When Armageddon comes, there will be no more masturbation. Or deaf people. Or youtube. 
Is that true?
Will masturbation become irrelevant because of such abundant sexual opportunities in the afterlife?
And are you saying that dead deaf people who go to hell, get to hear in the afterlife?
And are you saying that there is no youtube for all of eternity in the celestial afterlife? Doesn't that kind of suck?
Theology is so complex. No wonder there are those who dedicate a lifetime to studying it.