Author Topic: Lets have fun  (Read 420 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Poseidon

  • Graduate
  • ****
  • Posts: 399
  • Darwins +24/-0
Lets have fun
« on: October 28, 2011, 04:41:57 PM »
We are kind of single minded here. We bash theists at almost every opportunity.

How 'bout we take a break and do something fun, like write limericks?  Moderately ribald is OK, religious ones will do.

A geologist digging at Gnossal
uncovered a fossil collosal
he could tell by the bend
and the shape of the end
Twas the peter of Paul the apostle.


A limerick packs laughs anatomical
into space that is  most economical
but the good ones I've seen
so rarely are clean
and the clean ones so rarely comical.


Offline pingnak

Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2011, 04:50:37 PM »
While offending theists is fun
it's impossible not to be done
one can't comment on weather
without tweaking the nether
of some conservative wanna-be nun

Offline pingnak

Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2011, 04:57:33 PM »
Open Source software is free!
It practically falls off a tree!
Though some claim to hate it,
they are compensated,
by microSOB's own Billy G.


Offline Poseidon

  • Graduate
  • ****
  • Posts: 399
  • Darwins +24/-0
Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2011, 09:57:27 PM »
Way to go Pingnak.

Offline pingnak

Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2011, 11:33:31 PM »
Writing lyrics isn't real hard
here I am, nearly a 'tard
just throw in some words
like grunting out turds
and people say you're da bard!

Offline EV

  • Postgraduate
  • *****
  • Posts: 624
  • Darwins +52/-1
  • Gender: Male
  • Philosopher, Atheist, Musician, Philanthropist
    • My Website
Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #5 on: October 31, 2011, 04:46:43 PM »
Christians bow down on their knees,
In vain attempt to rightly please
Jesus, lord God,
The "all powerful" sod...
but Why Won't He Heal Amputees?
Quote
"Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative."
- Philosopher John Stuart Mill, from a Parliamentary debate (May 31, 1866);

Offline pingnak

Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #6 on: October 31, 2011, 06:16:49 PM »
Christians on knees, eyes shut tight
open mouths to speak the light
the holy ghost, a randy dude
thinking thoughts ungodly lewd
sticks it in; it fits just right.

Not outdone, muslims on faces
several times a day to give their graces
face down, ass to sky
their faith surely not a lie
take it up the arse on a routine basis.




Offline pingnak

Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #7 on: October 31, 2011, 06:24:50 PM »
Little Johnny liked to masturbate
from early morning until late
"What you do to yourself, you do to god"
said the pastor, that's no fraud
now Johnny jerks off to venerate.

Offline jtp56

  • Graduate
  • ****
  • Posts: 406
  • Darwins +4/-66
  • Gender: Male
  • WWGHA Member
  • User is on moderator watch listWatched
Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #8 on: October 31, 2011, 06:25:30 PM »
Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools.
To the dogmatic scientific community they became tools.

Teaching falsehoods and a major lie.
What fate when they die.

They falsly claim science is on there side.
With only death ahead of them, the end of the ride.

They demand proof in a healed amputee.
At my age I pray I can go pee.

What is the prayer against aging and the tomb.
Who cares if you have all your limbs at your doom.



Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools.

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

Offline pingnak

Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2011, 06:32:44 PM »
While they speak of hellfire and the tomb
they fill themselves with delusions and gloom
they fear every instant some small mistake
one little misstep is all it would take
forever fearing their own miserable doom.

Online JeffPT

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 2064
  • Darwins +221/-0
  • Gender: Male
  • I'm a lead farmer mutha fucka
Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #10 on: October 31, 2011, 06:35:36 PM »
This jtp guy is a card
A lymric is not very hard
You rhyme first line with next
Third with fourth line of text
Can't do it? What a fucking retard


Whenever events that are purported to occur in our best interest are as numerous as the events that will just as soon kill us, then intent is hard, if not impossible to assert. NDT

Offline pingnak

Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #11 on: October 31, 2011, 06:49:14 PM »
When one's faith is weak
and demeanor not meek
look for other men
to be holier than
and make of one's self a reek.

