Do you know of people who believe that they still own that which they gave to someone else? All I want is a simple yes or no.
Yes and No.
I know of NOBODY who believes that when they give something to someone, that they can then dictate what they do with it.
I know of NOBODY who would give away money and not give a toss about the use it is put to. If that were the case, then once you'd decided how much money you'd give to charity in a year (say), you'd just stuff it all in the first collecting bucket you saw, regardless of the cause. You'd not try to find a cause that you liked, nor would you try to find out if that charity spent 99% of their income on their cause, or spent 99% on admin and Xmas parties for the staff.
But on the other hand I know of LOTS of people who give something to someone because they believe there was a need to be addressed, who were then upset when the thing they gave was used for a different purpose than the one they believed they were giving the gift to address.
And I don't think there is anything particularly wrong with that. When you are giving something away, either there is a downside for you (you give away money you needed/wanted yourself), or it was something whose loss means nothing for you. Its only in the former case that altruism is involved, since a gift of something you don't want, need, or care about is only a polite form of trash disposal. And its probably a good thing for the species that we DO feel miffed when our gifts are not used in the spirit they were intended.
To give away something you need without consideration of where it is going would (in early evolution) have been the death-sentence of those particular genes: give away all your stuff to someone who will use it to destroy you? Good idea that! Likewise the genes that NEVER give away will die out - no reciprocality. So the genes that survive and prosper are the ones that promote some giving, but that tend to ensure those resources are not wasted from the perspective of those giving the gift.