Author Topic: Bullying  (Read 362 times)

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Offline Timtheskeptic

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Bullying
« on: April 23, 2012, 11:10:22 PM »
I sometimes hear people say that bullying is a rite of passage, i sometimes hear that you cannot stop the bullying and that bullying will happen no matter what.

I strongly diagree that it's a rite of passage. If anything, it's a horrible thing to do to anyone. Bullying doesn't make anyone strong, it only affects people in negative ways. I remember being bullied in high school, bullied by my brothers when we were in Maryland as kids, and online. it was awful and i had often felt suicidal. What good does that do? The only reason i became stronger was because of good, decent, caring people like my grandmother, my parents, and my counselor in high school. the bullying itself would have just killed me.

As for stopping the bullying, i think it's possible but it won't be completely stopped.

i hated the schools who choose to cover their ears and eyes to the reality, pretend that they cannot do anything or that, "kids will be kids." They can stop it, they just choose not to.

What are your thoughts on this subject?
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Offline jeremy0

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2012, 11:15:33 PM »
I believe that every smart kid or loner was likely bullied all the way through school.  Let's just say 'different in any way'  even if it means 'smarter than the average kid'.  I can recall a large number of kids that were absolutely brilliant as children, but because it just ain't cool, were ruined by the time they became adults.

Myself?  I think it's pretty stupid that multiple kids have to gang up on someone else for a good time.  It raises serious concerns from my point of view, because the kids I want to protect are the smart ones, the free thinkers, the ones that could grow up and create some cool stuff.  Instead, we've been protecting the idiots.  That's my beef with bullying..

Can it be stopped?  Probably not in its entirety.  But it's about damn time we finally did something about it.
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Offline Timtheskeptic

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #2 on: April 23, 2012, 11:21:04 PM »
I believe that every smart kid or loner was likely bullied all the way through school.  Let's just say 'different in any way'  even if it means 'smarter than the average kid'.  I can recall a large number of kids that were absolutely brilliant as children, but because it just ain't cool, were ruined by the time they became adults.

Myself?  I think it's pretty stupid that multiple kids have to gang up on someone else for a good time.  It raises serious concerns from my point of view, because the kids I want to protect are the smart ones, the free thinkers, the ones that could grow up and create some cool stuff.  Instead, we've been protecting the idiots.  That's my beef with bullying..

Can it be stopped?  Probably not in its entirety.  But it's about damn time we finally did something about it.

i concur. i've been called ugly, retarded, fat, gay, smelly, and many more. i was even made fun of because the way i walked. i was a loner, an outcast in high school. the way i see it, bullying helps no one. I'm also one of the kids who happens to be very intelligent in school. My grades only looked bad is because of the bullying, depression, even suicidal thoughts.
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I love to read books, just not your Bible. i support gay rights and women's rights. Why? Because i'm tired of the hate, stupidity, and your desire to control us all and make up lies.

Offline jeremy0

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #3 on: April 23, 2012, 11:27:16 PM »
Exactly.  In my experience, simply being considered an outcast or a loner by any means during school led bullied kids to drug abuse, traumatization, homocide, or suicide.  I've seen and witnessed on the news all of the above, on massive scales.

One kid I grew up with committed suicide a day after I was trying to help him from the people that were putting food in his hoodie.. I remember that real clear.  He was a good kid - could have grown up to have a good life.  Didn't deserve that kind of treatment from anybody..

And I can't fathom the retardation of the kids that keep saying on the news, over and over, 'he was bullied, but we never thought he would actually ____'.  WTF? 

The first two things I mentioned alone, can also lead the kid to developmental problems.  I've also seen that on many levels myself.  Case: Against a lot of crap that a kid might go through in his/her youth..
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Offline Timtheskeptic

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #4 on: April 23, 2012, 11:43:42 PM »
that's horrible what that kid went through. i'm only glad i didn't abuse drugs or anything like that. just suicidal. i have read a lot about bullied victims, even ones who took their own lives, what disgusted me even more is bullies stillbullying after their victim took their own life. What good does that do for anyone? What they said about some i heard about was revolting. he was a gay kid who was bullied because of his orientation and took his life. they said nastiest things about him, after his death. Especially that they were "weak." no, bullied victims were never weak, it's not even just words. it's deeply psychological and emotional i think, even physical.
Me:What are you looking at Eminem?
Brother: Nothing, Harry Potter.

