Author Topic: Ridiculous things Christians say/do  (Read 595 times)

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Offline kaziglu bey

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Ridiculous things Christians say/do
« on: December 11, 2011, 11:15:08 AM »
I never cease to be amazed at the irony of Christians.  A person on my friends list on facebook just posted that she stayed home from church with a sick kid. LOL! What does that say about faith? Why is it that Christians take their kids to the doctor rather than church when they are sick? Is it because doctors actually have the ability to, you know, make a difference? If God can heal the sick, wouldn't a church be a great place for a sick kid, especially with all of those other believers present to enhance the magical aura? Truly there is a "miracle" to be made here! Instead, this person is choosing to stay at home and do devotionals on what it means to be princesses to a King. That is just some seriously sick and twisted shit, and I don't even know what else to say about it.

On a related note, pretty much every morning I get a coffee from the gas station/convenience store just down the street. Most mornings there is a lady who works there and tends to the coffee station (it gets REALLY busy in the morning, being right next to a major high school). She also lives nearby. She is definitely very devout, always saying things like the book will tell us what we need to do and to trust God and all of that crap.

The other day, she commented to me on how she had just had Jehovah's Witnesses come to her door, and how she thought it was so offensive and rude for them to do so. I chuckled and pointed out that a faith whose primary leaders have made numerous false predictions about the end of the world is hard to take seriously. She agreed. Little did she know, this could also apply to Jesus. I chose not to engage in that discussion with her though. After all, she does make my morning coffee, and I don't want to piss her off. Of course, I assume that "No True Christian" would ever harm a non-believer right?

"If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers; Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you ... Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him: But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people. And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die." -- Dt.13:6-10     (thanks to the Skeptic's Annotated Bible).

Oops, wrong!

Then there's the "Jesus is the reason for the season!" crowd. Jesus Christ, these people piss me off. Even religious scholars admit that Jesus wasn't born on December 25. The only reason that Christmas is celebrated at this time is because pagan festivals like Saturnalia and Yule were being celebrated, so it was easy to get away with their celebration. The Romans (and other pagan equivalents) were too drunk/hung over to give a shit WHO people were celebrating. As Christianity gained more people, its leader saw this as convenient, and a way of gaining converts to New Religion by allowing them to continue to practice their own customs, just under a  new Brand Name.  It would be like if Reebok took over Nike, and allowed them to have all of their own unique styles still, just under the Reebok name. That hardly means that Reebok can say they are the reason for Air Jordans. Yet the flock insists that we accept this.

Sorry if this is kind of ranting, but I have very few (if any) local outlets in which to vent my frustrations with the believing crowd. It sucks having a hard time being accepted for being an entirely rational person.
Seriously though... What would happen if the Great Green Arkleseizure didn't fram up the rammastam before the hermite curve achieved maximum nurdfurdle velocity? Now THAT would be something. AmIrite?

Offline ParkingPlaces

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Re: Ridiculous things Christians say/do
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2011, 11:30:37 AM »
The ridiculousness gets multiplied by the customization many of them are guilty of. How many Christians agree totally on what heaven is like, what hell is, where the flood water came from, or whether or not the genesis story is metaphor or literal? So as they say things that are patently ridiculous, they ignore the only real fact: that they don't even agree with anyone else about what the truth is.  At least not with any precision.
Not everyone is entitled to their own opinion. They're all entitled to mine though.

Offline kaziglu bey

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Re: Ridiculous things Christians say/do
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2011, 06:28:40 PM »
Also, having been raised Catholic, I remember learning about the 7 deadly sins, one of which is gluttony (as I understand it, eating/consuming in excess), another sloth (being lazy, unproductive).. Ok, so maybe those aren't really such bad suggestions. Moderation is not a bad thing, being productive is generally good.

But, wait, what's this? All of these Catholic Feast Days to celebrate saints? I really don't think something can be properly considered a feast unless it involves excessive eating, and I don't think people who have just stuffed themselves (and likely drank themselves half to death) are in a position to be productive. How then can it possibly be acceptable to honor these Saints by engaging in 2 deadly sins? It would be interesting to hear a Catholics response to this, because it sure never made sense to me.
Seriously though... What would happen if the Great Green Arkleseizure didn't fram up the rammastam before the hermite curve achieved maximum nurdfurdle velocity? Now THAT would be something. AmIrite?

Offline Nick

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Re: Ridiculous things Christians say/do
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2011, 07:19:00 PM »
Simple...you party and feel guilty the next day and confess it and go on. 
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline free

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Re: Ridiculous things Christians say/do
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2011, 07:30:47 PM »
I got a dose of it tonight as a matter of fact.  Just returned home from an early Christmas feast with my girlfriend's religious Catholic family.  In addition to insulting their priest and local bishop, they also eat like pigs and kept their usual collective obesity.  Breaking two of the sins already mentioned, plus directly slandering their priest and bishop.   I'm sure there is something in the bible for that one.

