Author Topic: GOD HATES SHRIMP  (Read 487 times)

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Offline pingnak

GOD HATES SHRIMP
« on: March 14, 2012, 02:42:51 AM »

Offline magicmiles

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2012, 02:46:10 AM »
God hates roofers as well.

Matthew 28:20: "Lo, I am with you..."
Go on up you baldhead.

Offline magicmiles

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2012, 02:47:35 AM »
And did you know Moses wore a wig?

Sometimes he was seen with Aaron, sometimes without Aaron.

Ok, I'll stop before I get smited to oblivion.
Go on up you baldhead.

Offline Nick

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2012, 07:01:48 AM »
And did you know Moses wore a wig?

Sometimes he was seen with Aaron, sometimes without Aaron.

Ok, I'll stop before I get smited to oblivion.
So Donald Trump is a prophet. :)
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Online ParkingPlaces

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2012, 08:52:23 AM »
I've been hesitant, just because I didn't know how you guys would take it. But it's time for me to come out of the closet.

I like clam chowder. And crab cakes.

Please don't judge me. Accept me as I am. I'm the same ParkingPlaces, except now I feel free to sometimes wear a lobster bib in public.

Pink, of course.

Thank you for understanding.
Not everyone is entitled to their own opinion. They're all entitled to mine though.

Offline monkeymind

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2012, 08:55:07 AM »
Yeah, but God loves crawdaddies. Suck the head and eat the tail!
Truthfinder:the birds adapt and change through million of years in order to survive ,is that science, then cats should evolve also wings to better catch the birds
Mailbag:On a side note, back in college before my conversion, I actually saw a demon sitting next to me in critical thinking class.

Offline Nick

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2012, 09:30:36 AM »
I've been hesitant, just because I didn't know how you guys would take it. But it's time for me to come out of the closet.

I like clam chowder. And crab cakes.

Please don't judge me. Accept me as I am. I'm the same ParkingPlaces, except now I feel free to sometimes wear a lobster bib in public.

Pink, of course.

Thank you for understanding.
I think a public flogging is in order. ;)
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline rev45

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2012, 09:40:05 AM »
^Flogging by chicken?
Here read a book.  It's free.
http://www.literatureproject.com/

Could a being create the fifty billion galaxies, each with two hundred billion stars, then rejoice in the smell of burning goat flesh?   Ron Patterson

Offline pingnak

Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #8 on: March 14, 2012, 02:29:34 PM »
Yeah, but God loves crawdaddies. Suck the head and eat the tail!

Only crawdaddies with scales.

Online ParkingPlaces

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #9 on: March 14, 2012, 02:39:30 PM »
I've been hesitant, just because I didn't know how you guys would take it. But it's time for me to come out of the closet.

I like clam chowder. And crab cakes.

Please don't judge me. Accept me as I am. I'm the same ParkingPlaces, except now I feel free to sometimes wear a lobster bib in public.

Pink, of course.

Thank you for understanding.
I think a public flogging is in order. ;)

Will you be serving oysters? I love oysters!

Count me in.
Not everyone is entitled to their own opinion. They're all entitled to mine though.

Offline pingnak

Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2012, 03:32:40 PM »
But, only oysters with scales.

Offline Historicity

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2012, 04:04:30 PM »
If God hates shrimp, then why did He issue a protective order for them?


Offline monkeymind

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #12 on: March 14, 2012, 04:16:44 PM »
^^He really wants them all to himself. He shouldn't have made them so tasty.
Truthfinder:the birds adapt and change through million of years in order to survive ,is that science, then cats should evolve also wings to better catch the birds
Mailbag:On a side note, back in college before my conversion, I actually saw a demon sitting next to me in critical thinking class.

Offline ungod

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #13 on: March 14, 2012, 05:28:42 PM »
I guess catfish is now off my menu - no scales. If only I had known..... :(
Reason is a whore, the greatest enemy that faith has.
Faith must trample under foot all reason, sense, and understanding. - Martin Luther

"What good fortune for those in power that people do not think." - Hitler

Online ParkingPlaces

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #14 on: March 14, 2012, 07:10:49 PM »
I guess catfish is now off my menu - no scales. If only I had known..... :(

If you weight it, it has scales! See, loopholes everywhere.  ;D
Not everyone is entitled to their own opinion. They're all entitled to mine though.

Offline ILOVEYOU

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #15 on: March 14, 2012, 10:24:53 PM »
http://www.godhatesshrimp.com/

Just sharin'.

