I see people calling jakec47 'Jake' and I have a moment of going "I didn't say that drivel!"
So, jakec47, I must challenge you to a duel to erase your repugnant association with my good name (Jake™) from the face of the galaxy.
It is a matter of honor, you see. If you do not comply with what my honor demands, I will petition the forum administration to forcibly change your name to something more suitable and in no way associated with me. My honor demands this as, per its tenets, you are wicked and shameful to have associated yourself with my name, my identity on this public forum, and repugnantly represented positions of ignorance and foolishness.
It cannot be tolerated. It will not be tolerated. As the challenged party, you may choose, per my honor's mandates, the sword or the lance. Deny either and your entire village, as with yourself, shall forefeit your lands, holdings and titles followed thereafter by your lives.
...And I bet, right about now, you're pretty sure I'm not serious, yeah? Well, guess what; I am not insofar as the part about your village goes, but just to show you what it feels like to be arbitrarily determined to be wicked based on someone else's opinion, I am, in fact, going to petition HAL to change your forum name.
I might get rejected on the petition. I promise I'll be extremely persuasive though. It'll definitely be a matter for HAL to consider based on whether or not he wants to deal with you crying about it or not more than whether or not I've got a case.
It's a matter of honor, you see. Without honor there is no pride; without pride, no civility; without civility, no civilization; without civilization, we are naught but filthy barbarians.
It really doesn't matter what you think contrary though, so don't even bother arguing about it. You are a wicked individual per the tenets of my code of honor.
Now, of course, if you should like to be instructed in my code of honor and forswear yourself to both its obligations as with its defense throughout the whole of the civilized world and France, I would be more than happy to overlook this transgression in recognition of your commitment to rectifying the ignorance that brought you to this heinous offense.
If not, expect there to be no end to my methods of pursuit for your name to be changed. I swore to uphold this code and there shall be no exceptions for the midden-dwelling dogs that relieve of their urine upon it.
I shall give you 24 hours to decide upon which course of action you shall elect to, which shall, by its nature, determine my own.