Christians Adopting Frozen Embryos

[jedweber]

The Huffington Post had an article today about pro-life evangelical Christians who adopt other people's frozen embryos to "save" them from being discarded. Apparently this is a growing trend. Some have been implanted and brought to term, and they're called "snowflakes."  (I don't know what they do with the others...keep them in a petri dish in the freezer?) 

Evangelicals Embryo Adoption: Devout Christians Seek A Future For Thousands Of Frozen Embryos
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/10/evangelicals-embryo-adopt_n_1871832.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

[Nick]

They treat an embryo better than they do their fellow man.  What a bunch of crazy f*cking nuts.

[HAL]

They treat an embryo better than they do their fellow man.  What a bunch of crazy f*cking nuts.

LOL.

[Quesi]

I'm genuinely a little confused. 

I am active in the adoptive parent community, and a lot of people adopt due to fertility issues.  Embryo adoption comes up frequently as an option for prospective adoptive parents, and a surprising number of women really want to go through the experience of pregnancy and birth. 

But I know very few people who have gone through with an embryo adoption.  I kind of assumed that it was difficult to do.  But I might just be misinformed. 

It might be that when a mom gives birth to an adopted embryo, she and her family do not identify the child as being adopted, so they fall out of the "adoptive parent' circuit. 

I know one single mom who pursued anonymous donor insemination, only to find out she had fertility issues.  She then pursued embryo adoption, and found a great situation.  A mom, (in Canada) had already had several successful embryo implantations, and had three kids at home.  Then her husband died, and she really wanted to "use" the embryos, but did not feel equipped to be a single parent to four.  So my neighbor adopted her embryos, and the first attempt didn't take, but then she had a beautiful baby girl.  She has a close relationship with the genetic mother, and has taken her daughter to visit her siblings in Canada.  The genetic mom is thrilled that her deceased husbands genes are living on in another child, and the mom raising the daughter is just thrilled to be a mom.  It is a win/win situation.

But what are all of these embryos?  I'm trying to understand the psychology here. 

Prospective parents who pursue in vitro fertilization are folks who really want to be parents, and who feel strongly that they want to be genetic parents to their children, rather than adoptive parents.  So they fertilize a few eggs, and either successfully have a child, or they don't.  In either case, they have a few embryos left over.  Do they decide to put them up for adoption?  Or do they authorize them to be destroyed, and then some Christians take them?  The latter is very, very creepy. 

[screwtape]

If I had frozen embryos, I would rather they be eaten by wild dogs than adopted by xians.

[Quesi]

If I had frozen embryos, I would rather they be eaten by wild dogs than adopted by xians.

Yeah, right?  But it is all so strange.  People who pursue IVF are people who not only want to be parents, but are people who really want to parent their genetic children.  They have a vested interest in their genetic offspring.  That is why they are not pursuing adoption.

And then, to have their genetic offspring be born to and raised in a fundie household? 

Ick.

I'm wondering if this is some sort of scam.  Do the genetic prospective parents really know what is happening with these embryos?  Or do they fill out some random paperwork with pages of 6 point font in which they are relinquishing the rights to the embryos, and don't even realize that they are authorizing some lunatics to give birth to their genetic children?

I did a little reading on this last night, and unlike adoption, there is no record indicating that a child born via IFV is NOT the genetic child of the woman who gives birth to her, and the woman's husband.

Now as an adoptive parent, I am aware of the fact that my daughter is not my genetic daughter.  When I fill out forms for doctors that ask about the mother's health and the father's health, I have to put N/A.  My daughter will always have this gap in her family history.  But she knows that. 

Does a child born to "adoptive parents" via IFV even know that she is not genetically related to her parents?  Will she live her life telling her doctors the medical history of people who are not genetically related to her?

The one child I know who was born to woman via a donated embryo is aware of her genetic history.  I mean, she is preschooler now, but she is aware of her relationship to her genetic mom and siblings, and I am sure that her very responsible mom will make sure that her genetic mom's medical history is available to her.   

[Ivellios]

One of my cousins did this once. I don't know all the details, but iirc the genetic mother wouldn't be able to carry the child to term, but she and her hubby wanted a genetic child. So they got one of her eggs, fertilized it, then implanted it into my cousin whom carried it to term for them.

I wonder how many fundy christians called her a whore for being pregnant and not married. How many times she'd have to explain that she's not the genetic mother... I know she delt with it very well. I think she knew that no matter which version of Christian they called themselves, they were not on the side of an All-Knowing, All-Loving God.

