Author Topic: Beards  (Read 1075 times)

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Offline Historicity

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Beards
« on: October 19, 2011, 04:58:14 AM »
I have had a beard since the 1960s.

Slate -- Why Does God Love Beards?


Offline Nick

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Re: Beards
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2011, 06:28:24 AM »
I don't know why God likes them.  God the father is pictured with one.  Muslims require them of men (sorry ladies...you don't get to do that either), the Amish just had a skirmish over beards.  Some branches of Christianity don't want women to cut their hair.  It must just be another form of control and conformity.  Maybe I should grow a bread...then I will be enlightened. ;)
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Offline Timo

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Re: Beards
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2011, 07:43:14 AM »
I've rocked a beard since the late 90s, when I was first capable of rocking one, except for a brief period around 2006 or so when I just rocked a thick ass mustache.
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Offline Samuelxcs

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Re: Beards
« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2011, 07:51:24 AM »
I don't know why God apparently loves beards but alot of people do get beards. I had a goatee all my life (excluding when I was born). I did have one when I was very young though, which may be hard to believe. If I cut it of it would grow back thicker. I had it cut off a few times, didn't change anything, it still came back. It isn't so bad, at least it is clean. God might love beards because he came from one?
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Offline flapdoodle64

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Re: Beards
« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2011, 01:50:38 PM »
But beards became much less fashionable in the USA after about 1900 and moreso after WWI.

I think a lot of it initially was prejudice against immigrants and in particular Jewish immigrants. 

Then mass conscription for WWI.  The need for soliders to wear gas masks, plus the indoctrination value, caused the US military to start shearing new recruits for boot camp.  After WWI, the red scares and antisemitism kept beards outside the fashion mainstream. 

WWII and the McCarthy era reinforced US prejudice against beards.  1940-65 was a period of super ultra conformity for US men and hairstyles.   Beards were a sign of being a commie, a Jew, a gay, or any combination...

Only since about 1966 have beards slowly crept back in the mainstream in the USA. 

And if you look at the major ultra-religionists in the USA, like Pat Robertson, Mitt Romney, George W. Bush, Barack Obama, Rick Perry, most don't have beards. 

As a final note, I always think it's hilarious when someone sees a man with long hair and a beard and they say he looks like Jesus. 

Offline pingnak

Re: Beards
« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2011, 02:19:48 PM »
I grow a beard when I'm too lazy to shave for a little while.

I shave it off when it needs 'maintenance', in order not to look like a rat's nest.

My driver's license has the evil alternate universe me, with a beard.  Come to think of it, I should check the expiration date and grow another one the next time I have my picture taken.


Offline Onesimus

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Re: Beards
« Reply #6 on: October 20, 2011, 12:06:20 AM »
Mine is gone for the moment, and probably won't be returning while I'm pursuing my current career direction.  I think I grew it just to assure myself I could; now that I've done it, it's not a big deal.

Offline RaymondKHessel

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Re: Beards
« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2011, 12:20:28 AM »
My beard is both mighty and powerful.

I keep it short length-wise, and sometimes I cut it down to just the chin-strap and goatee; it's a little neater, but I like the full face thing as it requires less maintenance. Only thing that sucks is the occasional goober saying I look like Jesus.   

And I don't trust a man over the age of 25 without SOME kind of facial hair.  >:(

It's strange how the times change. I often think of Chuck Heston in Planet of the Apes when he says "Where I come from only kids wear beards".

Of course, he came from the 60's, when men wanted to distance themselves from hippie kids however possible.

But goddamit, it was good enough for Hemingway, it's good enough for me. I figure I'll let it get all poofy n' junk when I'm older. Don't see myself ever going back to being clean shaven though. Then I couldn't trust me, and that'd be no good.

It IS a shame to cover up a face this pretty, I admit... A damn shame. So it's good I'm not shallow or otherwise concerned with such things. The beard makes me look significantly more wolfish at any rate, and successfully adds at least a gallon of macho to my already dangerous levels of masculinity.

If John Wayne, Steve McQueen, and Brando all made a composite clone from their genes, I'd make it look like a flappy-handed sissy if it ever dared stand next to me, just by virtue of my natural manful essences.

