Author Topic: Answering Lance's call  (Read 2076 times)

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Offline Lance

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #58 on: December 05, 2011, 11:38:21 PM »
and those evidence are from the past. I'm talking about the NOW evidence! geez

Offline Historicity

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #59 on: December 05, 2011, 11:39:33 PM »
in archeology the evidence we use today is something that's already been there whereas it's from the past but you cannot use something that's actually happened now and investigate the past. i guess this one will jus go right through ur little head too

Word salad.

Offline curiousgirl

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #60 on: December 05, 2011, 11:49:16 PM »
what can I say, takes an extrodianary man to make an extrodianry claim to support an extrodianry cause.

Your insults are rendered impotent by your inability to spell and put a decent sentence together, which also makes you look like more of an idiot.

How I love to poke the troll with a stick.
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."-Carl Sagan

Offline Add Homonym

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #61 on: December 05, 2011, 11:51:46 PM »
Hey, Lance, would you say that your revelations of God, prior to ever reading the Bible, were similar to those of a schizophrenic?

Can you explain what God told you about truth, prior to you ever reading the Bible?
Humans, in general, don't waste any opportunity to be unfathomably stupid - Dr Cynical.

Offline Lance

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #62 on: December 05, 2011, 11:57:12 PM »
@ curiousgirl the fact that you're gonna point out incorrect spelling shows what little else you have LOL

Offline curiousgirl

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #63 on: December 05, 2011, 11:59:07 PM »
^^^Exhibit A: the pot calling the kettle black.
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."-Carl Sagan

Offline curiousgirl

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #64 on: December 06, 2011, 12:04:14 AM »
Hey, Lance, I have a question for you. Why would an omnimax God choose an idiotic little twit like you to be his representative? Surely, he could have done better. I mean, he supposedly created the universe. And you were the best he could muster to answer our questions?  &)
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."-Carl Sagan

Offline Alzael

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #65 on: December 06, 2011, 12:06:45 AM »
Hey, Lance, I have a question for you. Why would an omnimax God choose an idiotic little twit like you to be his representative? Surely, he could have done better. I mean, he supposedly created the universe. And you were the best he could muster to answer our questions?  &)

That's enough. I'm removing his off-topic posts when he makes them, but don't provoke him with things like that which he won't be able to respond to now. Keep it on topic and relevant, curiousgirl. At least for now.
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Offline Lance

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #66 on: December 06, 2011, 12:10:31 AM »


Irrelevant content removed. -Alzael
« Last Edit: December 06, 2011, 12:11:51 AM by Alzael »

Offline curiousgirl

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #67 on: December 06, 2011, 12:10:50 AM »
OK, Alz, will do.

I have a sincere question for Lance. Why would an omnimax God allow sin to begin with when it causes such extensive damage?
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."-Carl Sagan

Offline Mr. Blackwell

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #68 on: December 06, 2011, 12:11:39 AM »
Hey, Lance, I have a question for you. Why would an omnimax God choose an idiotic little twit like you to be his representative? Surely, he could have done better. I mean, he supposedly created the universe. And you were the best he could muster to answer our questions?  &)

Don't you GET it? He's outwitting us all! It's really very simple you see, He has answered ALL our questions. Yet we still choose to not accept his version of God. Therefore we are stupid. We are stupid because we will not recognize the TRUTH! YEAH! He has already told us several times that he is not a liar so what other explanation can there be? God is the Truth and the Light but we have chosen darkness and rebellion just like LUCIFER! Satan is our master and we shall share the same fate as him. Redemption. There is no escaping the plain fact of the matter, God will save us all! We shall be baptized in a sea of fire!

Edit for effect.

Lance, do you think we choose our own darkness?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=CD6VgRUE1y0

« Last Edit: December 06, 2011, 12:33:39 AM by jaybwell32 »
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Offline Lance

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #69 on: December 06, 2011, 12:12:11 AM »


Irrelevant content removed. -Alzael
« Last Edit: December 06, 2011, 12:13:36 AM by Alzael »

Offline curiousgirl

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #70 on: December 06, 2011, 12:15:21 AM »
OK, I will try again with a different question.

Lance, why should Adam and Eve be punished for eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil when (even with God's command beforehand) they had no concept of what right and wrong were before eating the fruit?
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."-Carl Sagan

Offline Lance

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #71 on: December 06, 2011, 12:17:46 AM »
curiousgirl - Alzeal keeps deleting my post. i'm in another thread at

Irrelevant and vulgar content removed. -Alzael
« Last Edit: December 06, 2011, 12:20:19 AM by Alzael »

Offline curiousgirl

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #72 on: December 06, 2011, 12:21:51 AM »
Lance, if God is omnimax, why did he not just put Satan in the lake of fire before he tempted A&E with the fruit?
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."-Carl Sagan

Offline Lance

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #73 on: December 06, 2011, 12:29:21 AM »
curiousgirl - i'm six zones under ya. Looking up at ya, i can't quite focus on you're question. BTW - this glo-balls will delete me fo sure!

