Penis Power vs Vagina Power - MUST SEE TV

[Chronos]

Courtesy of Roger Ebert ...




we can hear a lecture about Penis Power:

[Mr. Blackwell]

 

[jetson]

I made it to 4:16.  Do I get a prize?  In the mean time, I'm going to go measure the temperature of my penis - I'm just curious.   

[Kimberly]

^ You missed the laugh at 9:08 so no prize for you.

That woman ... she is on point several times but then she comes to the wrong conclusions. Basically the point should have been make sure you define the boundaries in your relationship through communication so that no one gets hurt. All that other hoopla was just a scorn woman ranting.

[jetson]

All that other hoopla was just a scorn woman ranting.

Well said, something I noticed but forgot to articulate.  Now - back to 9:08 for the laugh...

[Kimberly]

Now - back to 9:08 for the laugh...

You can only truly enjoy the hoopla if you get to hear the laugh at the end. Priceless.

[Quesi]

You know, each of us has had a unique set of life experiences, and my life experiences and personal relationships have not been like hers.  But I think that women, especially young women, benefit from hearing a wide range of perspectives and a wide range of personal experiences. 

I love hearing women talk about sex.  Good sex.  Bad sex.  Unfulfilled desires.  Been there, done that.  Sex in the context of relationships and sex just for the sake of sex.  Sexual hopes.  Sexual regrets.  Personal turn ons and turn offs and quirks.  Conquests and failures and fantasies fulfilled.

Men tend to dominate most of society's discussion on sex, and much of the discussion fails to create a portrait of a reality that I am familiar with. (Actually, a whole lot of what men say about women's sexuality leaves me shaking my head.)  But women's honest voices, even if they do not portray a reality that I am familiar with, are always a welcome contribution to our understanding of ourselves as sexual beings.

I loved it. 

Thanks for sharing. 

[Graybeard]

She can talk, can't she? I may comment later when my ears stop bleeding.

[Chronos]

Quesi,

I was unable to tell if this TV show was a serious lecture or if she was playing the straight man (woman) to her own comedy routine.

If it was serious,  then perhaps black women don't communicate verbally with their partners because there were certainly multiple mentions of women having full mouths. Obviously, she has her own track record. So maybe the lengthy description of physical pleasures is how black women learn to control themselves.

I do think she should have provided some birth control information.


Otherwise, dunno.

[Brakeman]

Men tend to dominate most of society's discussion on sex, and much of the discussion fails to create a portrait of a reality that I am familiar with. (Actually, a whole lot of what men say about women's sexuality leaves me shaking my head.)

I honestly don't understand what you're trying to say here. If this is a reference to the screed that one finds on bathroom walls, then you must know that this is from from a very thin slice of men in the world.

A hetero male's greatest fear is not satisfying a woman in his bed. To this end he may bluster to cover his hidden fear, but that should be rather clear.

Could you explain your comment a bit more?

[MadBunny]

That was...

I'm not sure really.

[Quesi]

Quesi,

I was unable to tell if this TV show was a serious lecture or if she was playing the straight man (woman) to her own comedy routine.

Really?  I think she had one very simple, very clear message.  Some men are good in bed, but are really assholes.  Don’t fall for them.  Great sex is great, but if you let great sex lead you into bad relationships, you’ll regret it. 

I thought her narrative had humor, but it was honest and real and explicit and personal and sex positive.  She is a woman who loves great sex, and has clearly entered into and maintained destructive relationships because she didn’t want to lose the great sex.  She speaks, from personal experience, (and I assume is also drawing on similar experiences from other women who she knows) about really poor life choices that were based on primal urges rather than rational thought. 

It is also just really fun to listen to her talk about the wondrous complexity of her orgasms. 

Men tend to dominate most of society's discussion on sex, and much of the discussion fails to create a portrait of a reality that I am familiar with. (Actually, a whole lot of what men say about women's sexuality leaves me shaking my head.)