Offline kaziglu bey

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Re: Ridiculous things Christians say/do
« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2011, 07:46:31 PM »
Oh gee, I forgot! Being Catholic, it matters more that you tell a pedophile your sins than to actually avoid sinning. I remember asking as a kid "Well, if someone can request forgiveness on their death bed and be saved, does that mean that Hitler, if he asked forgiveness before he died, would be saved and go to Heaven, in spite of the horrendously egregious amount of evil he prepetrated?". This is when they would start squirming like they are experiencing sudden and violent diarrhea. However, they force out that "Yes, he would." So much for morality. You can commit evil on a global scale, but as long as you are willing to kiss God's ass on your deathbed, then you get saved. Not much incentive to do good is it? But then, the Catholic Church is hardly known for its good deeds. You'll never see the headline "Pope sells all of the gold and jewels in Vatican City, and uses the money to buy 500 million condoms for distribution in Africa to prevent the devastating spread of the AIDS virus". You will NEVER see that, yet that is EXACTLY the type of shit JESUS would have done. What does it say about Faith when the Pope appears in public being paraded around in a specially made vehicle with bulletproof glass, surrounded by a small army of indisputably loyal "bodyguards"? I suppose though, that if God can't stop iron chariots, he probably can't stop bullets either.

I think this REALLY begs the question though: If, according to Catholic teachings, one can confess their sins and be wiped clean, so to speak, and be saved, then, if Satan were to ask forgiveness, would Satan be permitted to exit Hell and enter heaven? After all, if one takes the Bible as evidence of Satan's deeds, he killed/tortured a lot less people than Hitler. One might argue "But Satan is not a person". Perhaps not, but he still falls under the category of "God's Creation" not "God". Do God's laws not affect God's creation? If not, why would he fault Satan for not going along with him? There's just so many problems with it all, no matter how you look at it.
Seriously though... What would happen if the Great Green Arkleseizure didn't fram up the rammastam before the hermite curve achieved maximum nurdfurdle velocity? Now THAT would be something. AmIrite?

Offline kaziglu bey

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Re: Ridiculous things Christians say/do
« Reply #6 on: December 11, 2011, 07:48:00 PM »
I got a dose of it tonight as a matter of fact.  Just returned home from an early Christmas feast with my girlfriend's religious Catholic family.  In addition to insulting their priest and local bishop, they also eat like pigs and kept their usual collective obesity.  Breaking two of the sins already mentioned, plus directly slandering their priest and bishop.   I'm sure there is something in the bible for that one.


free, I used to love the antics of people as soon as Church let out. A mad dash to get to the door to be the first one out of the lot to avoid the parking lot traffic jam. Horns, middle fingers, insults flying everywhere, so that they could be the first person to the bar/home to watch the game. I remember wondering as a kid just how these people could have INSTANTLY forgotten what they supposedly learned . I remember thinking what bad examples they were all setting for young people, and in the eyes of the Lord. Your situation illustrates this perfectly. Of course, Jesus wasn't always respectful of the local priestly faction either, perhaps they feel they are following in Jesus' footsteps, you know, just being an annoying asshole to the establishment and talking shit and trashing their stuff.
Seriously though... What would happen if the Great Green Arkleseizure didn't fram up the rammastam before the hermite curve achieved maximum nurdfurdle velocity? Now THAT would be something. AmIrite?

Offline free

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Re: Ridiculous things Christians say/do
« Reply #7 on: December 11, 2011, 10:06:51 PM »
I got a dose of it tonight as a matter of fact.  Just returned home from an early Christmas feast with my girlfriend's religious Catholic family.  In addition to insulting their priest and local bishop, they also eat like pigs and kept their usual collective obesity.  Breaking two of the sins already mentioned, plus directly slandering their priest and bishop.   I'm sure there is something in the bible for that one.


free, I used to love the antics of people as soon as Church let out. A mad dash to get to the door to be the first one out of the lot to avoid the parking lot traffic jam. Horns, middle fingers, insults flying everywhere, so that they could be the first person to the bar/home to watch the game. I remember wondering as a kid just how these people could have INSTANTLY forgotten what they supposedly learned . I remember thinking what bad examples they were all setting for young people, and in the eyes of the Lord. Your situation illustrates this perfectly. Of course, Jesus wasn't always respectful of the local priestly faction either, perhaps they feel they are following in Jesus' footsteps, you know, just being an annoying asshole to the establishment and talking shit and trashing their stuff.

Naturally, I don't see any of them as the foundation of any major religious movements however.  The topper, which I forgot to mention, was my GF's cousin (10 years old) being praised for offering to pray for his parents' home sale to go through.  I almost lost it.  They even told him that he might make a good priest one day.  Another 10 year old, turned over to the brain washing and hope of magic in place of reason.

Offline kaziglu bey

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Re: Ridiculous things Christians say/do
« Reply #8 on: December 14, 2011, 09:16:38 AM »

Naturally, I don't see any of them as the foundation of any major religious movements however.  The topper, which I forgot to mention, was my GF's cousin (10 years old) being praised for offering to pray for his parents' home sale to go through.  I almost lost it.  They even told him that he might make a good priest one day.  Another 10 year old, turned over to the brain washing and hope of magic in place of reason.

That is sad. It pains me to see children led down a path of ignorance by their parents. Boy, will he be disappointed when, at 11 years old, he doesn't get a letter from Hogwarts.
Seriously though... What would happen if the Great Green Arkleseizure didn't fram up the rammastam before the hermite curve achieved maximum nurdfurdle velocity? Now THAT would be something. AmIrite?

Offline kaziglu bey

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Re: Ridiculous things Christians say/do
« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2011, 07:31:25 PM »
Another thing to add to the list. Just these evening here in Erie, a female police officer was struck by an SUV. apparently she has a nasty head injury, among others. A former coworker of mine (a TrueChristian who's husband is a police officer) posted on Facebook that this officer needs prayers. I wanted to post that what she really needs is a doctor, but had the restraint not to.
Seriously though... What would happen if the Great Green Arkleseizure didn't fram up the rammastam before the hermite curve achieved maximum nurdfurdle velocity? Now THAT would be something. AmIrite?