Offline kin hell

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #74 on: December 06, 2011, 12:54:58 AM »
You said that you’d come here to dance Lance.
You can’t claim you’ve not had fair chance.
Just cause you fancy,
Your prancing here pants free,
That sad thing that’s got you entranced Lance
‘snot just a shrunkhead idol perchance?
'Cause it's seen with one glance
You kneed to enhance
The meat of the myth you advance Lance.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2011, 12:57:13 AM by kin hell »
"...but on a lighter note, demons were driven from a pig today in Gloucester."  Bill Bailey

all edits are for spelling or grammar unless specified otherwise

Offline Lance

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #75 on: December 06, 2011, 12:57:27 AM »
hey not bad - in terms of peotry structure. as for thoughtfulness - baseless. lol

Offline kin hell

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #76 on: December 06, 2011, 01:00:58 AM »
hey not bad - in terms of peotry structure. as for thoughtfulness - baseless. lol

come on you know the meat will inherit the earth

you like to have that pound cake and meat it too don't you Lance

Or was that just you having your pound of flesh?

"...but on a lighter note, demons were driven from a pig today in Gloucester."  Bill Bailey

all edits are for spelling or grammar unless specified otherwise

Offline Lance

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #77 on: December 06, 2011, 01:05:45 AM »
meat? the hell u talking about?

Offline kin hell

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #78 on: December 06, 2011, 01:23:55 AM »
meat? the hell u talking about?

typical xian, have to bring hell into it.  What are you a monk monkey dressed up as a friar?

It's called beating a dead horse Lance.

Did you realise that mewling noise was the sound effect of crossing a horse with an ass?

Shakespeare (your namesake) noted this in his all the worlds a stagecoach monologue.

....As, first the infant,
Mewling and puking in his nurses arms......

but that was only the first of seven   (after which no doubt all good boys go to heaven).

But that's another story I guess, however, it is important not to confuse muleskinning with mulesing.
Mule (that horse and ass cross bearer) skinning was the art of keeping a team of mules in control.

Mulesing on the other hand is much more apt for sheep, where strips of woolbearing skin are stripped away from the buttocks of sheep to prevent flystrike.
ie. once you rid the area of the shitfilled dags that hang around sheep's arse (not to be confused with the aforementioned cross bearing horses ass), the rank and flies are not so prevalent.

But still those sheep must bleat.



« Last Edit: December 06, 2011, 01:27:24 AM by kin hell »
"...but on a lighter note, demons were driven from a pig today in Gloucester."  Bill Bailey

all edits are for spelling or grammar unless specified otherwise

Offline kcrady

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #79 on: December 06, 2011, 09:39:00 AM »
Lance: You have claimed that by praying for divine wisdom, a believer can outwit all of the scientists on Earth.  Could you please pray for divine wisdom, and then post a method for achieving cold fusion as an energy source?  If Yahweh tells you that cold fusion is physically impossible, could you please ask him to choose some other problem scientists presently can't solve (it can be a protein-folding problem, proof or refutation of string theory, whatever), and present you with the answer?  Then, you can post Yahweh's answer (please include all relevant equations) here, so that we may be in awe of Yahweh's wisdom and the wonder of your relationship with him.

Thanks in advance.
"The question of whether atheists are, you know, right, typically gets sidestepped in favor of what is apparently the much more compelling question of whether atheists are jerks."

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Offline kaziglu bey

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #80 on: December 06, 2011, 10:04:06 AM »
Lance: You have claimed that by praying for divine wisdom, a believer can outwit all of the scientists on Earth.  Could you please pray for divine wisdom, and then post a method for achieving cold fusion as an energy source?  If Yahweh tells you that cold fusion is physically impossible, could you please ask him to choose some other problem scientists presently can't solve (it can be a protein-folding problem, proof or refutation of string theory, whatever), and present you with the answer?  Then, you can post Yahweh's answer (please include all relevant equations) here, so that we may be in awe of Yahweh's wisdom and the wonder of your relationship with him.

Thanks in advance.

This should be a supremely easy task for Lance, as nothing will be impossible to those who have faith. God said so, right?
Seriously though... What would happen if the Great Green Arkleseizure didn't fram up the rammastam before the hermite curve achieved maximum nurdfurdle velocity? Now THAT would be something. AmIrite?