I honestly don't understand what you're trying to say here. If this is a reference to the screed that one finds on bathroom walls, then you must know that this is from from a very thin slice of men in the world.

A hetero male's greatest fear is not satisfying a woman in his bed. To this end he may bluster to cover his hidden fear, but that should be rather clear.

Could you explain your comment a bit more?

I don’t even know where to begin.  I think I’m going to have to give this a little thought before I answer completely.  Let me start out by saying that when I hear the way men often talk about women’s sexuality, the assumptions that they make, and when I see the way the media portrays women’s sexuality, there seem to be more caricatures than portraits of reality.  In spite of amazing progress in the past century, women are still often viewed as, and portrayed as, whores and madonnas and bitches and bimbos and ice queens.  I spoke about this in another thread, but I have a real pet peeve when I see images of women who are supposed to be sexy, but whose bodies are contorted into some unnatural, uncomfortable position.  It really pisses me off.  I just want to jump up and down and scream “that is not what a woman looks like when she feels sexy!”  And what a disservice these images do to men!  They are fed false images of women’s sexuality, and then when they see the real thing, sometimes they don’t even recognize it. 

In terms of male insecurity about female sexuality, I always feel that open, honest communication is the key.  And the open, honest communication is going to vary widely from woman to woman.  Some women feel comfortable talking as explicitly as this woman does, while others prefer more subtle hints.  And the answer that you got last week might not necessarily be the right answer this evening.  Emotions play a huge role.  But beyond that, the physical aspect of female sexuality is just so damn complex.    It is just in the past couple of years that we have even discovered the actual size and shape and capacity of the internal clitoris. Did you know that the clitoris actually hugs and wraps around the vaginal canal?????  I didn’t know that myself until recently, and I’ve got both a vagina and an amazingly complex internal clitoris.  And it moves up and down, too.  For years, sex positive women (and their partners) were looking for the right “spot.”  But there is no universal right spot.  It varies from woman to woman, and for individual women, it is not always the same.  Look at this great site.  Scroll down and look at the big image right before the video.  I look at that image and say OH!  NOW I get it.   http://blog.museumofsex.com/the-internal-clitoris/

And I have no idea if I came anywhere near answering your question. 

[Brakeman]

Let me start out by saying that when I hear the way men often talk about women’s sexuality, the assumptions that they make, and when I see the way the media portrays women’s sexuality, there seem to be more caricatures than portraits of reality.  In spite of amazing progress in the past century, women are still often viewed as, and portrayed as, whores and madonnas and bitches and bimbos and ice queens.  I spoke about this in another thread, but I have a real pet peeve when I see images of women who are supposed to be sexy, but whose bodies are contorted into some unnatural, uncomfortable position.  It really pisses me off.  I just want to jump up and down and scream “that is not what a woman looks like when she feels sexy!”  And what a disservice these images do to men!  They are fed false images of women’s sexuality, and then when they see the real thing, sometimes they don’t even recognize it.  ..

And I have no idea if I came anywhere near answering your question.

Interesting post, but although I know you have to greatly generalize male attitudes towards women, or perhaps their objectification of women, I don't think you have explained where they are wrong.

Just guessing that for my age group I'm not statistically abnormal, I don't think of women in terms of "bitch, whore, slut, or Ice Queen" as you stated. Perhaps this is more common in teenagers or the immature, but none of the many dozens of men that I see every day speak like that unless they are angry and are looking for words to denigrate a particular woman, yet even in that case it isn't reflective of what their true opinion of the woman's sexual antics.

What do you mean when you say that a woman looks a certain way when she's "feeling" sexy? Do you mean to describe how a woman presents herself when she's sexually aroused or what? I don't get your intended meaning here I don't think.

When you speak of media imaged female bodies being contorted to an "unnatural, uncomfortable position" are you speaking of a sexual position during intercourse or are you speaking of photoshopped bodies?
Sorry I'm slow to follow you this morning..

[Chronos]

Quesi,

I was unable to tell if this TV show was a serious lecture or if she was playing the straight man (woman) to her own comedy routine.

