I have an earnest question. The book you want us to revere contains stories of a god who actively participates in human events. Overtly. In the old testament he routinely goes postal on humans, in the new testament (which I am not very familiar with outside of the jesus story) he at at least f**ks with our heads. And he spent 4,000 years (if one is to believe fundy timelines) playing out a story (the fall/redemption), each part of which is useless without the others (A&E had to sin, JC had to be born, one of his disciples had to betray him, the Romans had to have a reason do zap him, his method of death had to allow him to have a few last words, his rising had to be impressive, etc.) A story that could have had a happier ending if he had just given the new kids on the planet a chance to mature and kept the frickin' snake out of the garden.
We live in a world that has, over time, generated an incredible array of fairy tales. I'm talking now about stories that everyone agrees are fairy tales. The stories the Grimm brothers published in 1812 were a collection of old euroasian tales, handed down over the ages. Stories that taught about basic human weaknesses, like greed and vanity and wisdom and such.
The Greek gods were a collection of human weaknesses with semi-superpowers. American Indians and Asian peoples and the natives of Africa all had stories, some attributed to gods, some just stories, that were used to teach children right from wrong, good from bad, etc.
Where are the fairy tales from the culture that gave us the bible? Where are their silly stories about foxes trying to get grapes out of a pitcher or poor little girls becoming princesses? Did they have none? Or did they have a bunch of them that became incorporated into one tome now considered by many to be true?
Your book has men in fish bellies, the feeding of many with small amounts of food, giant floods, escapes from evil tyrants, an origin story that is too frickin' cute to even discuss and the occasional lesson about being respectful of our elders, as the story questioned in the OP probably intended.
Can you see why there are those of us who, seeing no direct evidence of a god and see direct parallels between the christian stories and the non-christian stories of a thousand civilizations might not give the tale the weight you do? Can you understand that those of us who have experienced life sans god are not any worse off. Can you understand that in my half a century as an atheist I have suffered no major horrible events while many dozens of my christian friends and aquaintences have had to endure or died because of a huge assortment of tragedies. If there isn't at least some tiny hint of an advantage in being christian, where is the appeal?
I chalk the differences in peoples lives, the good and the tragic, to the luck of the draw, not the beliefs of the person whose children died or died a painful death of bone cancer. I am undoubtably due for my own death, and it might be quick or might be as bad or worse than any I have witnessed. But I've gone an awfully long time doing just fine for a sinner.
If the bible teaches us good ways to behave, those same lessons are available from thousands of other sources, many of which are rated PG. The addition of rage, revenge, mass death, fear and loathing, tests of faith and bad information may make for a best seller, but it is not necessarily useful.
And if personal redemption is an actual requirement, the least the guy could do is have two volumes, one full of dirt eating snakes and faulty lessons in genetics involving stripped sticks, and the other with the actual relevant stuff, metaphor free, in large letters, translated by him into the various languages of the world. Because what he has done up to this point is obviously pretty ineffective. Because it hasn't touched me.
If this god of yours is real, he does not appear to participate directly in our world any more. The only one writing on walls these days are Banksy and the lesser graffiti artists. The only ones clearly watching everything we do are our governments. The only ones curing disease are doctors and the only ones killing by the thousands are our fellow human beings. A real god might well be sitting back and just watching. But he should also be wondering how we turned out, in general, much more moral than he is. For as flawed as we humans are as a group, as individuals there are very few amongst us who would actually drown the entire planet just because we f**ked up and did it wrong the first time. And you can't say that about your sky guy.