The Family

[Truth OT]

I want to start this with the quote from Cathy, the Chick-Fil-A President.

"I think we are inviting God's judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say, 'We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage,'" Cathy said. "I pray God's mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about."We are very much supportive of the family -- the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that … We want to do anything we possibly can to strengthen families. We are very much committed to that."

This quote illustrates how Cathy and many, perhaps even the vast majority of Americans feel about family. We are passionate about our family's well being and will stand firm against that which we feel threatens our idea(l) of what the family, specifically our family should be.

The above quote makes me wonder how to approach a dialogue about exactly what defines a strong, healthy family as well as what things weaken or threaten the family unit. In addition I'd like to discuss what the perceived purpose of the family unit is as opposed to what the best and most practical purposes likely are.

[Traveler]

In my opinion, family is what WE make of it. For my friends who were abused as children, they have created a family of supportive friends. They don't necessarily live in the same home, but they support each other as parents and siblings are supposed to do.

In a somewhat stricter sense of the word, family is a group of people who choose to share their lives and/or resources. Sometimes this involves child rearing. Sometimes it does not. I don't care what the gender, color, sexual orientation, age, or hairstyle these people have. If they choose to be a family, who am I to deny them? Family may include legal protections such as marriage, adoption, domestic partnership agreements, etc. For legal purposes, some of these are necessary to gain full benefits of family.

What I don't understand about christians like Cathy is how other people's view of family or marriage threatens his own. He can still marry a woman. He can live with her, have babies with her, visit her at her hospital bedside, put her on his insurance, and so on ad nauseum. How is anyone else's family situation ANY reflection or denegration of his???

[Nam]

"The Family", like many other terms, I feel, are just tools of propaganda. They are not speaking about the family itself but solely of the children. My opinion. It's all propaganda.

-Nam

[Truth OT]

What I don't understand about christians like Cathy is how other people's view of family or marriage threatens his own. He can still marry a woman. He can live with her, have babies with her, visit her at her hospital bedside, put her on his insurance, and so on ad nauseum. How is anyone else's family situation ANY reflection or denegration of his???

The issue for the Cathy's of this world centers around the paradigm they have been conditioned to accept. To him and many others, there are not varying definitions of what a family is. There are no grey areas, there's no room for interpretation, and nothing is subjective as to them, the matter is a black and white issue.

The Cathy types are threatened because partly because they believe that equal rights will lead to a level of general acceptance that will expose the Cathy offspring to homosexuality in a positive light. That type of exposure threatens the Cathy view and the hope that view has given birth to as it pertains to how the Cathy family tree will look. To them, their family is threaten and stands a chance at being weakened severely going forward because if accepted, homosexuality stands more of a chance of creeping into the Cathy family at some point.
To them, it is not possible for the family unit to be what it "should be" or even be strong if constructed in a homosexual setting. They believe the homosexual family has less staying power and is not as well equiped to endure the trials of life as the traditional family structure is. They also feel that any children brought into and thus brought up in such a setting are somehow at a disadvantage both morally and socially and are more likely to be social deviants that will have an adverse influence on their communities and society as a whole.

To the Cathy types, the purpose of family is far beyond a loving and supporting relationship between two equally invested partners. In their eyes the family is a structure ordained by the god they believe in designed to: promote healthy and safe lifelong monogamous relationships between men and women whereby offspring can be conceived and reared in a stable and safe structure that fosters the "virtuous" values of godliness that will lead the offspring down life's righteous path making them good people, good citizens, and most importantly, people that in their minds are the type of folks their god will be pleased with.
 
Remember, these people do not understand nor do they believe that people can be good moral folks without the help of The Lord. To them, there is no goodness apart from godliness. This type of paradigm will always lead to people who hold these conviction being compelled to take stances against that which they perceive to be "at war" with their view of godliness/righteousness.

[Traveler]

Thanks, Truth OT, that's helpful. I can comprehend the words, but I don't "get it" at any deep level. I guess I didn't inherit the "I must control everyone else's life" gene. 

I have several examples in my extended family of people who grew up gay despite their religious upbringing. And because of the strict religious objections from their religious parents, those families were splintered and harmed by their lack of acceptance. It took a lot of time for them to heal those wounds and move forward as families again. For me, child rearing is about loving support, not of control. Of teaching a child how to learn and grow and be an independent thinker, not about creating a clone of the parents.

[Azdgari]

Interesting that they aren't aware of their own actions in defining "family".  Cathy is adopting at least as much authority as anyone else.

[Truth OT]

Interesting that they aren't aware of their own actions in defining "family".  Cathy is adopting at least as much authority as anyone else.

Religion and authority are virtually inseparable. A question that needs to be asked more is why is there such an authoritative structure emphasized for the family unit and is it beneficial or necessary.
Other questions to ponder include:

- What are the extent of the responsibilities relationship partnes have to the other?
- When children are brought into the family dynamic, what are the parental responsibilities?
- Where does parental authority stop?
- Is the idea of a lifelong monogamous relationship counterproductive for certain people?

[Nam]

Truth OT,

I think, the last question would be a "yes". Unless they were able to live separately in the same place yet still have a strong relationship.

-Nam