[jedweber]

Prospective parents who pursue in vitro fertilization are folks who really want to be parents, and who feel strongly that they want to be genetic parents to their children, rather than adoptive parents.  So they fertilize a few eggs, and either successfully have a child, or they don't.  In either case, they have a few embryos left over.  Do they decide to put them up for adoption?  Or do they authorize them to be destroyed, and then some Christians take them?  The latter is very, very creepy.

The article mentions donated embryos, but I wouldn't be surprised if they're also trying to "rescue" others slated for destruction. After all,  to these people, discarding unused embryos is morally equivalent to going into a maternity ward and executing the babies. One of the Christians they quote compares frozen embryos to children living in Chinese orphanages...

[oogabooga]

This has already been mentioned (and not just here) - I suggest they take care of all the abandoned, abused and underprivileged children that are already alive instead of making a fuss over a clump of cells that have a very good chance of not developing into human beings. They don't give a flying fuck about people who are already alive and in need of help. Clean up the existing mess before adding new people to it. Why is that such a hard concept to grasp? They need to be reminded of King Solomon's words (yes, that King Solomon of the Bible fame) about how it's better not to be born at all than to be born to live in misery and face evil. According to those same rabid Christians, this world if full of evil. Oh, I forgot, they don't read their own holy book, especially not the parts they dislike.

[Quesi]

One of my cousins did this once. I don't know all the details, but iirc the genetic mother wouldn't be able to carry the child to term, but she and her hubby wanted a genetic child. So they got one of her eggs, fertilized it, then implanted it into my cousin whom carried it to term for them.

I wonder how many fundy christians called her a whore for being pregnant and not married. How many times she'd have to explain that she's not the genetic mother... I know she delt with it very well. I think she knew that no matter which version of Christian they called themselves, they were not on the side of an All-Knowing, All-Loving God.

That is great that your cousin did this!  It is a little different though, because your cousin acted as a surrogate mom, because if I understand it, she did not raise the child she gave birth to. 

[Quesi]

This has already been mentioned (and not just here) - I suggest they take care of all the abandoned, abused and underprivileged children that are already alive instead of making a fuss over a clump of cells that have a very good chance of not developing into human beings. They don't give a flying fuck about people who are already alive and in need of help. Clean up the existing mess before adding new people to it. Why is that such a hard concept to grasp? They need to be reminded of King Solomon's words (yes, that King Solomon of the Bible fame) about how it's better not to be born at all than to be born to live in misery and face evil. According to those same rabid Christians, this world if full of evil. Oh, I forgot, they don't read their own holy book, especially not the parts they dislike.

Oh... I agree wholeheartedly.

However, there are gobs of fundie lunatic Christians who DO adopt kids.  And honestly, my heart goes out to many of those the kids. 

[Kimberly]

^I dated a a guy who was adopted by a Christian family. The guy was home schooled and very socially awkward. I remember taking him to a bar that I frequented once and having the "regulars" laugh at him and offer to buy me drinks because he was such a "loser". I would have been offended but the guy was a complete jerk to me so I was kinda flattered. Any ways this guy was not like the "good Christians" who adopted him. I ended up befriending his sister so I got to know the family fairly well post breakup. It always amazed how different an adopted child could be personality wise from the family who raised them from birth.

This particular family adopted so man kids I can't keep count. I often wonder how much of it was for religious reasons more than financial but they seem genuine enough on the outside so I have no reason to believe it's financially motivated. I'm pretty sure they have adopted children with birth defects from Nicaragua. But I don't really ask as I've not been close to the sister for a few years. I do know they go on mission trips and help take care of children with birth defects in Nicaragua.

Any ways that guy ended up being anything but religious. I'm sure he "believed" in god on some level but he was nothing like the rest of the family. I'm not sure if it was the religious family who "screwed" him up or his genetics. He found his biological sister and mother and it seemed like he behaved more like them. I often wonder about the nature/nurture topic when it comes to adopted children.

[Ivellios]

That is great that your cousin did this!  It is a little different though, because your cousin acted as a surrogate mom, because if I understand it, she did not raise the child she gave birth to.

Correct. An experience like that though, can show you in an "in your face" kind of way, who is prejudiced or not. Humans prevailed where god failed. I don't know if the couple is religious or not, but I hope not. The gratitude deserved to my cousin and someone else collecting massive debt in student loans and years of studying to be given to a non-existent god, would burn me up. (not counting the years of research to figure out how to do that... and lots more.)