Author Topic: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!  (Read 1009 times)

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Offline jedweber

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Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« on: October 01, 2012, 10:29:34 AM »
Quote
Daystar, TBN ready for Messiah in Jerusalem
The Christian TV broadcasters both have their offices set up on a holy city hill, poised for Jesus, and are spreading the gospel to Jews in Israel.

JERUSALEM — If the Messiah descends from the Mount of Olives as foretold in the Bible, America's two biggest Christian broadcasters are well-positioned to cover it live thanks to recent acquisitions of adjacent Jerusalem studios on a hill overlooking the Old City.

Texas-based Daystar Television Network already beams a 24-hour-a-day live webcam from its terrace. Not to be outdone, Costa Mesa-based Trinity Broadcasting Network last month bought the building next door.
...
http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-israel-evangelical-20121001,0,6110978.story

Will this become the longest-running and most boring reality show ever as nothing happens?

On the other hand, the article says they're also trying to convert the Jews while they're there...




Offline Aaron123

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Re: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2012, 11:16:55 AM »
Remember how they used to say Seinfeld was a show about nothing...?
Being a Christian, I've made my decision. That decision offers no compromise; therefore, I'm closed to anything else.

Offline Nick

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Re: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« Reply #2 on: October 01, 2012, 11:17:12 AM »
They should set up one of those count down clocks.  Foolish Christians.  I'd be pissed if I were a Jew.  I wonder if they will cut to commercial if Mohamman shows up instead?
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

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Offline HAL

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Re: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« Reply #3 on: October 01, 2012, 11:30:16 AM »
That's stupid.

Everyone knows supernatural beings won't show up on any type of camera system.

Offline Seppuku

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Re: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« Reply #4 on: October 01, 2012, 11:30:30 AM »
Soo...it's Christian Seinfeld?

Well I'm not a Christian and I don't like Seinfeld. I wonder who can guess what I won't be watching?

I suppose it might be priceless to see the look on their faces when they realise Jesus ain't coming. In fact, they should just have Seinfeld appear in a Jesus outfit.
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Offline pianodwarf

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Re: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« Reply #5 on: October 01, 2012, 11:34:21 AM »
Soo...it's Christian Seinfeld?

I guess.  We'll probably have a Salvation Nazi instead of a Soup Nazi.  "No salvation for you!!"
[On how kangaroos could have gotten back to Australia after the flood]:  Don't kangaroos skip along the surface of the water? --Kenn

Offline Backspace

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Re: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« Reply #6 on: October 01, 2012, 12:26:51 PM »
They should set up one of those count down clocks. 

More like a count up clock:  2,456,201 days and counting...
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Online jaimehlers

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Re: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« Reply #7 on: October 01, 2012, 12:39:01 PM »
Are people seriously stupid enough to fall for this?

...don't answer that.

Offline stuffin

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Re: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« Reply #8 on: October 01, 2012, 09:21:43 PM »
They should set up one of those count down clocks. 

More like a count up clock:  2,456,201 days and counting...

That was what i was thinking. 


That's stupid.

Everyone knows supernatural beings won't show up on any type of camera system.

You got that right, anyone who watches Ghost Hunters knows that. Now what they need is one of those extra sensitive radiation frequency, motion detecting, spirit sensing, high bi-polar field, parabolic inducing cameras (ESRFMDSSHBPPIC for short). Then they might catch a glimpse of HIM.
When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

Offline Nick

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Re: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« Reply #9 on: October 01, 2012, 09:23:39 PM »
How do they know what to look for?  Will it be a "white" guy with long hair and a beard?  Damn hippy. ;)
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

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Offline Garja

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Re: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« Reply #10 on: October 01, 2012, 09:54:44 PM »
How do they know what to look for?  Will it be a "white" guy with long hair and a beard?  Damn hippy. ;)

What else would he look like?  Ive seen the pictures.... checkmate Atheists.
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Offline 12 Monkeys

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Re: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« Reply #11 on: October 02, 2012, 06:25:54 PM »
That's stupid.

