Mr. Blackwell - I'm sorry about your experience.
I didn't exactly mean to be projecting. it's true the MY
sexuality is more emotional than I think any other mammal's on the planet, (by a lot) - but I think that could be true even if I was a guy, I'd just be even more of a freak as a guy than I am as a woman.
I was thinking more of studies like this one:http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2003/06/030613075252.htm
which suggest that women are actually physically aroused by either sex, while men really tend to fit, in terms of basic physical arousal, into one camp or the other.
It was my own leap to say, though, that women end up making this choice emotionally (as opposed to physically) - they may make it based on the earning potential of the guy or something. I certainly do. I can be physically aroused by a wide range of people (male/female, short/tall, whatever ethnicity) - but I have to feel a pretty significant connection with them emotionally.
I tend to think that this is true in terms of things other than sexual orientation - that men are much more likely to have a physical "type" than women are.
I'm sorry that you've been used, and I have to wonder if it was really for sex. Not that I think all women are above that, just, again, in my experience, women's sexuality is more complicated - it's more difficult to make love to a woman in a way she will find satisfying, especially the first or second time. I think some women engage in casual sex to boost their egos or something? I don't know, it's amazingly far from my experience.