Author Topic: Got any objective biblical verses for me?  (Read 763 times)

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Offline StripeDog

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Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« on: August 30, 2012, 05:44:45 PM »
I just got this nice new king james bible today. Don't really feel like reading it. I've already got a summery on every book, but I'd like to see a list of ones that some people already know.

Thanks
There's no need to be harsh.

Offline bertatberts

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Re: Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2012, 06:45:28 AM »
I don't think you will find any verses that are not influenced by personal feelings/opinions in the bible, and none that represent facts.

The bible is after all a book, and as such subjective, nothing bar the names of places and some people can be verified. it is the same as any book, the has to be a modicum of actual truth in it to a make it interesting.
For instance James Bond never existed but he has spoken to the Queen and been to Paris, New York and London.

No sir I think you will be hard pressed to find any objective biblical verses. Oh and welcome to the forum.
We theists have no evidence for our beliefs. So no amount of rational evidence will dissuade us from those beliefs. - JCisall

It would be pretty piss poor brainwashing, if the victims knew they were brainwashed, wouldn't it? - Screwtape. 04/12/12

Online Graybeard

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Re: Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2012, 07:30:01 AM »
There's some objective truth in this one:

Proverb:21:9: It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
RELIGION, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. Ambrose Bierce

Offline bertatberts

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Re: Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2012, 07:55:43 AM »
There's some objective truth in this one:
Even more so if it is the King James Version.

Proverbs:21:19: It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
We theists have no evidence for our beliefs. So no amount of rational evidence will dissuade us from those beliefs. - JCisall

It would be pretty piss poor brainwashing, if the victims knew they were brainwashed, wouldn't it? - Screwtape. 04/12/12

Offline Truth OT

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Re: Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2012, 04:54:51 PM »
I just got this nice new king james bible today. Don't really feel like reading it. I've already got a summery on every book, but I'd like to see a list of ones that some people already know.

Thanks

The King James, really? It isn't the most reader friendly or most accurately translated Bible version. If you want one that's a lot better read, and that will give you some summaries and background info, try this one: www.2001translation.com.

Offline Emily

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Re: Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2012, 04:58:48 PM »
try this one: www.2001translation.com.

Damn, that site is an eye-sore.

Want the most accurate biblical translation. Try this one: http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page
"Great moments are born from great opportunities." Herb Brooks

I edit a lot of my posts. The reason being it to add content or to correct grammar/wording. All edits to remove wording get a strike through through the wording.

Offline Truth OT

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Re: Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« Reply #6 on: August 31, 2012, 05:11:13 PM »
try this one: www.2001translation.com.

Damn, that site is an eye-sore.

Want the most accurate biblical translation. Try this one: http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page

I can't believe someone, or some folks took their precious time to put something like that together. Waaaaaaaaay to much work for a punchline.

Offline Emily

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Re: Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« Reply #7 on: August 31, 2012, 05:42:27 PM »
I can't believe someone, or some folks took their precious time to put something like that together. Waaaaaaaaay to much work for a punchline.

It's a wiki, so it's a group of people. Possibly many, many people. Not all the chapters are there. Gotta admit, it is funny. I think it's funny anyways.
"Great moments are born from great opportunities." Herb Brooks

I edit a lot of my posts. The reason being it to add content or to correct grammar/wording. All edits to remove wording get a strike through through the wording.

Offline bertatberts

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Re: Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« Reply #8 on: August 31, 2012, 05:46:41 PM »
I just got this nice new king james bible today. Don't really feel like reading it. I've already got a summery on every book, but I'd like to see a list of ones that some people already know.

Thanks

The King James, really? It isn't the most reader friendly or most accurately translated Bible version.
I beg to differ, on the latter point.
If you want one that's a lot better read, and that will give you some summaries and background info, try this one: www.2001translation.com.
Wow that translation is f**ked up, stick with the KJV.
Far too many extrapolations and additions. You may as well rewrite the whole thing, as they almost done anyway. And I don't mean re-translate, that's a whole different book.

Case in point 2001 translation: Proverbs 21- 9 It's better to live on the corner of a roof, than in a house whitewashed with injustice, or to live in one that's not clean.

Where has the woman gone the whole point of the verse.
We theists have no evidence for our beliefs. So no amount of rational evidence will dissuade us from those beliefs. - JCisall

It would be pretty piss poor brainwashing, if the victims knew they were brainwashed, wouldn't it? - Screwtape. 04/12/12

Offline Garja

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Re: Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« Reply #9 on: August 31, 2012, 06:00:16 PM »
Wow, just wow.