Offline kaziglu bey

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #81 on: December 06, 2011, 10:35:35 AM »
OK, I'm willing to concede that it is just not likely that I will get a satisfactory response to my original questions. Fine. New question then.

In Exodus 8:2, God tells pharaoh that if he refuses to release the Hebrews, then he will smite their borders with frogs. Now, I realize that God specifically designed the plagues to be personally insulting to the Egyptian pantheon. However, if God is all powerful, and wants to teach pharaoh and his gods a lesson, why doesn't he do something more impressive, that only THE GOD could do? For example, why did God not smite their borders with B-2 Stealth Bombers? Wouldn't a few dozen planes, each dropping 50,000 lbs of ordinance (or 16 B61/B83 Nuclear Bombs, suck on THAT pharaoh) make a more significant, lasting and effective demonstration of God's power? Or was God more interested in instigating a fight to prolong and maximize human suffering than actually freeing his Chosen People (after all, they were supposedly waiting like 400 years)? Why not go with the Stealth Bomber? Nothing says "I am gonna OWN your ass" like a Stealth Bomber. Don't even TRY to say that Stealth Bombers were not invented yet. That should not even be a consideration for God. Stealth Bomber>Border Frogs. Every time. A large black object flying miles overhead, followed by a mushroom cloud 11 miles high, 7000 degree heat, and an enormous shock-wave measurable on the Richter scale, probably would have changed pharaoh's mind (or melted it. Either way, God 1, Pharaoh 0.) in a far more effective manner than a bunch of horny frogs. So, bottom line, why is God more concerned with a prolonged dick measuring contest while watching people suffer and die than actually getting results?
Seriously though... What would happen if the Great Green Arkleseizure didn't fram up the rammastam before the hermite curve achieved maximum nurdfurdle velocity? Now THAT would be something. AmIrite?

Offline Lurking

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #82 on: December 07, 2011, 02:54:28 AM »
I would also like to throw in my two cents about this one, as I’ve only seen people addressing the first Lance quote I provide here, but not the second one (I might have missed it, sorry in advance if I did.
…..2. no. i will use my experience to answer this. I was an atheist before and for some reason i cannot agree with atheism because of it's rather ignorant doctrines and unexplained tenets.
Something doesn’t make sense here. An atheist is simply someone who doesn’t believe in any god or gods or anything like that. Nothing else. No “doctrines” or “tenents” involved. You thinking that it does, means you have no “experience” in atheism, at all.

Quote from: Lance
@ Kaziglu at first i don't have faith in teh Bible god so i prayed to the god of truth only.
Well, if you prayed to the “god of truth”, it means that you were a…wait for it….theist.
 Atheists don’t believe in the existence of any god or gods. Also not in a “god of truth” or the christian god or the muslim god or  “god of luck” or the “god of love”, etc. No god at all. You praying to the “god of truth” means that you were certainly not an atheist and therefore have absolutely experience in atheism. It is dishonest to pretend that you were one.


Offline Iamrational

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #83 on: December 07, 2011, 01:14:27 PM »
Nothing says I own you more than a bunch of frogs hopping around your land yelling "Budweiser"

Offline Hatter23

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #84 on: December 07, 2011, 03:32:50 PM »
@ you all! before you read my posts can u at least read it before judging me as "reeks" and whtanots. no wonder you people will  know anythign because you're quick to judgement than understanding - typical atheist i might add.

Quick to judgement? You've had 120 posts so far to say something intelligent. As it stands you haven't even managed a completely coherent sentence. Nor can you even properly punctuate one.


Don't make blanket statments here. He has made coherent sentences, even correctly punctuated one. The first claim you make, nothing intelligent. That's a judgement call, but at very least 3/4 of his post betray his lack of understanding.



You can't answer simple questions. You lie repeatedly. You've dodged a rather large pile of posts. You're trying to talk about a religion you know absolutely nothing about (which you already demonstrated forus). You constantly contradict yourself, shall I go on?

He has answered simple questions; those with simple comfortable answers. I can't quite see the lies you talk of(he did come up with a explanation of the age thing...even if I still can't quite believe him)But dodging and contradictions? Oh yes, he's got that in spades.



I don't need to read your posts to know it's going to stupid. You've left over 120 posts behind you as evidence to support that as a valid conclusion. Anytime you want to actually say something intelligent and try to have a meaningful conversation be my guest. Given your established pattern, it's fairly safe to say it'll never happen, but I always leave room for me to be surprised.

Edit:Oh yes, and that's also another ad hominem that you've made as well.

I too have drawn the conclusion he will write something stupid. I too use his posting history as a conclusion: evidence?



Lance on maturity:
Quote from: Lance
although i know i'm gonna be banned eventually when one of the glo-balls enters i will stay until the end!


