Err, I just did. But why do you say this anyway?
It's an expression.
It was an example of people not giving. So what you're saying is that the example wasn't actually an example of what you wanted? That makes sense, given your more 'general-model" example above.
It was an example to point out that people expect others to use their gifts as they want them to, rather than how the people receiving them want to.
Obviously the people receiving said gift are not being disingenuous about their intentions in these situations.
According to you, the parents have no justification for feeling <insert negative emotion here> about the kid's decision to spend the money on beer. It was a gift, after all.
The emotions are not in question here; the belief that they still own, on some level, what they gave (id est: the origin
of said emotions) is. People have every right to feel bad when others don't do what they want. It's rational. They're going against their wishes. What's not rational is trying to exert control over possessions that one gave away.
Person A gives a piece of furniture to person B.
Person B, however, has no more room for furniture and so decides to give said piece of furniture to an abortion clinic.
Person A is upset, as they don't approve of abortions. They say that person B had no right to do that, as it had been a gift from person A, and therefore should only have been used for something that person A would approve of.
Same setting as example 1. However, instead of it being a piece of furniture, it's an ugly painting.
Person B informs person A of their intentions to give it to an abortion clinic.
Person A is very upset, makes the same argument that person B has no right to do that, and so person B decides to keep it.
After a long time, person B realizes that the painting is ugly, and throws it away.
Person A visits person B's house and asks where the painting is. After person B explains it, person A gets upset and once again says that person B had no right to do that, as it had been a gift from person A.
In both situations, their feelings are justified. The reasons for said feelings, however, are not. Person B received a gift and it is within their right to do as they please, not as person A pleases. Person B is not a slave, a tool or a warehouse.