Cat Levitican law Leviticus 18
1 And ceiling cat sed, "Oh hai Mozus,"
2 U sez unto teh kittehz uv Izreeul, u sez: "I, CEILING CAT, are teh CEILING CAT of dem!
3 Dose guyz in teh Eejipt, whar u wuz at, DO NOT WANT u for do dat. In teh Canaan, whar u be go to, DO NOT WANT u for do dat too. Kthxbai.
4 Do whut I sez, cuz I am teh CEILING CAT, teh moar CEILING CAT.
5 But u must do whut i sez cuz den u finds cheezburgers. I be teh CEILING CAT!
6 No can has teh secks wif teh fambily! I are teh CEILING CAT.

7 No can has teh surprise buttsecks wif ur daddy. No can has teh surprise buttsecks wif ur mommy.
8 No can has teh secks wif ur daddy's hoez, dats like teh buttsecks wif ur daddy.
9 No can has teh secks wif ur sister. An no iz okai for teh beej. Srry.
10 No can has teh secks wif da kitteh uf ur kitteh.
11 No can has teh beej from teh cuzins. Srry.

12 No can has teh secks wif teh auntie.
13 No cans get teh beej wif auntie too. Srry.
14 No can has teh buttsecks wif teh unkel. He are teh goatse.
15 No can has beej from dawter in lawz. Well okai maibe sumtimes.
16 No can has teh secks wif ur broes hoes. Dats ur bro d00d!

17 No can has gangbang wif grandma and granddawter. Has to big age difrns. Srsly.
18 No can has gangbang wif ur hoes sisturz.
Srsly, jus dun haz teh secks wif any uv teh peeps in ur fambly! Jus dun! SRSLY! S ur FAMBLY!
19 No can get ur harbl wetted when ur hoes has teh bluds in hur harbl.
20 No can has teh secks wif ur naiborz wife. shes not urs.

21 No can gif ur kitteh to teh fire of teh Molech. I are ceiling cat, an Molech r not!
22 No can has ghey... srsly. srry, but no.


No matter how many people it took to do this... I wonder how many man-hours actually went into it?
« Last Edit: August 31, 2012, 06:02:06 PM by Garja »
"If we look back into history for the character of the present sects in Christianity, we shall find few that have not in their turns been persecutors, and complainers of persecution."

-Benjamin Franklin

Offline Emily

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Re: Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« Reply #10 on: August 31, 2012, 06:21:22 PM »
No matter how many people it took to do this... I wonder how many man-hours actually went into it?

Probably by a bunch of losers who can't get laid.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2012, 06:28:49 PM by Emily »
"Great moments are born from great opportunities." Herb Brooks

I edit a lot of my posts. The reason being it to add content or to correct grammar/wording. All edits to remove wording get a strike through through the wording.

Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« Reply #11 on: September 01, 2012, 05:36:50 PM »
No matter how many people it took to do this... I wonder how many man-hours actually went into it?

Probably by a bunch of losers who can't get laid.

SRSLY!!!
It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Offline LoriPinkAngel

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Re: Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« Reply #12 on: September 01, 2012, 05:53:01 PM »
I don't care for KJV except for verses that are deliberately poetic like psalms.  There are several bits in Proverbs that are pretty objective & make common sense.
It doesn't make sense to let go of something you've had for so long.  But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's actually nothing there.

Offline StripeDog

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Re: Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« Reply #13 on: September 03, 2012, 08:44:37 PM »
I Timothy 2:17 and Deut. 21:18 some that a friend suggested. While I know some christians who decide to sort of "pick and choose" out of the bible, it also mentions that The Bible is the inerrant word of god.
There's no need to be harsh.

Offline bertatberts

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Re: Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« Reply #14 on: September 04, 2012, 01:33:09 AM »
I Timothy 2:17 doesn't exist it only goes to 15 in that chapter.
And Deut 21:18 is how to murder your child. Yes you could say that was objective.
We theists have no evidence for our beliefs. So no amount of rational evidence will dissuade us from those beliefs. - JCisall

It would be pretty piss poor brainwashing, if the victims knew they were brainwashed, wouldn't it? - Screwtape. 04/12/12

Offline Boots

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Re: Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« Reply #15 on: September 04, 2012, 11:40:13 AM »
No matter how many people it took to do this... I wonder how many man-hours actually went into it?

Probably by a bunch of losers who can't get laid.

Yeah, no other way to get pussy!!  HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW
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Offline StripeDog

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Re: Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« Reply #16 on: September 06, 2012, 08:47:52 PM »
I Timothy 2:17 doesn't exist it only goes to 15 in that chapter.

Really? I was trying to do it by memory.  :P
There's no need to be harsh.

Offline Ivellios

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Re: Got any objective biblical verses for me?
« Reply #17 on: September 07, 2012, 07:28:39 AM »
1 Timothy 2 does have to do with women forbidden from taking positions of authority. If that's what you were going after.