This topic is great. It demonstrates, in a very simple and easy to read way, how these fables were never meant to be deconstructed, let alone by a 21st century mind.
It always struck me as weird that basically Yahweh had to re-design *EVERY* animal on Earth once Eve ate the magic fruit. I mean plenty of animals are clearly in pain during childbirth, so that curse carried over. So did dying, apparently.
And so did the whole "THINE BODY SHALT NO LONGER PROCESS NUTRIENTS PERFECTLY, AND SO TRULY I SAY UNTO YOU, THOU SHALT POOP AND PEE FOREVERMORE!!!" gimmick when he had to re-wire the bodies of every living thing to make room for a biological waste system.
That's a lot of buttholes to create over one little apple.
Anyway, I too wonder what the original naming system was. I doubt Adam was creative to come up with thinks like "Hippopotamus" or "Rhinosaurus" or "Albatross". I get the feeling everything would have been named "Oog" or "Ug-tug" or some derivitive. Tug-Ug, Oog-Ug, etc.
Seems like a complete waste of everybody's time in the wake of the Babel story, but hey, Yahweh's got a plan. And personally, I think it's total genius to make his plan appear exactly like an endless string of fuck-ups and misfires.