Offline Mr. Blackwell

  • Fellow
  • *******
  • Posts: 2685
  • Darwins +76/-23
  • Gender: Male
Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2011, 06:53:11 PM »
Why won’t God heal amputees?
Will someone explain this to me please?
He turns a blind eye,
no matter how hard we try.
I guess he’s just some sort of sleaze.
I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering, "I love you" repeatedly as they struggle to break free.

Offline jtp56

  • Graduate
  • ****
  • Posts: 406
  • Darwins +4/-66
  • Gender: Male
  • WWGHA Member
  • User is on moderator watch listWatched
Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #13 on: October 31, 2011, 07:11:37 PM »
I didn't know this was to be a limerick
So by you I'm called a stupid prick
By your side that is what you do
Disagree so your stupid, too
Because your world view is sick.

An aside,  aren't limericks supposed to have the same number of syllables in each line?  Yours do not if the answer is yes, neither does mine.  It's been so long since I've played these stupid games, I honestly can't remember.

Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools.

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

Offline pingnak

Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #14 on: October 31, 2011, 07:15:41 PM »
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry)

Religionists are such a pain
they do nothing in life but complain
their life is a bore
for their gods they whore
and pretend that madness is sane.

Offline violatedsmurf80

  • Graduate
  • ****
  • Posts: 392
  • Darwins +2/-0
  • Gender: Male
Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #15 on: October 31, 2011, 07:24:22 PM »
A rabbi from far-off Peru
was desperately trying to screw.
His wife said, “Oy vey!
If you keep on this way
the Messiah will come before you.”
When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.”--- Sinclair Lewis

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

Offline pingnak

Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #16 on: October 31, 2011, 07:32:19 PM »
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_scandals_involving_evangelical_Christians

If 'god is almighty' is true
and worth all the worship it's due
why would god settle
for folks of weak mettle
to represent it as its crew?


Offline pingnak

Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #17 on: October 31, 2011, 08:07:27 PM »

http://artoftrolling.memebase.com/2011/10/31/irl-troll-money-is-better-than-death

Say 'hello' to our douchebag du jour
of salvation he's absolutely sure
for a dinner tip
he gives them the slip
the tract is fake money; a lure!

Online JeffPT

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 2064
  • Darwins +221/-0
  • Gender: Male
  • I'm a lead farmer mutha fucka
Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #18 on: October 31, 2011, 09:16:54 PM »
I didn't know this was to be a limerick
So by you I'm called a stupid prick
By your side that is what you do
Disagree so your stupid, too
Because your world view is sick.

You're stupidity is making me sick
I never did call you a prick
When you read the OP
You can easily see
He asked you to write a limerick
Whenever events that are purported to occur in our best interest are as numerous as the events that will just as soon kill us, then intent is hard, if not impossible to assert. NDT

Offline mrbiscoop

  • Postgraduate
  • *****
  • Posts: 939
  • Darwins +31/-2
  • Faith is not a virtue!
Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #19 on: October 31, 2011, 09:21:07 PM »
Tommy Loy the cabin boy
That dirty little nipper
Filled his ass with broken glass and circumcised the skipper.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
              -Emo Philips

Offline Backspace

  • Reader
  • ******
  • Posts: 1276
  • Darwins +53/-0
  • Gender: Male
  • IXNAY
Re: Lets have fun
« Reply #20 on: October 31, 2011, 09:23:53 PM »
Ping, you have a real knack for rhyme.  Here's one I think I found from a thread on this site, but I don't remember from who...

God, many believe, is immutable,
And their faith is, indeed, irrefutable:
When He does what He should,
It's because "He is good,"
When he doesn't, "His ways are inscrutable."

Edit: one more...

From out of the crypt of St. Giles
Came a scream that resounded for miles
The Vicar said "Gracious
It's Brother Ignaceous
He's forgotten the Bishop has piles"
« Last Edit: October 31, 2011, 09:31:11 PM by Backspace »
There is no opinion so absurd that a preacher could not express it.
-- Bernie Katz