Author Topic: the Jesus budget  (Read 276 times)

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Offline atheola

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the Jesus budget
« on: April 24, 2012, 05:46:33 PM »

Narrator: America's top economic minds are raving about it . . .

. . . motivational speaker, messiah, carpenter, and now bestselling author, Jesus of Nazareth presents . . . "The Jesus Budget," A Conservative Miracle.

Jesus: Hi, I'm Jesus. If you're concerned about your future and the state of the economy, "The Jesus Budget" is for you.

Jesus: Handouts and free food may have worked in ancient times, but today, they just lead to a culture of loaves and fishes dependency.

Jesus: The Jesus Budget teaches you that:

Blessed are the poor, for their capital gains tax is low.

For I was hungry, and you gave me vouchers, I was thirsty, and you gave me trickle down, I was sick, and you saved me from Socialism.

And it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to be taxed in the Cayman Islands!

Just ask a few real Americans what they think of "The Jesus Budget."

Hillbilly: Thanks to The Jesus Budget, we can pay down the deficit responsibly, and not rely on social programs to care for my leprosy!

Mary: The Jesus Budget taught me I've got to take responsibility for the fact I'm homeless . . . and he's not even the real father!

Tough Guy: Finally! After reading The Jesus Budget, I can stop being a Good Samaritan, cross to the other side of the street, and say ------- 'em!

Narrator: The Jesus Budget, finally, a Good Book . . . that does good.

Jesus: Available online and at independent bookstores everywhere. Also available as an e-book or divine revelation.
You better believe it's not butter or you'll burn in hell forever and EVER!
Get on your knees right now and thank GOD for not being real!

Offline Nick

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Re: the Jesus budget
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2012, 07:26:54 PM »
That's funny and true in the mind of the "right".
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!