I love to read books, just not your Bible. i support gay rights and women's rights. Why? Because i'm tired of the hate, stupidity, and your desire to control us all and make up lies.

Offline magicmiles

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #5 on: April 23, 2012, 11:59:55 PM »
I was bullied in school, and it was certainly a rough time. I ended up having to fight the silly prick, as nobody seemed to want to help. As they say, many bullies are cowards and once he realised I intended to fight back the issue was resolved. I won the fight too ( just sayin... )

Ever read Lord of the Flies? Think I've referenced it on this site before. To me, it contains a depressingly accurate portrayal of human nastiness.
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Offline kin hell

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #6 on: April 24, 2012, 12:32:32 AM »

Ever read Lord of the Flies? Think I've referenced it on this site before. To me, it contains a depressingly accurate portrayal of human nastiness ADDED superstition and god invention.

Agreed.   ;)


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Piggy, Simon, and Ralph are three important characters who represent the ethical, reasonable, morally correct and cooperative children on the island. The other boys, or savages, especially Jack and Roger, represent the rise of religion through fear and magic. When many of the boys reach the point of savagery, we begin to see a rise in religion, where the boys believe they are able to control their fear through magic.
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Offline Poseidon

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #7 on: April 24, 2012, 01:00:41 AM »
I hate bullies with an unbounded passion. In grade school I was not a runt but was a little smaller than many of the kids. I was bullied, it tore at my emotions. I could stand the pain but not the feeling of helplessness and despair. One day I decided that I would fight back even if I died at the hands of the bigger kid. My reasoning was that dying was preferable to being tormented.

The bully attacked me as usual, I had previously been afraid to fight back because if I hurt him he would punish me more. That reasoning was gone now. I fought back with a ferocity that had never before been witnessed at that playground. The bully landed in the hospital and I went home unscathed but a little scared of the wrath of his parents or the school principal. They never caused me any trouble and the bully never ever touched or insulted me again. The word got around.....It was: don't mess with Peanut because he is crazy enough to kill you.  I have never been an agressive person unless it became necessary to protect myself or other people. Those occassions have been very rare. When one exudes quiet confidence, it may be real or it may be phony, but it is a deterrent to those who would do you harm

There is more than one kind of bullying. Some "pillar of the community" adults, with certain personality traits, make a very good living by intimidating people. Other adults do it, not for profit but to prop up their egos. Matter of fact southern baptist preachers are masters of intimidation and they force their will on congregants. Some used car salesmen, politicians, corporate honchos, repo men, a certain brand of lawyers, and angry cops are bullies. Head to head confrontations are not usually profitable for we lesser people, but we can sure as hell make serious trouble for them after the fact. 

Offline Seppuku

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #8 on: April 24, 2012, 05:53:57 AM »
I was bullied at school and it sucked balls. My nick-name was 'cat-piss-boy' because my family owned (and still owns) many cats - we look after ones that couldn't find a home. They rarely tried anything violent, but their game was to taunt you, they wanted me to make the first swing and I refused to because I didn't believe it was right to start a fight, though in hindsight, I kinda wish I did, the bullies were weak and I knew fucking Karate....though it would be a contradiction to the attitude Karate teaches - still it would have been good to stand up for myself and get them off my back. However, my parents used to tell me to hit them because the teachers won't do anything[1]

So most of the bullying was verbal and it made me hate going to school and it really hurt my self confidence, so I can't see how bullying could be a positive thing - it hurt my character, not improved it. "Sticks & stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is complete bullshit. Because if this certainly was the case we'd have far fewer teenage suicides. And I think that's the important thing here, bullying can lead to suicide. So it's not a 'good' rite of passage if it makes you prefer death over the kind of abuse you get.

The self confidence I regained when it came to sixth form as all the bullies didn't stay on. Made friends with awesome people I barely even spoke to before and had a good time. And then at University, I made lots of friends too - hard to say that I wasn't confident because I happily starred in a naked calender, had my own radio show, got elected to be part of a student council and ran my own society as well as enjoying some awesome nights out partying.

