Author Topic: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed  (Read 548 times)

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Offline Traveler

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Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« on: December 19, 2011, 10:40:55 PM »
I'm beginning to hate December. My breast cancer diagnosis and mastectomy were in December of '08. And now there's a suspicious area around my scar. I go in for a biopsy on friday. They say its not a breast cancer recurrance. But it might be a type of cancer that's caused by radiation treatment. Wouldn't that just suck??? My physical therapist, my oncologist, and a radiation oncologist brought in for a consult have all looked at it. They all don't like the looks of it, although they keep saying that type of cancer is rare, and it's probably no big deal. But all of them, all three, are worried, so of course now I am too.

Needless to say today has not been the best of days. I'm reminded of the thread on hope. Yeah, yeah, I've still got tons of hope. But I've also got tons of sadness tonight. I thought, when I was first diagnosed, that it would be slice, slice, off with her breasts, and then I'd be done. After all, I was supposed to be only stage 1. I woke to my oncologist telling me it had spread to my lymph nodes, and I was stage 2. Needed chemo and rads. That extra surgery and treatment has left me with lymphedema, lymphatic cording, and tightness in my chest from all the scar tissue. Now, if those rads have caused another cancer? I'm really hating this.

Anyway, just wanted to write this down. I know that many of you have been having rough times of one kind or another. So, you are not alone. And if you or anyone you know is struggling post-cancer, trust me when I say that life is never the same again. Be gentle with them. Be patient with them. Cancer sucks.
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave.

Offline rev45

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2011, 10:52:40 PM »
I recently had an aunt pass away from breast cancer.  It's a terrible thing for the person who's been diagnosed and for their friends and family.  Keep us updated.
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Offline jetson

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2011, 11:25:15 PM »
Sorry to hear Trav.  We are always here to listen, if nothing else.  I hate cancer too.

Offline Nick

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2011, 11:32:56 PM »
Traveler,
  Hate to hear that.  I'll be thinking about you.  One day at a time.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline Herenow

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2011, 12:42:28 AM »
I'm sorry to read this, Traveler, and am sending healing and loving thoughts your way. I have recently followed my brother's friend's posts for over a year on the Caring Bridge and she is finally at a good place for now, and I have also shaved a friend's sister's head and driven her to chemo, and she is no longer with us, but watching her brave battle made me appreciate my own time on this earth, and from those brief encounters I can only wish the very best for you each and every day. Hang tight.

Offline Traveler

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2011, 10:50:02 AM »
Thanks everyone. It means a lot that people care, even if I only know you through my computer screen.

Herenow, I had a really great experience with shaving my head. I was told when I started chemo that it would start to fall out at about the two week mark. So two friends and I gathered at day 12. We had pizza. One of my friends was a dog groomer and she brought her tools. First she shaved the sides of my head, leaving a long piece along the top and down the back (I had very long hair). We braided it and took pictures. I looked like a mongol warrior. Then she shaved the rest of it and we took more pictures. And here's where it gets even better. My other friend shaved her head in support of my cancer journey! I felt so cared for, and so understood. A day that could have been overwhelmingly sad turned into a little party full of giggles and hugs and support. I'll never forget how good that felt. I think one of the scariest parts of cancer is how alone one can feel, and that day I felt only love.
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave.

Offline Nick

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2011, 11:12:16 AM »
Thanks everyone. It means a lot that people care, even if I only know you through my computer screen.

Herenow, I had a really great experience with shaving my head. I was told when I started chemo that it would start to fall out at about the two week mark. So two friends and I gathered at day 12. We had pizza. One of my friends was a dog groomer and she brought her tools. First she shaved the sides of my head, leaving a long piece along the top and down the back (I had very long hair). We braided it and took pictures. I looked like a mongol warrior. Then she shaved the rest of it and we took more pictures. And here's where it gets even better. My other friend shaved her head in support of my cancer journey! I felt so cared for, and so understood. A day that could have been overwhelmingly sad turned into a little party full of giggles and hugs and support. I'll never forget how good that felt. I think one of the scariest parts of cancer is how alone one can feel, and that day I felt only love.
Very nice !!! :)
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline velkyn

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #7 on: December 22, 2011, 01:06:28 PM »
Hope things are working out Trav.

If  I get cancer and have to shave my head, I shall become Spider Jerusalem. Muhahhahaaaa. 

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Offline albeto

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #8 on: December 23, 2011, 01:29:45 PM »
Good luck today, Traveler.  I hope things go in your favor.


Offline Gnu Ordure

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #9 on: December 23, 2011, 01:37:13 PM »
 :(

Big hug, Trav.


Offline Traveler

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #10 on: December 23, 2011, 02:32:20 PM »
Thanks, guys.  :)

She took a bigger chunk out of me than I expected. Enough to require a stitch. I was expecting just a skin scraping. I won't have results probably until late next week. She says it usually takes at least four working days, but the christmas weekend might slow things down. I hated being back in a breast cancer center. There were too many reminders of the hell that was my 2009. So now I get to wait and worry. Not what I wanted for christmas, that's for sure. I'll let you know as soon as I have results.
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave.

