Author Topic: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!  (Read 1181 times)

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Offline ParkingPlaces

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According to this guy, you can't be a christian if you don't own a gun. And I never have...

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/10/25/former-republican-official-you-cant-be-a-christian-if-you-dont-own-a-gun/

I'm guessing there was a translation error. It is very probable that one of the ten commandments is actually "Shoot thy neighbor".

Or something like that.

When are these guys going to figure out that a caricature is something based on real life? It is not real life itself.

Jesus, the cracker flavored treat!

Offline Emily

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2012, 01:26:15 PM »
Whoa, that guy is pissed.

“You have not just a right not bear arms, you have a duty. How can you protect yourself, your family or your neighbor if you don’t have a gun? If I’m supposed to love my neighbor and I can’t protect him, what good am I?”

A baseball bat? There are many ways. Just get creative. My favorite is the good old fashion 911 call.

Believe me sir, if i had a gun I'd probably harm myself somehow, and not intentional. I'm just not responsible, so it's best that I don't own one.
"Great moments are born from great opportunities." Herb Brooks

I edit a lot of my posts. The reason being it to add content or to correct grammar/wording. All edits to remove wording get a strike through through the wording.

Offline ParkingPlaces

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2012, 01:47:05 PM »
Irony is just no fun if the folks experiencing it aren't smart enough to know what it is.

There are people who would like to shoot me because I, as an atheist, am not moral.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA----BANG!

Jesus, the cracker flavored treat!

Offline Nick

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2012, 01:47:27 PM »
It's true.  Jesus always carried.  Except for that one time in the garden when Judus kissed him.  Damn, what could have been if Jesus was packing heat that night.

It's official, the "right" has gone in a whole new direction of crazy.  Rape is a "gift" from God and "shoot em up" is  duty to God.

Canada may even be to close to move to.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline Nam

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2012, 02:01:58 PM »
Wasn't there a Republican from some state awhile back who tried to put legislation through making it so everyone had to buy a gun or they would have to pay a hefty fine and/or go to prison?

Do Republicans understand that they are closer to Communism than Democrats are?

-Nam
« Last Edit: October 26, 2012, 03:08:44 PM by Nam »
This thread is about lab-grown dicks, not some mincy, old, British poof of an actor. 

Let's get back on topic, please.


Offline ParkingPlaces

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2012, 02:23:51 PM »
I'm pretty sure that there are real live commies who are looking at republicans proclamations like this and saying "Why the heck didn't I think of that."

Jesus, the cracker flavored treat!

Offline nogodsforme

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #6 on: October 26, 2012, 02:55:20 PM »
Guns cost like $500 bucks. Are they going to give us government vouchers to help pay for them? Or will they just give tax money directly to the gun shops to hand them out for free? Free health care? Hell no! Free guns? Hell yes!

I can't believe I just typed that.
Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.

Offline Backspace

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #7 on: October 26, 2012, 02:58:37 PM »
C'mon people, get current with your gun-totin' scripture!  :angel:

When a strong man, fully armed, guards his estate, his possessions are secure. Luke 11:21 HCSB[1]

Quote
These are not the words of a first century NRA but rather those of Jesus himself.

http://backcountrychaplain.com/2011/11/21/would-jesus-join-the-nra-the-daily-devotion-for-november-21/

Praise Jeebus, and pass the ammunition - preferably FMJ hollowpoints
 1. Holman Christian Standard Bible
« Last Edit: October 26, 2012, 03:00:55 PM by Backspace »
There is no opinion so absurd that a preacher could not express it.
-- Bernie Katz

Offline shnozzola

Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #8 on: October 26, 2012, 03:01:36 PM »
Irony is just no fun if the folks experiencing it aren't smart enough to know what it is.

Oh - PP, can I use that as a future signature?  <right here would be a bowing smiley face>
“The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something."  ~ T. H. White
  The real holy trinity:  onion, celery, and bell pepper ~  all Cajun Chefs

Offline ParkingPlaces

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #9 on: October 26, 2012, 03:04:57 PM »
Well, since we're supposed to be a part of a constantly ready militia, there is no reason the military couldn't just issue all of us one of these:



Think about how many kids I could keep of the lawn with one of those babies.

AND I could start going to church. Wowsers!

Oh, and shnozzola, of course. Just keep it anonymous. Those unsmart folks own things like what I've pictured above.  ;D

Jesus, the cracker flavored treat!

