willwgp86

[willwgp86]

I'm the type to pray out loud in my car about something troubling me. I never felt that God was really listening to me or helping me through my problem, it was really more of a self-reflection of my own life, and me telling myself to take action and do something about it. I was searching for a god that would truly help me. But with so many gods, churches, leaders, I couldn't help but think how foolish I was to believe in it all. I only offered 10% to the church when I was younger because my family told me to. But now that I'm on my own, I only offer money to local radio stations and  businesses.

Just yesterday, I stumbled across this site, read every reason to debunk what I've believed in for the past 25 years. It made it easier for me to just drop the chains and realize it's time to just live my life how I want to, and not rely on anyone else to get me there.

Now I feel free to live my life, and don't feel like there is some godly force hovering over me, threatening me with eternal damnation and hell for my actions.

Not to say I'm a bad person, but I am far from perfect.

I'm no longer afraid of Hell, and don't believe in Heaven. As much as I wish they were real, they're not.

I don't know what it's like to die, but I'm not afraid to.

If there is a god, he would have said something to me by now. Or answered a prayer. But the truth is, I am the one that's in control.

I just don't know how to break it to my family, my parents are conservative Christians and heavily involved in church, as is my sister and her husband who are also heavily involved at a different church. Currently it makes me sick to think about the fact that they are all believing what could very well be a lie. But they are free to believe whatever they want. My nephews are being brainwashed to believe in something that just isn't real, and I don't know what to do about it all.

Until then, I will celebrate my freedom by drinking a glass of wine and sit out in my front yard and just re-evaluate my life. Start over and press on.

Thanks for reading and taking me in.

[Kimberly]

Welcome to the forum willwgp86;


Was it this site that helped you come to your conclusion or were you already pondering these things before finding this site?

[willwgp86]

I had always pondered about these problems. Why God wasn't talking to me, or why bad things are happening every day and God isn't stopping them. Why "God has a plan" but abortions are being allowed in every hospital worldwide. Why was I allowed to do something bad and no one stopped me? I would hide thinking I was going to get a backhand to the face; I was afraid of hell. I just can't envision there being a god if all of this is being allowed. I imagine in my head what it would be like to be a god, but I don't exactly envision any of this nonsense. This is life; life's what we make it. We are in control.

Thanks for the greetings, and reading.

[curiousgirl]

Welcome, willwgp86! To answer your first post, I have plenty of religious family members as well. I think the best thing to do is calmly state your opinion, and if they explode with anger, then just remain calm and rational. I think that you should tell them how you feel in a neutral setting or your own territory rather than in their homes, or things could get rather awkward. Anyway, that is what has worked for me. Congrats on your deconversion. 

[Kimberly]

I had always pondered about these problems. Why God wasn't talking to me, or why bad things are happening every day and God isn't stopping them. Why "God has a plan" but abortions are being allowed in every hospital worldwide. Why was I allowed to do something bad and no one stopped me? I would hide thinking I was going to get a backhand to the face; I was afraid of hell. I just can't envision there being a god if all of this is being allowed. I imagine in my head what it would be like to be a god, but I don't exactly envision any of this nonsense. This is life; life's what we make it. We are in control.

Thanks for the greetings, and reading.

You're not alone. I always wondered these things but thought I wasn't "doing it right". I look forward to more of your post and hope you enjoy your stay.

[Nick]

Welcome Will...

A lot of us here have gone thru similar things.  Hanging up the god belief is hard when you look around you and see the time, money, buildings, etc that have been formed for religion.  You wonder how it can't be not true with it all around you.  It is easy to dismiss all other gods throughout history.  It is that last one that is hard to remove.  But once removed it is a refreshing moment of rational wakening.  You are responsible for you and those times in the car were a way for you to reflect.

Take it easy with your family believers.  Delusion is deep with some and won't be torn away easily.  I use moments to insert a small sarcastic jab myself now and then.  Just enough to hint at the foolishness of religion.

[Garja]

Its rough man.  My Mother is a very staunch Christian and took the news about how I expected.  Crying.  I understood her, she felt her son was going to go to hell.  I am not going to lie to you and say everything will be okay, because just stating facts to someone who believes something on faith does very very little.

My advice is be patient, be kind, but be firm.  Make sure that they know this is not a decision you have made lightly, that you have considered it for sometime, weighed the evidence for God and found it lacking. 
I cannot tell from your post how long ago you made this decision, if it was literally in the last couple days I would advise waiting a few days before talking to your parents etc.  I personally just deconverted about 7 months ago and I still feel like I learn new things everyday... granted I spend a minimum of an hour a day on atheist sites and on YouTube making sure I understand my new (lack of) faith.  If it is something new for you I would youtube search Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris, or Richard Dawkins and listen to their arguments (The Atheist Experience is also a pretty good show out of Austin TX, but available on YouTube).  I also strongly recommend A Letter to a Christian Nation by Sam Harris; its short (not so) sweet and too the point (and you can download a pdf file for free).