Still, I'm not as confident as I was in my pre-bullying days; I used to be a lot less self-conscious.

I don't think I ever thought about suicide, but then it's not the kind of thing I'd think about, I knew that regardless of how shit it was, it could get better. Eventually that was true. In a way I am victorious. I met some of the most awesome friends I could ever meet, I've got an awesome family, I've got a decent education and that's more than some of those bullies ended up with.

For me there was poetic justice when I was in sixth form. Somebody walked in our common room with a local newspaper, it detailed how [name] was arrested after being drunk, threatening a taxi driver with a knife, stealing his car and crashing it into a tree and will face 3 years in prison. It put a massive grin on my face and people kind of thought it a little bit funny. The guy used to bully me and as the shithead was the only one hurt, I didn't feel wrong being extremely happy. There I was, getting an education and chilling out with good friends and he was probably about to face getting bum raped by a bunch of horny prisoners. Sure, I don't wish bad things happening to people, but I thought fuck it, I might as well enjoy the news.

So my message to anybody who's bullied is to persevere, you never know, you might read something entertaining in the news like that one day. :)
 1. basically, when my older brother and elder sister got bullied they did all of the 'proper' things people say you should do when it comes to bullying, parents made all the complaints they could but it didn't work - my brother on the other hand ended up kicking the crap out of one of his bullies and they left him alone after that.
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Online jetson

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #9 on: April 24, 2012, 06:55:17 AM »
Think about the goal of bullying.  Im making this up, but if you try to imagine the mind of a bully, you can easily conclude that he/she is trying to gain power.  And lots of that is done purposely in front of other kids.  The first one to call out someone for being outside of "the norm", i.e., fat, skinny, nerdy, gay - whatever...will basically capture the crowd, and thus gain power.  Then, when actual bullying begins, be it physical or otherwise, the crowd tends to support the bully.  We see it all of the time, don't we?

So, human crowds tend to want everyone to conform, be like them, not stand out, etc.  And all it takes is one "bully" to start a chain reaction.  And the victim is forever flagged.  Generally, I think, most people don't want to get involved, so the bully goes unchallenged.  In middle school and high school. the children are just not mature enough to step outside of the bullying and put a stop to it.  There are a few, here and there, but the crowds won't budge - too risky I guess.

Sad, but something we need to continuously work on, starting with parents, and their very young children.  If parents start out teaching their kids about the diversity of human races, genders, cultures, sizes, and shapes, we could get a better grip on the problem, IMO.

Offline Death over Life

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #10 on: April 24, 2012, 11:30:13 AM »
For me, the subject of bullying hits close to home because I’ve been a victim of bullying almost my whole life. I’ve always been the outcast, the loner, the one to pick on, although I did have a couple friends though.
I’ve been hit, called names, abused, exploited, just about everything under the sun. It’s just an interesting thought as I am such a different person now than I was as a kid.

The most interesting thing about bullying was I never fought back except a couple times or did anything to anybody. Why I say this is interesting is because bullying tended to be a phase. It was a phase because by the time I was in high school, all the bullies started treating me with respect, changed for the better, and just grew up. There were a couple that didn’t grow up however, and I for sure know 1 of them is dead thanks to the news.

In a way, as I am now looking back, I feel that I kind of deserved the bullying because of the fact that I personally do not like the way I was as a kid. I never cared much for appearance, and it bluntly showed, was always cowardly, timid, shy, weak etc. I was a very easy target for a reason.

Nowadays, I am none of the sort. I now have a sense of pride, am more outwardly spoken, confident, and although I’m still not big on appearances, I do now have a sense of dress I guess you could say.

Concerning bullying though, it sucks, and I remembered hating it. But what the victims need that they don’t usually get is self-defense and confidence. I wish this happened to me and I would like to take a couple classes, but I would recommend any victim of bullying to take martial arts classes. I really wish I had a couple martial arts classes available. Martial arts would definitely go after the issues I laid out both at the same time. What made me able to go through it all were endurance and video games. Video games are awesome and I still honestly can’t stand it when people try to put the blame on video games for people’s screw ups because I felt it was more of a life saver for me. And for fun, my 1st adult game I witnessed was Quake at the age of 10.