Lance on understanding about community rules
Quote from: Lance

I will do as i please and if i get banned so what? I live as I live and no one can dictate me not even those who are lucky technology is around! man to man they are nothing!

Lance on humility and understanding why an extraordinary claim need extraordinary evidence
Quote from: Lance

what can I say, takes an extrodianary man to make an extrodianry claim to support an extrodianry cause.

Lance on understanding his position in the community, civility, and showing his excellent grammar
Quote from: Lance
@ Alzeal of all the people in here you are the most idiotic and cowardice of them all. the fact that you are gonna block my thread shows how much courage you have. if you don't like my comments leave them as it's only in one thread and let others response. why can't you even do that? you can't because you are a control-freak. no wonder you're the moderator. I wish we are face to face buddy. you'll see more than stars in one glimpse.


Lance on understanding what "observable and repeatable" means
Quote from: Lance

in archeology the evidence we use today is something that's already been there whereas it's from the past but you cannot use something that's actually happened now and investigate the past. i guess this one will jus go right through ur little head too


Lance understanding of the word "sacrifice" because having a crappy three day weekend for your sins is the same as being dead
Quote from: Lance


"Dying for something when you know you'll be resurrected is not a sacrifice.It's a parlour trick." What an idiotic statement. So dying is nothing so long you are resurrected. It's takes a whole lot of guts jus to know you're gonna die an awful death wehter you'll be resurrected is another question. What a cowardice quote!




Lance on understanding that opinions cannot be formed in a vacuum
Quote from: Lance

emily my dear, "without outside interpretation." meaning outside influence, you have to use your own mind, not somebody elses


Lance on integrity
Quote from: Lance

i don't give a damn about dodging

Lance on not getting "interpretation" is just moveing the goalposts
Quote from: Lance
See that's ur problem because you're interpreting the Bible verse by verse, literally. The Bible is a word of art when you know you don't need to quote but rather use it in parables. That's how understanding is for the Bible.



Lance on demonstrating he is an adult
Quote from: Lance

EPIC Fail with that comment. lol

Lance on understanding "observable and repeatable" means
Quote from: Lance

you can't use the present to investigate the past rather the other way around." that's why you can't use science to explain God.

Lance on understanding "observable and repeatable" means

Quote from: Lance

Science and God will never mix because science is based on trail and error whereas God is the source of everything. How can you take something from the present adn use it to investigate something from the beginning. only idiots do that! ha!


Lance on circular reasoning
Quote from: Lance

you asked and i answer! between my answer and you is none of my business. that's why tehre's freewill - you decide. one thing i would add is there are alot of what i call "filter holes" in the Bible where it lays out a tricky verse for the faithless. It's a tricky thing and the bible even has a "firewall" to protect it from people like you to pervert it.

Lance on avoiding the question.
Quote from: Lance

Cain's wife is from Nod and you have to understand that his wife is not the issue here that's one thing you have to understand in the bible. by the time Cain left Eden people were already populating the world hence the "mark on Cain."

« Last Edit: December 07, 2011, 03:34:46 PM by Hatter23 »
An Omnipowerful God needed to sacrifice himself to himself (but only for a long weekend) in order to avert his own wrath against his own creations who he made in a manner knowing that they weren't going to live up to his standards.

And you should feel guilty for this. Give me money.

Offline Alzael

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #85 on: December 07, 2011, 03:36:53 PM »
I can't quite see the lies you talk of(he did come up with a explanation of the age thing...even if I still can't quite believe him)But dodging and contradictions? Oh yes, he's got that in spades.


I was referring to other threads with the lying part. I hadn't read most of this one at the time.
"I drank what?!"- Socrates

"Dying for something when you know you'll be resurrected is not a sacrifice.It's a parlour trick."- an aquaintance

Philip of Macedon: (via messenger) If we enter Sparta, we will raze all your buildings and ravage all your women.
Spartan Reply: If.

Offline Hatter23

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Re: Answering Lance's call
« Reply #86 on: December 07, 2011, 03:45:22 PM »
I can't quite see the lies you talk of(he did come up with a explanation of the age thing...even if I still can't quite believe him)But dodging and contradictions? Oh yes, he's got that in spades.


I was referring to other threads with the lying part. I hadn't read most of this one at the time.

Perhaps if you concretely show how you came up with the conclusion his is a liar by quoting him, just as I came up with concrete evidence that he is rude, obnoxious, immature, has poor writing skills, and quite stupid...just by quoting him.
An Omnipowerful God needed to sacrifice himself to himself (but only for a long weekend) in order to avert his own wrath against his own creations who he made in a manner knowing that they weren't going to live up to his standards.

And you should feel guilty for this. Give me money.