Author Topic: Got Away  (Read 419 times)

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Offline Nick

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Got Away
« on: March 31, 2012, 03:55:14 PM »
Hey, I got home at noon today and there were 2 pamphlets rolled up in my front door handle.  Yes, JWs struck and I was gone.  Damn, I have waited so long to encounter some and the sneaky bastards got away.  I'm going to have to set a better trap for next time.

I guess they wanted to know if I knew Jesus.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline caveat_imperator

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Re: Got Away
« Reply #1 on: March 31, 2012, 05:34:57 PM »
Put some sticky traps out for them next time. ;D
You can't prove a negative of an existence postulate.

Offline Ambassador Pony

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Re: Got Away
« Reply #2 on: March 31, 2012, 05:51:15 PM »
It's their Easter drive. They do it every year.
You believe evolution and there is no evidence for that. Where is the fossil record of a half man half ape. I've only ever heard about it in reading.

Offline Whateverman

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Re: Got Away
« Reply #3 on: March 31, 2012, 07:31:34 PM »
Hey, I got home at noon today and there were 2 pamphlets rolled up in my front door handle.  Yes, JWs struck and I was gone.  Damn, I have waited so long to encounter some and the sneaky bastards got away.  I'm going to have to set a better trap for next time.

I guess they wanted to know if I knew Jesus.
I've found they tend to visit very frequently is they get a hint that you might be feeling depressed, or if your life aint going so well.  Toss a 6-pack of empties onto your front lawn, don't mow it for a month, and keep the shades lowered

They'll be back in no time...
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Compared to this thread, retarded midget wrestling for food stamps is the pinnacle of human morality.
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Offline Eddie Schultz

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Re: Got Away
« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2012, 04:58:51 PM »
I had a JW come to my door last year around this time. He had a 12 year old kid with him. So when I told them I was an Atheist, it shocked them noticeably.

The guy asked me why I didn't believe in "GOD", and I asked him "which one"?

I asked him for an email address so I can send him some literature to learn from rather than just believing what his holy book says. He told me he would read what I send him, and get back to me with his thoughts. Needless to say, he never replied to me.

BTW, I checked with Yahoo (which his email was connected) and he did give me the right email address, just chose not to reply.

Another BTW, I looked straight at the 12 year old and told him that knowledge is at his fingertips on a computer, or he can go to a library and seek the truth about ALL religions.

Thanks

Online nogodsforme

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Re: Got Away
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2012, 06:25:16 PM »
It's their Easter drive. They do it every year.

We got the seasonal pamphlet, too. I was a JW and I have been to enough "Lord's Evening Meals" already, thank you. Boooooring.  &)
Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.

Offline Hatter23

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Re: Got Away
« Reply #6 on: April 04, 2012, 09:23:04 AM »
It's their Easter drive. They do it every year.

We got the seasonal pamphlet, too. I was a JW and I have been to enough "Lord's Evening Meals" already, thank you. Boooooring.  &)

I got it too, but in Spanish.
An Omnipowerful God needed to sacrifice himself to himself (but only for a long weekend) in order to avert his own wrath against his own creations who he made in a manner knowing that they weren't going to live up to his standards.

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Offline Nick

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Re: Got Away
« Reply #7 on: April 04, 2012, 10:14:23 AM »
That's odd. Everyone knows God prefers English.  Just like Jesus spoke.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline inveni0

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Re: Got Away
« Reply #8 on: April 04, 2012, 01:59:25 PM »
It's as pointless to try to talk sense into a JW as it is to talk nonsense to an atheist.
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Offline Historicity

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Re: Got Away
« Reply #9 on: April 05, 2012, 06:02:22 PM »
I was working in a shop one day for a company and as always I left the door open for light and air.

2 young men approached in white shirts and ties.  I had no suspicion of what they were going to do because the probability was too high for suspicion.  As expected one of them said he was from the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints and did I know about the other gospel of Jesus?

I nodded politely to indicate that I did know and calmly said, "I'm an atheist." 

short pause.

"Well, then there's that," said the young man and they turned and left.

Offline Ice Monkey

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Re: Got Away
« Reply #10 on: April 05, 2012, 07:15:58 PM »
Hey, I got home at noon today and there were 2 pamphlets rolled up in my front door handle.  Yes, JWs struck and I was gone.  Damn, I have waited so long to encounter some and the sneaky bastards got away.  I'm going to have to set a better trap for next time.

I guess they wanted to know if I knew Jesus.

The chalk outline and the tattered Watchtower magazines I keep on my widewalk seems to have had an effect.

If you do answer the door to them, try one of these:
Open the door, looking rather frazzled.  "Have I asked Jesus into my heart?  Shit no, the place is a mess."
or
"Have I asked jesus into my heart?  We'll get to that but quickly, I need to know... do you have anything that will get goat blood out of carpeting?"
or
"I have my own religion already.  What is it?  Um, it's not legal in most municipalities, so I'd rather not discuss it with someone I just met.  You a cop?"
or, my old favorite (gotta do it with your eyes as widely open as you can make them)
"Hey! Hey!  Does anyone know where you are right this minute?  No?  Get in here!  I know stuff we can do to each other!"

But being rather lazy in my old age, if it's two males (works best with Mormons) I usually just turn to the inside of the house and shout "Honey, that... couple is here to discuss the flower arrangements!"  Turning back to the couple, smile wryly and say "Well look at you two.  You've already been at it thismorning.  I can tell.  I remember that look.  Can't wait until the Big Day, eh?"
Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion." -- Charlie Chaplin

Offline Chronos

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Re: Got Away
« Reply #11 on: April 05, 2012, 08:44:36 PM »
When you answer the door, tell them you work for the Red Cross and you are signing up people for a blood drive -- then ask them for their blood type.

John 14:2 :: In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

Offline Ice Monkey

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Re: Got Away
« Reply #12 on: April 05, 2012, 11:43:24 PM »
When you answer the door, tell them you work for the Red Cross and you are signing up people for a blood drive -- then ask them for their blood type.
Ha!

Just thought of the irony of a JW vampire.
Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion." -- Charlie Chaplin