Reading some of the other comments made me remember, Columbine’s shooting was a result of 2 victims of bullying. Suicide is a problem, but if you push the right buttons, that suicide is a suicide by cop. That is actually the result of a lot of school shootings, by bullying.

Sad, but something we need to continuously work on, starting with parents, and their very young children.  If parents start out teaching their kids about the diversity of human races, genders, cultures, sizes, and shapes, we could get a better grip on the problem, IMO.

Good luck with that with Christianity having a death grip on the USA. And you are actually correct in the goal of bullying btw.

Online rev45

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #11 on: April 24, 2012, 12:07:42 PM »
I was bullied more in grade school than high school.  The guys in the grade above me loved pick on the underclassmen and it was never just one or two people doing the bullying, it was always a pack of people.  They were caught several times and the school officials never seemed to take a strong hand to them.

In high school I had a decent number of friends that didn't fit in with the jocks, the pretty people, or even the nerds.  But there were enough of us that nobody gave us any trouble.  Most of the bullying ended by my junior year of high school and so a lot us who were previously bullied were now calling out the underclassmen who were trying to bully others.  However, the one person in my class who was still a bully up to our senior year found himself knocked out on the gym floor when he pushed a freshman kid too far.  Took out my classmate with one punch to the face. 
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Offline velkyn

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #12 on: April 24, 2012, 01:07:00 PM »
Reading some of the other comments made me remember, Columbine’s shooting was a result of 2 victims of bullying. Suicide is a problem, but if you push the right buttons, that suicide is a suicide by cop. That is actually the result of a lot of school shootings, by bullying.

nice observation, DoL.  I agree.  I was bullied in grade school mostly. One girl, a grade up from me, constantly bullied me and I have not one clue why I was her target. In high school, I pretty much was so inoffensive, no one noticed me.  I finally did stand up to some bullies for my friend because I couldn't take them picking on him anymore. I'm sure he would have probably preferred the "girl" to stay out of it; but they did stop.   IMO, the biggest bullies in school were the gym teachers/coaches.  I'd still be quite tempted to do them grievous physical harm if I wouldn't be arrested.   
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Offline Timtheskeptic

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Re: Bullying
« Reply #13 on: April 24, 2012, 01:31:24 PM »
Reading some of the other comments made me remember, Columbine’s shooting was a result of 2 victims of bullying. Suicide is a problem, but if you push the right buttons, that suicide is a suicide by cop. That is actually the result of a lot of school shootings, by bullying.

nice observation, DoL.  I agree.  I was bullied in grade school mostly. One girl, a grade up from me, constantly bullied me and I have not one clue why I was her target. In high school, I pretty much was so inoffensive, no one noticed me.  I finally did stand up to some bullies for my friend because I couldn't take them picking on him anymore. I'm sure he would have probably preferred the "girl" to stay out of it; but they did stop.   IMO, the biggest bullies in school were the gym teachers/coaches.  I'd still be quite tempted to do them grievous physical harm if I wouldn't be arrested.   

gym teachers are likely bullies of course. in my high school, the coaches were nothing more than ignorant jocks who looks down on me. i didn't join in the gym activities because i was never wanted. Shame, if i had been a gym teacher, i would want to take the student and find out what was wrong and help fix it. I would even encourage teamwork and respecting each other, not mocking or ignoring outcasts.

I think it's foolish to be like, "I don't girls protecting me." when a boy was being picked on. Shame how they think that way. I do of course remember a counselor telling off this bully of mine. i was only worried that he'll just make my life even more than a living hell after that. He didn't.

Bullying is never ok, it's never a "rite of passage" and it's never acceptable no matter how long it has been going on for centuries or for thousands of years. Yes you see animals even bully another animal, but we are better than this. We may be animals too, but we should always be considerate to others, that includes towards animals.

 do remember that bullying even occurs to adults in workplaces. it's so pathetic and so shameful than people would act so damn infantile as to bully one another, especially as an adult. rite of passage my aching ass.
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I love to read books, just not your Bible. i support gay rights and women's rights. Why? Because i'm tired of the hate, stupidity, and your desire to control us all and make up lies.