No.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's the shrimps sin that He hates.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    :P

Offline rev45

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #16 on: March 14, 2012, 10:41:34 PM »
Come get your Shrimp Sin Basket now at Red Lobster for $10.99.  Slow roasted over the pits of hell, battered in enough beer to make children you've yet to have sick.  We use our super secret sinful sauce on each piece of succulent shrimp to bring out that original sin flavor.  So stop in and have your very own Shrimp Sin Basket today at Red Lobster.  You'll have a hell of a time.
Here read a book.  It's free.
http://www.literatureproject.com/

Could a being create the fifty billion galaxies, each with two hundred billion stars, then rejoice in the smell of burning goat flesh?   Ron Patterson

Offline Azdgari

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #17 on: March 14, 2012, 10:45:05 PM »
Given its tendency to contradict Biblical dating techniques, I don't doubt that God hates SHRIMP.
The highest moral human authority is copied by our Gandhi neurons through observation.

Offline ILOVEYOU

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #18 on: March 14, 2012, 10:49:04 PM »
Given its tendency to contradict Biblical dating techniques, I don't doubt that God hates SHRIMP.
Why on Earth would you think that...? That's just plain silly.

Offline ILOVEYOU

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #19 on: March 14, 2012, 10:50:39 PM »
Come get your Shrimp Sin Basket now at Red Lobster for $10.99.  Slow roasted over the pits of hell, battered in enough beer to make children you've yet to have sick.  We use our super secret sinful sauce on each piece of succulent shrimp to bring out that original sin flavor.  So stop in and have your very own Shrimp Sin Basket today at Red Lobster.  You'll have a hell of a time.
Well, It looks as if I'm in a lot of trouble then. My family and I love shrimp. But we all know I'm not going to hell.

Offline pingnak

Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #20 on: March 14, 2012, 11:13:30 PM »
The last time I ate at Red Lobster was the one in Fresno.  Just a couple of weeks ago.

Is Lobster supposed to smell like the stagnant water under a pier?  That's what it smelled like.  I don't eat it enough to remember for sure, but I don't remember it ever smelling so... yucky.

But now one's opening within convenient walking distance of my home.  The problem is, I would have to walk past a much better seafood restaurant to get there, and if the 'Olive Garden' right next to that location is any indication, it will be mobbed by the same clueless idiots who stand in line, holding buzzers, waiting to eat the worst italian food, ever, while other, far better restaurants have seats available, nearby.

There's a good 10~20% chance the Red Lobster will drive a stake into the little seafood place's heart.  It'll open in summer, the time all the other restaurants are struggling to stay afloat.  And it will suck a lot of customers over to be turned off of seafood for who-knows-how-long.

Offline atheola

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #21 on: March 15, 2012, 02:47:11 AM »
It's as plain as the nose on your face all shrimp are gay as well or they wouldn't be called shrimp. They would be called big strapping strong republican sea food..and that's why god hates shrimp and fags.
You better believe it's not butter or you'll burn in hell forever and EVER!
Get on your knees right now and thank GOD for not being real!

Offline Nick

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #22 on: March 15, 2012, 09:36:38 AM »
Well, I'm going to have shrimp in about 2 hours.  We will see what happens. :-\
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline atheola

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #23 on: March 15, 2012, 12:23:25 PM »
Don't do it.. You'll grow man boobs and your penis will shrivel and DIE!
You better believe it's not butter or you'll burn in hell forever and EVER!
Get on your knees right now and thank GOD for not being real!

Offline Azdgari

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #24 on: March 15, 2012, 12:29:37 PM »
Given its tendency to contradict Biblical dating techniques, I don't doubt that God hates SHRIMP.
Why on Earth would you think that...? That's just plain silly.

Did you follow the link?
The highest moral human authority is copied by our Gandhi neurons through observation.

Offline velkyn

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #25 on: March 15, 2012, 01:03:24 PM »
Why on Earth would you think that...? That's just plain silly.

great!  We now have it that ILY thinks his bible and his god are *silly*.   
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Offline atheola

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #26 on: March 15, 2012, 02:12:11 PM »
Somehow I'm getting vibes that some of you consider *selected portions of the bible to be silly...let me call the psychic hotline for confirmation just to be sure.

*all of it
You better believe it's not butter or you'll burn in hell forever and EVER!
Get on your knees right now and thank GOD for not being real!

Online hickdive

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Re: GOD HATES SHRIMP
« Reply #27 on: March 15, 2012, 02:23:26 PM »
I normally only eat lobster I've caught myself but I had to throw the last one back as he was wearing a 50/50 polyester/cotton mix shirt.

Only one sin at a time for me. Saves time in church too as I can use the '5 Sins or Less' confessional.
Stupidity, unlike intelligence, has no limits.