Offline shnozzola

Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #11 on: December 23, 2011, 02:39:02 PM »
I get ya.  My sister had 1 breast removed this fall, and Johns Hopkins has her in the middle of the chemotherapy regimen now.  She's lucky to live fairly close.  Her hair is gone now - I like her better bald than with the wig - I'm so proud of her.  You, Traveler, and my sister, have amazing strength - NEVER give up! 
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Offline Traveler

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #12 on: December 23, 2011, 07:34:31 PM »
Thanks, shnozzola, and hugs to your sister!!!

I was given a wig by the American Cancer Society. It was beautiful, but after wearing it for the hour it took to get home, I took it off and never wore it again. Itchy, hot, uncomfortable. And it felt like I was hiding what I was going through. Instead, I bought several pieces of beautiful fabric and made triangular scarves out of them. I tied them around my head and felt like a pirate.  ;D I know some people want to hide what they're going through and try to live as normally as possible. More power to them. I found that I wanted to acknowledge what I was going through, and felt like a cancer warrior (rather than survivor ... that feeling came later in the process). I felt that by not hiding what I was going through, people would feel welcome to bring it up. I got tons of people wanting to talk about their own cancer experience, or about a family member or friend who was going through it. I found it very supportive and validating, that I wasn't alone. I also chose not to reconstruct, partly for these kinds of reasons. This is who I am now. Not whole, not perfect, but alive and still smiling.

I hope your sister has an easier time of it than I had, and I hope that she comes through with flying colors!!!  :)
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave.

Offline Nick

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #13 on: December 23, 2011, 08:59:39 PM »
Arrrrrrr, Traveler.  You know you could start a new business with your scarves.  Market them to people in your situation instead of the hot ichy wigs.

I admire the way you are dealing with your cancer.  Keep up the fight.  Have a great holiday season.  Make 2012 great for yourself.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline Chronos

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #14 on: December 23, 2011, 09:23:49 PM »
Sorry to hear about the need for a biopsy (just now reading this). I have a friend who went through breast cancer treatment and not quite 5 months after her chemo and radio was over, the doctors found she has had a recurrence of it.  Anyway, she is an interior designer and she used scarves rather than wigs. She did have one wig that she used for a special occasion where pictures were taken and she didn't want cancer to be the memory in the photo, hence the wig. But, that was about the only time she wore it. She has kept a short hairstyle since, but she has also started chemo again.

Chemotherapy is just brutal.

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Offline Brakeman

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #15 on: December 24, 2011, 01:26:27 AM »
In my weird world, when I start to think "why Me?", I think back to how lucky I've been. I was born into a good loving family, I had a great childhood. I was very healthy then so I know what it's like to run, jump, play, swim, ride a bike, read a book, and listen to beautiful music. I was handsome enough for young girls to go googoo over and I loved the attention. I was smart enough to be high in my classes, second to non if I really applied myself. I traveled, got married to the love of my life, had beautiful daughters and a job I liked. I made enough money to buy a big house and have more toys than most people.

So if I die tomorrow of a stroke, get my legs cut off in a car accident, or die a lingering death with cancer, I've already had a better life than 99.99999 percent of mankind in history. I'd be pretty damn selfish to complain. I would complain, no doubt, but in the back of my mind I would know just how fortunate I've been.

Good luck Traveler, I'm rooting for you!.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2011, 01:28:59 AM by Brakeman »
Help find the cure for FUNDAMENTIA !

Offline Samothec

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #16 on: December 24, 2011, 01:53:12 AM »
I'm sorry to hear about this. I didn't know what the issues from your first bout with cancer were (lymphedema, lymphatic cording) so I looked those up and I have to say you are dealing with all of this very well.

While I'm great at finding the dark cloud to go with the silver lining, I can at times find the silver lining others don't always find. Just from what you've said: I see someone who can deal with significant problems on a daily basis and do that without whining or getting delusional. So read or watch something that makes you laugh to lift your mood – even if only briefly (and repeat as necessary) – and realize that you've already shown great strength that I don't foresee vanishing.
Faith must trample under foot all reason, sense, and understanding. - Martin Luther

Offline wright

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #17 on: December 24, 2011, 01:59:52 AM »
Your courage and determination in this situation is amazing, Traveler. Thanks for sharing; you have some outstanding friends.
Live a good life... If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. I am not afraid.
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Offline kin hell

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #18 on: December 24, 2011, 02:20:14 AM »
Travel well Traveler

I hope the new year brings good news for you. The human organism is a random fragility, I admire your persistence of equanimity very very much.

best wishes mate
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Offline Brakeman

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #19 on: January 01, 2012, 07:54:46 PM »
Trav,

I got a cartoon for you.. you know that laughter is the best medicine..

Help find the cure for FUNDAMENTIA !

Offline Traveler

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Re: Bad Day - Biopsy Needed
« Reply #20 on: January 01, 2012, 08:20:39 PM »
lol!

I still have no news. I had hoped I'd hear something friday, but no such luck. The office re-opens tomorrow (tuesday), so hopefully they'll know something then.
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave.