Are you a mac, windows or linux user?
Are you a max, pain, bore lyin suck loser?

Are you still cross?
I regret I was not there to see them de-nail you and you flap around the landscape like a balloon deflating...
Did you make that attendant extended fart noise?
What am I asking?
Of course you did.  I just read it.
"...but on a lighter note, demons were driven from a pig today in Gloucester."  Bill Bailey

all edits are for spelling or grammar unless specified otherwise

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #5 on: December 14, 2012, 05:59:42 AM »
Is it really you, JC? Come on, quit fooling around and show yourself.

Offline Anfauglir

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2012, 09:47:47 AM »
Quote from: Jesuslink=topic=24122.msg537275#msg537275 date=1355436917
I desire to have a deep loving personal relationship.....

Good for you.  Step one is to actually come make contact with me.

There is, quite literally, NO other circumstance where someone would express the feeling they "desire a deep loving personal relationship" with someone (and expect to be believed).......but express that feeling once, through another person, before they were born, and without addressing their intended by name.  Especially if, when the other person in the intended relationship says "sure, let's meet up", nothing else happens.

Seriously, poster.  Is there a human being you really love?  Would you have thought that the best way to begin a relationship with them was to get someone else to say "my friend really likes you", and then NOT make one single further attempt to contact them?  Not knock at their door, not ring them up, but do precisely nothing after that one first message?

You need to do better than that.  Anyone professing the desire for a deep, loving, personal relationship with me needs to do something to show ME that they really want it before I will believe it is so.
Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.
Why is it so hard for believers to answer a direct question?

Offline Aaron123

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #7 on: December 14, 2012, 10:53:22 AM »
Quote
“When I ask you to pray I simply ask you to confide in Me, in your own simple words. In your own way. In your private thoughts. I hear everything. I see all. I feel what you feel. I am with each of you standing beside you, just waiting for the day when you will finally surrender to My Call.You have nothing to fear from Me for My Love for you will overcome any darkness, which keeps you distant from Me”.


"Surrender" to your call?

Interesting choice of word.
Being a Christian, I've made my decision. That decision offers no compromise; therefore, I'm closed to anything else.

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #8 on: December 14, 2012, 11:36:22 AM »
By the way, to be in a loving relationship, it really helps to be lovable. Which kind of requires ones presence.

I've been here for 60+ years. Where have you been?

You're the one playing hide and seek, jc. Don't be so frickin' perplexed about the failure of your schemes.
Not everyone is entitled to their own opinion. They're all entitled to mine though.

Offline hickdive

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2012, 12:05:15 PM »
Ah, Christ, do come in and sit down.

I'm glad you're here because I've been reviewing your report card and I have to say I'm rather disappointed. The best anyone can say about you on any topic is, "could do better". Indeed, in mathemics I see you've been leading your chums astray by insisting that pi is, in fact, three.

Biology doesn't seem to be your forte either. Rabbits chewing the cud, really Christ?

I could go on because it seems that in every endeavour you undertake there is either a serious lack of effort or a unwarranted level of flippancy. I can't begin to explain how upset the Social Studies department was with your idea of burning unbelievers for all eternity. I assume that was an attempt at humour.

Anyway, Christ it's no use blaming your parents, oh and nurse will be having a little chat with you about the birds and the bees later, your father sent you here with the express purpose of fulfilling his prophecies and upholding his laws.

So, me laddo, time to buck up your ideas, pull your socks up and knuckle down to some serious work, none of this water-into-wine tomfoolery. We don't want the woodworking department to get involved again would we?

Right, back to whatever it was you were doing; off you fuck.
Stupidity, unlike intelligence, has no limits.

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #10 on: December 14, 2012, 01:52:30 PM »
Wow, creepy letter Jesus. Do you realize that you sound like a stalker?
"It's hard to, but I'm starting to believe some of you actually believe these things.  That is completely beyond my ability to understand if that is really the case, but things never cease to amaze me."

Offline Emily

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #11 on: December 14, 2012, 05:45:38 PM »
eeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm not convinced. What else you go?!
"Great moments are born from great opportunities." Herb Brooks

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Offline Nam

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #12 on: December 14, 2012, 11:01:12 PM »
OP,

Why weren't you there for the 20 children in Connecticut?

Were they all heathens?

You're full of shit.

Case closed.

-Nam
This thread is about lab-grown dicks, not some mincy, old, British poof of an actor. 

Let's get back on topic, please.


Offline Astreja

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #13 on: December 15, 2012, 01:57:09 AM »
Quote from: Pretend Jesus
Once you are with Me in heaven, you will experience such a personal love for Me that you will even become one with Me.

Wait, what?  I don't actually get a choice in whether or not I want to love *you*?  So much for that 'free will' shit.

Sod off, you narcissistic loser... And take this junk with you.  (Springy G flings a handful of rusty nails at the OP, causing him to beat a hasty retreat)
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Offline Add Homonym

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #14 on: December 16, 2012, 07:43:59 AM »
"I, Jesus, have decided to love you.

Jesus is DEAD, dude. Get a grip.
Humans, in general, don't waste any opportunity to be unfathomably stupid - Dr Cynical.

Offline Hatter23

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #15 on: December 19, 2012, 09:50:49 AM »
Why would an omnipotent God need someone pretending to be his son via email to communicate with me?

Here's a thought, stop by and make your presence known in tangible form, shouldn't be difficult for an Omnipotent being.
An Omnipowerful God needed to sacrifice himself to himself (but only for a long weekend) in order to avert his own wrath against his own creations who he made in a manner knowing that they weren't going to live up to his standards.

And you should feel guilty for this. Give me money.

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #16 on: December 19, 2012, 07:28:17 PM »
"I, Jesus, have decided to love you. That decision is infinite.

Consider,
"He gave a short decision." i.e. what he said was brief and then he decided.
"He gave a long decision" i.e. He talked and explained a lot and then decided.
"He gave an infinite decision." Well, this would go on for ever and ever... in fact it would never end and thus we would never know the decision... whatever it was.

Quote
It is filled with all the ramifications of eternity.

Tell me, can you fill something that is infinite?

Nobody says “There are many things that we thought were natural processes, but now know that a god did them.”

Offline Quesi

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #17 on: December 19, 2012, 07:30:44 PM »
God as micromanager.  One of our many popular deity myths. 

Offline jaimehlers

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Re: ? [#2695]
« Reply #18 on: December 19, 2012, 08:00:33 PM »
I guess someone thought Jesus needed a ghostwriter.