Author Topic: The airspeed velocity of a ... three-winged angel?  (Read 426 times)

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Offline Fiji

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The airspeed velocity of a ... three-winged angel?
« on: December 06, 2011, 02:53:56 AM »
Ain't much here to debate, so I figured I'd put it in chatter

http://quran.com/35/1

Angels with three wings? not three SETS of wing ... three wings ... how does that work? Or is this the Quran making excuses for the unintelligent design we see throughout nature?  :laugh:
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Offline Nick

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Re: The airspeed velocity of a ... three-winged angel?
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2011, 04:05:24 AM »
Are they counting the tail as a wing?  3 wings seems unbalanced and all things must be balanced.
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

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Offline hickdive

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Re: The airspeed velocity of a ... three-winged angel?
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2011, 05:04:39 AM »
Laden or unladen?
Stupidity, unlike intelligence, has no limits.

Offline Fiji

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Re: The airspeed velocity of a ... three-winged angel?
« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2011, 05:50:10 AM »
well, there are no coconuts mentioned in either Eden of heaven so, what would they be laden with?
Science: I'll believe it when I see it
Faith: I'll see it when I believe it

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Offline hickdive

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Re: The airspeed velocity of a ... three-winged angel?
« Reply #4 on: December 06, 2011, 06:27:47 AM »
Apples, there are definitely apples.

Or snakes.
Stupidity, unlike intelligence, has no limits.

Offline free

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Re: The airspeed velocity of a ... three-winged angel?
« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2011, 07:12:50 AM »
Ain't much here to debate, so I figured I'd put it in chatter

http://quran.com/35/1

Angels with three wings? not three SETS of wing ... three wings ... how does that work? Or is this the Quran making excuses for the unintelligent design we see throughout nature?  :laugh:

My first impression was, The Qur'an 'proving' that God is a more powerful creator than we think.  He can make something as unthinkable and looney as a flying creature with three wings.

Given that angels with wings would achieve flight through moving their wings (unlike a plane which relies on the Bernoulli principal), I can only imagine this as some sort of helicopter angel.  But that's probably what the theists wanted, people to admit they can't imagine it.

Offline Fiji

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Re: The airspeed velocity of a ... three-winged angel?
« Reply #6 on: December 06, 2011, 08:03:45 AM »
Well, a fair chunk of Sura 35 IS all about how this, that and the other thing is EEEEEEEAAAAAASY for Allah ... so, yeah, it basically is Allah showing off.
'Oy! Look what I did, me! I's made me an angel with three wings, I did!'
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Offline hickdive

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Re: The airspeed velocity of a ... three-winged angel?
« Reply #7 on: December 06, 2011, 08:14:40 AM »
'Oy! Look what I did, me! I's made me an angel with three wings, I did!'

"No it isn't. It's just a four-winged angel you've pulled a wing off."
Stupidity, unlike intelligence, has no limits.

Offline Fiji

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Re: The airspeed velocity of a ... three-winged angel?
« Reply #8 on: December 06, 2011, 08:49:51 AM »
'Oy! Look what I did, me! I's made me an angel with three wings, I did!'

"No it isn't. It's just a four-winged angel you've pulled a wing off."

"Is so!" *hides ripped off wing in Satan's back pocket*
Science: I'll believe it when I see it
Faith: I'll see it when I believe it

Schrodinger's thunderdome! One cat enters and one MIGHT leave!

Without life, god has no meaning.

Offline Nick

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Re: The airspeed velocity of a ... three-winged angel?
« Reply #9 on: December 06, 2011, 09:53:12 AM »
This begs the question...Why wont God heal a 3 winged angel?
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

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Offline hickdive

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Re: The airspeed velocity of a ... three-winged angel?
« Reply #10 on: December 06, 2011, 09:56:07 AM »
"Is so!" *hides ripped off wing in Satan's back pocket*

Is not! Look, you can see the stump.
Stupidity, unlike intelligence, has no limits.

Offline Fiji

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Re: The airspeed velocity of a ... three-winged angel?
« Reply #11 on: December 06, 2011, 10:36:24 AM »
"Is so!" *hides ripped off wing in Satan's back pocket*

Is not! Look, you can see the stump.

Wot? That? That's a vestigial ... erm ... a vestigial ... Hey, look over there, it's the Flying Spaghetti Monster having a thumbwar with Cthulhu! *makes get away*
Science: I'll believe it when I see it
Faith: I'll see it when I believe it

Schrodinger's thunderdome! One cat enters and one MIGHT leave!

Without life, god has no meaning.

Offline hickdive

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Re: The airspeed velocity of a ... three-winged angel?
« Reply #12 on: December 06, 2011, 01:22:58 PM »
Wot? That? That's a vestigial ... erm ... a vestigial ... Hey, look over there, it's the Flying Spaghetti Monster having a thumbwar with Cthulhu! *makes get away*

Vestigial? But it's still bleeding!

Now look here, me laddo, I didn't get where I am today without being able to recognise the bleeding stump of a four-winged angel thats had one ripped off in order to masquerade as a three-winged one when I see it!

It is a defaced angel, disabled, crippled if you will. When it joins the choir immortal it will be at the back with the ones that can't sing or have boils or facial ticks. It is, frankly, duff and I demand me money back!
Stupidity, unlike intelligence, has no limits.

Offline kcrady

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Re: The airspeed velocity of a ... three-winged angel?
« Reply #13 on: December 07, 2011, 02:23:55 AM »
Maybe the three-wingers are flightless, like kiwi birds, and use their wings for display?  Or they're non-migra'ory.

