So, I posted a picture on a website that was anti-mormon, so to speak. It wasn't blatantly rude or disrespectful (I had a lot of nasty ones to choose from and didn't) but it mildly mocked the fact that you have to pay tithing in order to get to heaven.
I told my mom, who looks at all my stuff, "Don't look at that part of the site. It's controversial." So she didn't.
Her stupid friend did. She's more like my aunt, been a close family friend for years (the kind you can't get rid of) and she's the type who loves to bully those who don't agree with Mormonism. She's very agressive about her knowledge of the "truth" and it tempts me so much to battle it out with her, but I don't.
I began avoiding religious topics with my family a long time ago because it only ended badly (of course)
I'm posting this because I need to sort it out with someone else. I am deeply hurt by some of the accusations my dad made, that were nastier than anything he's ever said to me.
So, my mom brings it up to me, tries to argue that the church doesn't actually make you pay tithing and stuff. She loses the argument pitifully and accepts defeat by letting it go.
Then of course, my dad wants to talk to me. I told him I didn't want to talk about it because we're both passionate about our stands and it won't be pretty.
He keeps talking anyway and I think, "Maybe this time it will go well." I'm kind of an idiot sometimes.
So, long story short, we get into general "is there a god" stuff and he starts telling me that he knows ghosts are real because he's seen them. He knows god is real because he's had these feelings and he's been given revelations and god has given him the gifts of foresight, etc.
Now, you have to understand when talking to my dad, it's not as easy as that sounds.
My dad is a very educated, intelligent man. He sounds like a nutjob, but he's actually pretty logical (except when it comes to religion) and his knowledge vastly outweighs mine. Not only that but his insistence that they really happened, and his serious tone equals my own intensity when speaking of important matters.
What would you have said when someone who you respect for their intelligence says they believe in that stuff?
This is what I said:
I told him all the regular stuff about how your mind can play tricks on you, especially when you're looking for something specific, especially when you get yourself worked up (I've experienced some "revelations" myself that were pretty damn amazing).
I also said that since I'm a skeptic I can't ever say whether or not his experience actually happened, but he has no way of proving if it came from the god he thinks it did.
I gave him the line about nature changing course verses men lying, the occam's razor bit. I told him that just because something appears supernatural we can't just fill in the blank with god. It's not a logically drawn conclusion.
I said a bunch of other stuff, of course, but it got heated when he ONCE AGAIN accused me of being an atheist because kids at church were mean to me and because I just wanted to get tattoos.
My dad should know me well enough by now, and should have even long before, to know that I act with integrity and that I make meaningful decisions based on my reasoning and my principles.
OFF TOPIC PITY PARTY: Then he told me that I drove my husband away, and I drive people away generally and he needs to tell me this because he thinks I'm going to destroy any future relationships I have.
Wow. Talk about poking, jabbing and pouring salt in an open wound. My husband just moved out a couple weeks ago because in his OWN WORDS, "I Just don't care anymore. I liked my freedom before."
Being a father was too hard for him.
I know my dad is mourning my marriage and lashing out, looking for any excuse for why it happened, no matter how ridiculous, but ouch.
At least my mom defended me. She has a little more first-hand experience with my husband. He got this idea because my husband told my dad "she never lets me talk." and that's literally all he knows about my entire relationship. My husband never WANTS to talk. We went to counselling and things were great and then he dropped the bomb that he was just tired of family life. SWELL.
My dad said a couple other things as well and as of right now I can't see our relationship ever repairing.