Offline Backspace

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #10 on: October 26, 2012, 03:12:12 PM »
Parkingplaces, that's so 20th century.  Here's what every modern Christ-loving NRA member wants...

There is no opinion so absurd that a preacher could not express it.
-- Bernie Katz

Offline Nam

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #11 on: October 26, 2012, 03:12:14 PM »
I want a P-90[1].

-Nam
 1. do those even exist? They looked really cool on SG-1.
This thread is about lab-grown dicks, not some mincy, old, British poof of an actor. 

Let's get back on topic, please.


Offline rev45

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #12 on: October 26, 2012, 03:31:33 PM »
Who or what am I supposed to protect against?
Grandma?  Right hook to the face baby!!
Armed thugs?  Yea a gun would be nice.
The Russians?  I'm gonna need some tanks and jets.  At least one for me, my wife, and my two kids.

I'd actually fear more an armed religious person who is "doing what God is telling his heart to do."
Here read a book.  It's free.
http://www.literatureproject.com/

Could a being create the fifty billion galaxies, each with two hundred billion stars, then rejoice in the smell of burning goat flesh?   Ron Patterson

Offline Backspace

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #13 on: October 26, 2012, 03:45:42 PM »
Who or what am I supposed to protect against?

Yur fellow man -- he's evil don't ya know?  Says so rat thar in da Bable.

I'd actually fear more an armed religious person who is "doing what God is telling his heart to do."

I couldn't agree more.
There is no opinion so absurd that a preacher could not express it.
-- Bernie Katz

Offline Ambassador Pony

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #14 on: October 26, 2012, 05:37:56 PM »
I want a P-90[1].

-Nam
 1. do those even exist? They looked really cool on SG-1.

Yes. Yes, they do.
You believe evolution and there is no evidence for that. Where is the fossil record of a half man half ape. I've only ever heard about it in reading.

Offline Nam

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #15 on: October 26, 2012, 06:29:55 PM »
Then I want one. Give me a P-90.

-Nam
This thread is about lab-grown dicks, not some mincy, old, British poof of an actor. 

Let's get back on topic, please.


Offline Garja

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #16 on: October 26, 2012, 07:30:53 PM »
I feel woefully under-armed at this point!  I am likely one of the few on this board that DO own a gun.  Nothing crazy, just enough to put a hole in anyone to decides to attempt a break in.... or if I want to go squirrel hunting.... hate those little bastards.

"If we look back into history for the character of the present sects in Christianity, we shall find few that have not in their turns been persecutors, and complainers of persecution."

-Benjamin Franklin

Offline nogodsforme

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #17 on: October 26, 2012, 07:34:22 PM »
Looks like Garja is really happy to see us.
Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.

Offline Garja

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #18 on: October 26, 2012, 07:45:07 PM »
So happy it wont even fit in my pocket!
"If we look back into history for the character of the present sects in Christianity, we shall find few that have not in their turns been persecutors, and complainers of persecution."

-Benjamin Franklin

Offline Poseidon

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #19 on: October 26, 2012, 08:45:26 PM »
That guy is really animated isn't he? He is also a raving maniac who needs some serious counseling by a court appointed psychotherapist.

Offline Chronos

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #20 on: October 27, 2012, 06:18:28 AM »


"In the worst case scenario you can always poke someone with it and fuck their shit up."
John 14:2 :: In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

Offline Chronos

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #21 on: October 27, 2012, 06:20:33 AM »
According to this guy, you can't be a christian if you don't own a gun ...


Our formerly great Christian universities have become perverted factories of unfaithfulness.”


^ Now that's how you court the education vote.
John 14:2 :: In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

Offline Graybeard

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #22 on: October 27, 2012, 03:12:29 PM »
According to this guy, you can't be a christian if you don't own a gun. And I never have...
I fear for the Bible Belt - it may already be too late for some states.

Why has this man not been carted away to the squirrel farm?

You see this is the trouble - all that is required is one madman and that little wormhole in reality to allow the suspension of belief and, lo and behold, it's the massacre of the Amalkelites and the Midianites all over again.
Nobody says “There are many things that we thought were natural processes, but now know that a god did them.”

Offline Nick

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Re: Finally! Now I know why I'm not a christian. I'm not allowed to be!
« Reply #23 on: October 27, 2012, 03:22:07 PM »
Squirrels don't want him around.  He has a gun.  It use to be we ignored people like this.  Now they are getting power.  It's scary out there.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!