Actually, I think it's kinda hilarious that the Quran says angels have wings at all.  In the Bible, angels just look like human men, sometimes with Day-Glo special effects.  The only ones with wings are the Seraphim, and they've got six each...plus four heads and hooves.  They kinda get a mulligan for weirdness, because they don't travel around that much.  But in the Quran, angels apparently actually need wings to fly, which kinda dampers the whole "They're spirit-magic sparklypoo special!" thing down quite a bit, doesn't it?  "Um, Allah?  The wings are...OK and all, but...well, we've been talking, and we'd be willing to give them up if you could give us F-22's instead.  Because those fucking rock, and it's kinda not fair that only American infidels have 'em.  Plus, it'd be a whole lot easier to wear bomber jackets if we didn't have these things sprouting out of our backs.  And the feathers always make such a mess."
"The question of whether atheists are, you know, right, typically gets sidestepped in favor of what is apparently the much more compelling question of whether atheists are jerks."

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Offline kcrady

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Re: The airspeed velocity of a ... three-winged angel?
« Reply #14 on: December 07, 2011, 02:26:13 AM »
Wot? That? That's a vestigial ... erm ... a vestigial ... Hey, look over there, it's the Flying Spaghetti Monster having a thumbwar with Cthulhu! *makes get away*

Vestigial? But it's still bleeding!

Now look here, me laddo, I didn't get where I am today without being able to recognise the bleeding stump of a four-winged angel thats had one ripped off in order to masquerade as a three-winged one when I see it!

It is a defaced angel, disabled, crippled if you will. When it joins the choir immortal it will be at the back with the ones that can't sing or have boils or facial ticks. It is, frankly, duff and I demand me money back!

"Look, you silly bastard, your wing's off!"
"No it isn't!"
"Well what's that then?" *points sword at severed wing on the ground*
"It's just a flesh wound!"
"The question of whether atheists are, you know, right, typically gets sidestepped in favor of what is apparently the much more compelling question of whether atheists are jerks."

--Greta Christina

Offline Fiji

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Re: The airspeed velocity of a ... three-winged angel?
« Reply #15 on: December 07, 2011, 03:43:22 AM »
Wot? That? That's a vestigial ... erm ... a vestigial ... Hey, look over there, it's the Flying Spaghetti Monster having a thumbwar with Cthulhu! *makes get away*

Vestigial? But it's still bleeding!

Now look here, me laddo, I didn't get where I am today without being able to recognise the bleeding stump of a four-winged angel thats had one ripped off in order to masquerade as a three-winged one when I see it!

It is a defaced angel, disabled, crippled if you will. When it joins the choir immortal it will be at the back with the ones that can't sing or have boils or facial ticks. It is, frankly, duff and I demand me money back!
<continuing your line>
Look, this is an ex-angel, it has ceased to be an angel, it has gone to meet its maker ... you! Probably to have a word about this fine print regarding wing removal at your sole discretion.
Allah sighed ... the breath of life ... and accidentally created yet another universe. He made a mental note TO QUIT DOING THAT and stuffed the universe under the carpet of the multiverse. There, humans would never notice it there.
He turned his attention back to the nay-sayer, whom he resolved to cast into the fires of gahannam ... if he ever managed to get the furnace started, when another disturbance presented itself. Muhammed.
Allah sighed again and shoved another universe under the rug. "What's it now, Muhammed ... I ain't giving you any more excuses to marry yet MORE women! Keep your dick in check for once!"
"It's not that, of most merciful."
To alleviate his stress, Allah tossed a busload of schoolchildren into a ravine somewhere and laughed heartily as their bodies got torn to shreds. "Huh? What did you say."
Muhammed gulped as he watched the few survivors perish in the subsequent ball of fire, "I said, 'most merciful'."
"Yes, yes," Allah waved his hand dismissively, causing a hurricane in Cuba ... well, they were athist anyway, why should he care, "what was the problem?"
"Well, you see, I had my people proofread Sura 36 and ..."
"Proofread?! I'm the infallible creator of the universe!" He eyed the multiverse and muttered 'universeS'.
"Yes, truly ... still, this verse here ..." Muhammed showed Allah http://quran.com/36/36
"So? What's wrong with it? Boy squirrell meets girl squirrell and they make lots of rotten little squirrells."
"Well, you see, there are plants ... and animals who reproduce asexually."
"Such as?!"
"Well, dandelions for one."
"Dandelions?!!!" Allah got ready to smite all the dandelions, but Vishnu stopped him.
"Oy, I like those!" Vishnu exclaimed, giving Allah the finger ... thrice.
"Well it's too late now to rework the whole damn thing, just distribute it 'as is'," Allah sighed another universe into existance.
Popcorn started emmenating from Allah's pants (the song, not actual roasted corn). Allah retrieved his Nokia and answered it.
"Good morning, sir, reality control here. I have a message from Stephen Hawkin for you, 'Could you please stop creating universes, we're the ones who have to keep track of em, you know.'"
Oops, mustn't piss of The Hawkin ... "Sorry!" he shouted down to one of the minds far greater than his.
"I'm going back to bed."
"Alone, I hope," muttered Muhammed under his breath, "I still remember what happened last time you took a 'virgin' with you."
Science: I'll believe it when I see it
Faith: I'll see it when I believe it

Schrodinger's thunderdome! One cat enters and one MIGHT leave!

Without life, god has no meaning.