Everyone knows supernatural beings won't show up on any type of camera system.
Bigfoot and the Loch Ness monster are living proof of that  &)
There's no right there's no wrong,there's just popular opinion (Brad Pitt as Jeffery Goines in 12 monkeys)

Offline ParkingPlaces

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Re: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« Reply #12 on: October 02, 2012, 10:59:38 PM »
Why the hell can't they do something useful, like start a program called "Holy crap, I hope I'm right", where they discuss their feeble thoughts on camera. Not the bible, but why they believe that crap.

I'm running out of patience. At least in the states, too many people with single digit IQ's are trying to explain away everything real and institute their fairy tale as as replacement. We've got to stop laughing at their crap and start shoving it down their throats. I, for one, have decided to stop being a nice atheist when confronted with theistic stupidity.

Entire TV stations dedicated to something that never happened and never will happen? It's like 24/7 re-runs of "Murder She Wrote", without the realistic scenarios.

Forty years lost in the desert, thousands of years lost in their egos. What's next? Our only hope is that some believer sees the face of jesus in a sewage sludge pond and they all jump in to join him.

Jesus, the cracker flavored treat!

Offline jedweber

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Re: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« Reply #13 on: October 03, 2012, 07:36:10 AM »
Here's a link to one of the live cams:

http://www.daystar.com/israel/live/

Jesus would have to make a very splashy entrance to be noticed in that long shot. I guess they're expecting a fiery chariot, hosts of angels, etc...

Offline HAL

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Re: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« Reply #14 on: October 03, 2012, 07:53:52 AM »
Jesus would have to make a very splashy entrance to be noticed in that long shot. I guess they're expecting a fiery chariot, hosts of angels, etc...

Oh, what might happen is Jeebus & Co. will emanate such a strong light across the spectrum that it will burn out the CCD.

But, really, I think Jeebus doesn't wish to be on video so they are actually stopping him from coming back as long as that cam is running.

Offline jedweber

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Re: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« Reply #15 on: October 03, 2012, 08:27:53 AM »
I think Jeebus doesn't wish to be on video so they are actually stopping him from coming back as long as that cam is running.

They probably wouldn't mind that; they could keep running their business.

I bet deep down inside these guys suspect that if Jesus really did come back, he would have no truck with slimy, money-grubbing televangelists...


Offline Nick

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Re: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« Reply #16 on: October 03, 2012, 10:05:57 AM »
Why the hell can't they do something useful, like start a program called "Holy crap, I hope I'm right", where they discuss their feeble thoughts on camera. Not the bible, but why they believe that crap.

I'm running out of patience. At least in the states, too many people with single digit IQ's are trying to explain away everything real and institute their fairy tale as as replacement. We've got to stop laughing at their crap and start shoving it down their throats. I, for one, have decided to stop being a nice atheist when confronted with theistic stupidity.

Entire TV stations dedicated to something that never happened and never will happen? It's like 24/7 re-runs of "Murder She Wrote", without the realistic scenarios.

Forty years lost in the desert, thousands of years lost in their egos. What's next? Our only hope is that some believer sees the face of jesus in a sewage sludge pond and they all jump in to join him.
Or feed a hungry kid somewhere.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline IAmFirst

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Re: Christian TV Networks Set to Broadcast the Second Coming Live!
« Reply #17 on: October 04, 2012, 04:34:35 AM »
Why the hell can't they do something useful, like start a program called "Holy crap, I hope I'm right", where they discuss their feeble thoughts on camera. Not the bible, but why they believe that crap.

I'm running out of patience. At least in the states, too many people with single digit IQ's are trying to explain away everything real and institute their fairy tale as as replacement. We've got to stop laughing at their crap and start shoving it down their throats. I, for one, have decided to stop being a nice atheist when confronted with theistic stupidity.

Entire TV stations dedicated to something that never happened and never will happen? It's like 24/7 re-runs of "Murder She Wrote", without the realistic scenarios.

Forty years lost in the desert, thousands of years lost in their egos. What's next? Our only hope is that some believer sees the face of jesus in a sewage sludge pond and they all jump in to join him.

I wish they had tried to jump inside the dog's ass that resembled Jesus last year. They probably had their own translation of the whole "eye of a needle" thing. Like, "Yeah, Bubba, pray hard and we'll fit!" :D
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