Really?  I think she had one very simple, very clear message.  Some men are good in bed, but are really assholes.  Don’t fall for them.  Great sex is great, but if you let great sex lead you into bad relationships, you’ll regret it.

Oh, I heard that message but not in a constructive way to say how you avoid the problem. Simply telling somebody to have respective for themselves is not enough. Her method of discussing the subject tilted to more pornographic than intellectual. Given the way black people involve themselves in religion, I would even say that she was definitely spiritual when engaging in how the penis has power.

So, yeah, I at first thought this had to be some comedy routine with a big punch line at the end, but I didn't find one. Without finding one, I have to think, What is this woman trying to accomplish?

[EV]

I don't quite know what is going on, but she sounds like a bit of a nymphomaniac.

'You gotta jackrabbit at work' was my favourite line. 

[Quesi]

@Chronos and others You know, I suspect that since the beginning of the development of advanced human language, women have sat around outside of tents weaving baskets and inside adobe huts grinding corn and in damp stone fortresses embroidering royal crests, while discussing content very similar to the content of her monologue.  It is the “up” spot.  The “down” spot.  The middle.  No, it is really all about the little external clitoral button.  No, it is the motion.  No, it is a single spot.  No, it is multiple spots.  No, it is a spot that moves. It only works when it is slow.  It only works when it is fast. It needs to be gentle.  It needs to be rough.  It only works at this angle.  What you are describing is exactly what I’ve never had the words to describe.  What you are describing is completely different from what I experience.  I had no idea anyone else felt quite like this. It can go on for an hour?  More?  Really?  I had no idea that this is what it feels like to other people.  Why are my sexual experiences so different from yours?  Is it me?  Is it my partner?  But what do you do?  How do you do that?  Can you do it alone?  How?  You use a what? 

I think that these discussions, these explorations of female sexuality, void of rational content or explicit goals, are valid in an of themselves.  I also think that modern society does not provide women with the women-only space to have these discussions, and I really applaud this woman for taking it to the internet to continue what is certainly a discussion that has ancient roots, but whose content is fresh and informative for each generation. 

And then, the “I know he’s not good for me, but I can’t imagine not having that feeling” discussions.  That is another universal discussion. 

Her target audience (in this piece) seem to be women, (probably young women) who, like her, have unlocked many of the sexual secrets that I honestly did not uncover myself until my 30’s.  Her personal sexual experiences would not have struck a chord with me in my 20’s.  And neither would her cautionary advice.  I tended to err on the other side, preferring really “nice guys” who treated me with such respect that they would never have taken the sexual risks that were necessary to find the sexual pleasures that she describes.  But although I imagine that most of her viewers are black women, the content of her advice is certainly not race specific. There are women of all races who uncover the complexities of their orgasms at a young age, and subsequently make poor life choices. 

@EV – I do not pretend to be privy to the content or tone of the sexual discussions that take place among 17 year old males, but let me ask you a question.  You used the word “nymphomaniac” to describe her.  What word would you use to describe a male who shares her enthusiasm for sexual activity, and her openness at describing his own personal sexual experiences? 

I am really enjoying this discussion.  Again, I’m really surprised by the male perspective on this woman’s monologue. 

Now I REALLY need to get to my breakfast meeting. 

[Kimberly]

I think you give her too much credit Quesi. She essential said that "nice guys" suck in bed and "predators" know how to hit it but will ruin your life. She goes on to say that if you enjoy the sex he must not be a nice guy and is only using you. Her entire rant seems to be about telling women they should not have sex with predators or vibrators. She is not condoling or recommending sexual exploration she is condemning it. 

I don't like her entire premise in the video. It removes all personal accountability, projects a negative personification on to men who are good in bed, and attempts to victimize women who fail to communicate their boundaries.

[EV]

@EV – I do not pretend to be privy to the content or tone of the sexual discussions that take place among 17 year old males, but let me ask you a question.  You used the word “nymphomaniac” to describe her.  What word would you use to describe a male who shares her enthusiasm for sexual activity, and her openness at describing his own personal sexual experiences? 

