First of all,
in practice, there's
very little difference between your approach, my approach, and his approach. As for what my approach actually is:
1. I believe that all of reality is physically deterministic.
[1]2. The emotions one experiences
[2] when one thinks of one's self as having free will are essential to functioning as a human being. The absence of the emotions one experiences
[3] when thinking of one's self as lacking free will is similarly essential.
3. Those emotions are not rational. They are arbitrary outcomes of our biology. I've had some success conditioning myself to feel the reverse of what I described; full success would
almost completely solve the problems with adopting a deterministic outlook.
4. To completely solve the problems you've brought up
[4], we also must understand concepts like "responsibility" in such a way that they make sense from a deterministic perspective. I
think I've succeeded at this, and am open to discussing it further. The problem is akin to that of a theist who becomes an atheist but retains their belief that without a god, we have no morality. A different moral paradigm is needed for that person, since they have only "half-way" abandoned their theism.
Does that help, Gnu?