Author Topic: Easter  (Read 414 times)

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Offline Nick

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Easter
« on: March 18, 2012, 04:42:05 PM »
Easter is right around the corner.  I want to be the 1st to wish all a Happy Zombie Day.  Don't forget to color your eggs and wait for the magic rabbit to visit your yard. After all the rabbit god died for your sins so you could live as you are now.  Seems like we should get gifts on this day also.  What's with that?
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline jetson

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Re: Easter
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2012, 06:37:59 PM »
Meanwhile, I'm getting caught up on "The Walking Dead", the zombie apocalypse series from 2010.  I've watched the first six episodes, and now I have to get 13 more from 2011.  Catching up is painful.  And what's up with Netflix not having both seasons?

Where were we?  Rabbits...

Offline nogodsforme

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Re: Easter
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2012, 08:25:08 PM »
The rabbit died? Well, thanks for nothing Rick Santorum. &)
Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.

Offline rev45

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Re: Easter
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2012, 08:30:59 PM »
^Santorum was too busy waging war on porn and telling Puerto Rico to speak American to care for the rabbit.
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Offline Nick

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Re: Easter
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2012, 08:41:20 PM »
^Santorum was too busy waging war on porn and telling Puerto Rico to speak American to care for the rabbit.
Yeah, that did him a lot of good.  Only got 8% of the vote.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline Astreja

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Re: Easter
« Reply #5 on: March 18, 2012, 11:25:35 PM »
How are you gentlemen!  All your Easter are belong to Us.

Please, feel free to enjoy mass quantities of chocolate and make liberal use of boomsticks as necessary.  *mutter mutter* Pesky zombies...
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Offline Death over Life

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Re: Easter
« Reply #6 on: March 18, 2012, 11:30:12 PM »
Come Easter, I'll enjoy some chocolate, some Metal Music, and some Pat Condell!


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Re: Easter
« Reply #7 on: March 18, 2012, 11:37:06 PM »
I keep wishing he'd been drawn and quartered. Wouldn't it be cool if all those cute church girls were wearing something depicting this around their necks?



He would have had to return four times instead of once, but I'm pretty sure the son of god could handle that.



Jesus, the cracker flavored treat!

Offline joebbowers

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Re: Easter
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2012, 12:59:05 AM »
Meanwhile, I'm getting caught up on "The Walking Dead", the zombie apocalypse series from 2010.  I've watched the first six episodes, and now I have to get 13 more from 2011.

It's a great series, but I love everything about zombies. I bought an Xbox 360 just to play Dead Rising. After you've burned through season two, you should download the comics. They're 94 issues in now, and the storyline doesn't mirror the TV show exactly so you don't really need to worry about spoilers.
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Offline velkyn

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Re: Easter
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2012, 12:43:23 PM »
ol JC coming out of his hole, on a random day that the Christians couldn't keep track of: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easter_controversy 

These Jews and Christians, can't keep track of some of the most basic things about their religions.

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Offline Nick

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Re: Easter
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2012, 12:44:36 PM »
ol JC coming out of his hole, on a random day that the Christians couldn't keep track of: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easter_controversy 

These Jews and Christians, can't keep track of some of the most basic things about their religions.
If He sees His shadow we will have 6 more weeks of Winter.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline Hatter23

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Re: Easter
« Reply #11 on: March 19, 2012, 02:51:56 PM »
Easter, the holiest day in the whole Christian calendar. But, somehow, they didn't even bother to rename it from the pagan holiday it co-ops? Seriously guys...that's just lazy.

And calculating Easter...it involves an  ecclesiastical full moon

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paschal_Full_Moon
An Omnipowerful God needed to sacrifice himself to himself (but only for a long weekend) in order to avert his own wrath against his own creations who he made in a manner knowing that they weren't going to live up to his standards.

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Offline nogodsforme

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Re: Easter
« Reply #12 on: March 19, 2012, 03:09:01 PM »
It all about fertility, baby. And that's about sex and well, babies. Making out like bunnies, making baby bunnies, eating baby bunnies, smelling the pretty flowers, enjoying sweet drinks, boozing and carousing and dancing around in the freshly plowed fields.

Christians took this perfectly wonderful celebration of nature and decided to slap a lot of suffering, torture and death onto it. Like there was not enough of that the rest of the year? Oh, kids, sorry, no more orgies, but you get to color eggs, hide them, find them and eat them. And wear a nice outfit to the suffering, torture and death meeting.

Leave it to the fundies to suck all the fun out of everything.
Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.

Offline Frank

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Re: Easter
« Reply #13 on: March 19, 2012, 03:20:15 PM »
ol JC coming out of his hole, on a random day that the Christians couldn't keep track of: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easter_controversy 

These Jews and Christians, can't keep track of some of the most basic things about their religions.

That's the problem with the Bible, no dates. Every major character in it allegedly lived entire lives without any dates. Christ is just one example. When was he born? Don't know. When did all the major evemts in his life happen? Don't know. When did he die? Don't know. All those disciples and not one of them remembered to write down a date for posterity. Amazing I could just as easily be talking about Moses, Noah, Samson, Saul/Paul. Didn't any of the disciples have birthdays? Apparently not.

When it comes to historical figures pharoas, emporers, kings, queens, etc etc we usually have at the very least a rough idea of when they lived and the dates of the events in their lives, usually from their contempories who lived at the same time. But when it comes to religious figures we have nothing. It's just conjecture and supposition. Apparently they did all this world changing stuff and nobody bothered to record when it actually happened.

I mean if you had been there when God created a pillar of fire and then parted the Red Sea and drowned Rameses entire army right before your eyes wouldn't you have written it down somewhere?
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Offline Hatter23

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Re: Easter
« Reply #14 on: March 19, 2012, 03:36:59 PM »
I mean if you had been there when God created a pillar of fire and then parted the Red Sea and drowned Rameses entire army right before your eyes wouldn't you have written it down somewhere?

Or if some King killed every male child under 5 in a region, this would be a very significant event, would likely have cause uprisings, not to mention a sever lack of military age men about 11 years later.

But somehow, the Bible writers are the only one to ever notice this phenomenon, and no neighboring kindom took advantage of a complete lack of military personnel a decade or so later
An Omnipowerful God needed to sacrifice himself to himself (but only for a long weekend) in order to avert his own wrath against his own creations who he made in a manner knowing that they weren't going to live up to his standards.

And you should feel guilty for this. Give me money.

Offline Frank

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Re: Easter
« Reply #15 on: March 19, 2012, 03:50:34 PM »
I mean if you had been there when God created a pillar of fire and then parted the Red Sea and drowned Rameses entire army right before your eyes wouldn't you have written it down somewhere?

Or if some King killed every male child under 5 in a region, this would be a very significant event, would likely have cause uprisings, not to mention a sever lack of military age men about 11 years later.

But somehow, the Bible writers are the only one to ever notice this phenomenon, and no neighboring kindom took advantage of a complete lack of military personnel a decade or so later

Not just military age what about marital age. Presumably all those young girls who grew up to find there was a severe shortage of men around their own age which in turn would lead to a shortage of children in future generations. My country lost an entire generation of young men in WW1. It took us decades to return our society to a semblance of male female equilibrium and I've no doubt it would not have been any different back then. Yet there is no mention of this dramatic shortage og males in any writing of the time. Why? Because it didn't happen.
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Offline nogodsforme

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Re: Easter
« Reply #16 on: March 19, 2012, 04:42:05 PM »
But believers insist that the bible is a history book. The only history book ever written with no dates, external corroboration or references to other contemporary events.

Just like Noah's global flood never happened because (among other impossibilities) it would have killed all the plant life and the planet would not have been able to regenerate.

Don't confuse them with the facts. &)
Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.