A 17 year old male is pretty much by nature highly sexual thanks to massive hormonal releases constantly, so I wouldn't see that as a pretty fair comparison, but I was getting at the fact that she was talking about 'going for a quickie' in the bathroom at the office! That's quite a high sex drive.

There is so much bias on describing each gender equally, that the very nature of doing this actually exacerbates the problem. I just see has as a very highly sexed person, and used the term nymphomaniac as someone who has a very high sex drive- It's an aspect of hypersexuality, defined as: 'extremely frequent or suddenly increased sexual urges or sexual activity'.

Such as masturbating in the office perhaps? It just sounded to me like she was covertly describing something she'd done but ranting about others doing it.

So if I were describing a male who shares her enthusiasm for sexual activity, I'd still go with nymphomaniac. Possibly hypersexual as a better description come to think of it.

Not all 17 year olds are as open about sex though, and indeed being at a boarding school, it is quite normal to keep those details to yourself. Plus I don't like other typical 17 year old boys much, and prefer to associate with the musical 17 year olds I know, who tend to be more interested in bragging about their latest concert rather than 'that chick they banged last night'.

Also, whenever she said the word sexual predator, all I could think of was this:

[Quesi]

I think you give her too much credit Quesi. She essential said that "nice guys" suck in bed and "predators" know how to hit it but will ruin your life. She goes on to say that if you enjoy the sex he must not be a nice guy and is only using you. Her entire rant seems to be about telling women they should not have sex with predators or vibrators. She is not condoling or recommending sexual exploration she is condemning it. 

I don't like her entire premise in the video. It removes all personal accountability, projects a negative personification on to men who are good in bed, and attempts to victimize women who fail to communicate their boundaries.

Wow.  I think you are being way too hard on her.  I think she was using "predators" who are great in bed, and the nice guys who aren't, as illustrations.  I think we all understand that there is no correlation between being a nice guy and sexual prowess. I've actually had the opportunity to biblically know at least one really slimy bastard who was really lousy in bed too! 

And I really don't hear her condemning sexual exploration.  (I'll have to listen again, but not while I'm in the office.)  I hear her saying that women sometimes do crazy, and even destructive things in pursuit of sex, and presenting situations that are both humorous and realistic.  And that is certainly true of both men and women. 

[Kimberly]

I don't think I can go through the 9 minutes of it again to get the exact quotes but I think you might find it worthwhile to listen for the types of comments I described. There was one point where she was talking about needing to pray for the strength to stop masturbating and seeking out predators. Or something like that. The tone you describe the video in is not what I heard at all.

[Kimberly]

I was curious to find out if I did in fact misunderstand her. So I did a search and found some random tidbits here and there.

An interview on Yahoo

Vagina Power
"Vagina Power" is an Atlanta based Public-access television show hosted by Alexyss K. Tylor, an African American woman. Aimed primarily for a female African American audience, the show mainly consists of Tylor speaking frankly and openly about various love and relationship issues in the African American community. Tylor is known for her very outspoken and in-your-face way of speaking, colorful vocabulary, and off-the-wall analogies. Alexyss also has a significant presence on YouTube, although a non-trivial portion of videos in this channel contain product endorsements or other material not entirely germane to her ideology.

Source

Freakipedia

Alexyss K. Tylor: Vagina Power - Let Your Bowels Loose



I stand by my original assessment. This is a woman scorn with no clear direction. It seems like she has some issues and genuinely wants to help people but I'm not sure she goes about doing what she sets out.  Her story is sad and I feel for her. But I think she has a hard time articulating and focusing on progress.

[MadBunny]

When I watched the video I kept thinking about a Kevin Smith movie.  "Chasing Amy" where the main characters talk about how women just need a 'deep dicking' to line up their priorities.

I got the impression that she's had it, and wouldn't mind it again, minus the sketchy.