Amplified by the beard.

That's the truf, Ruf. So respect the face fur.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2011, 12:37:41 AM by RaymondKHessel »
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Offline kin hell

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Re: Beards
« Reply #8 on: October 20, 2011, 01:31:37 AM »

If John Wayne, Steve McQueen, and Brando all made a composite clone from their genes, I'd make it look like a flappy-handed sissy if it ever dared stand next to me, just by virtue of my natural manful essences.



Marion Marlon McQueen  doesn't sound like much of a challenge.  ;)



The only reason I'd go the full beard is laziness and to quell the incessant irritation  of having to shave.
The only reason I shave regularly is how uncomfortable itchy (irritating) etc the growing in process gets.

I have worn a thin goatee for decades so as to have something to grab when my head is about to float away (hot air from the industrious waffle iron).
Fortunately this forum has has provided something of a release valve to alleviate that problem, so now the goatee is just habit.


It doesn't surprise me at all that a bronze age desert peoples had a preponderance of beards.
Can you imagine daily shaving with blades that dull in a water scarce landscape?
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Offline grant

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Re: Beards
« Reply #9 on: October 20, 2011, 04:53:06 AM »
There's a statistic in here somewhere....

Do lots of atheists have  / had beards or only the ones who reply to this post?

I had one for 15 odd years, cut it off because.... can't remember...
What if the hokey pokey is what its all about?

Offline plethora

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Re: Beards
« Reply #10 on: October 20, 2011, 05:19:09 AM »
I've had some form of visibly grown facial hair since I was about 25.

Right now, it's a chin curtain beard. Yup ... I'm rockin' a Lincoln \\m//(>.<)\\m// ... heavy metal style of course.
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Offline Nick

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Re: Beards
« Reply #11 on: October 20, 2011, 06:12:54 AM »
There must be a connection between aheists and beards.  So I conclude true atheists have beards.  Pure logic.  Oh, true atheists women like atheists men with beards.  Let it be written, let it be so.
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Offline Anfauglir

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Re: Beards
« Reply #12 on: October 20, 2011, 08:34:20 AM »
The only reason I'd go the full beard is laziness and to quell the incessant irritation  of having to shave.

And there, I think, is why "god" wants beards.....

The writers of the OT were (a) lazy, (b) fed-up being pestered to shave by wives who hated getting prickled, and (c) sad beyond measure that the invention of the safety razor was still some 3,000 years away and they had to keep making do with the Sharp Piece Of Rock and the Perpetually Lacerated Face......

.....and so.....

"Honey, go shave!"
"Oh, bad news dear - God just commanded me not to!"
Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.
Why is it so hard for believers to answer a direct question?

Offline plethora

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Re: Beards
« Reply #13 on: October 20, 2011, 08:48:12 AM »
God is always depicted with a massive beard.... and Jesus looked like a tree hugging hippie.
The truth doesn't give a shit about our feelings.

Offline RaymondKHessel

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Re: Beards
« Reply #14 on: October 20, 2011, 08:50:30 AM »

If John Wayne, Steve McQueen, and Brando all made a composite clone from their genes, I'd make it look like a flappy-handed sissy if it ever dared stand next to me, just by virtue of my natural manful essences.



Marion Marlon McQueen  doesn't sound like much of a challenge.  ;)

Okay, I admit it, I actually lol'd. Nicely done, sir.  ;D


edit: I'd have to assume beards were big back in the day... Hell, through most of history, just because of what a pain in the ass it was to get a good shave. No Gilette Mach 3s for Jesus...  Decent face razors weren't being made until around 1500 AD (DAMN you gotta love google!  :) ).

Though I know Roman nobility got shaved fairly regularly. They had this little gimmick that looked like a tiny bow that they used for taking off excess body hair, too.

Don't know how much of that technology or style made it's way to the sweatier parts of the middle east where our biblical buddies all hung out. It's entirely possible those folks just enjoyed being a bunch of hairy, smelly fucks. Au naturale, like the good lawd intended!

« Last Edit: October 20, 2011, 09:11:49 AM by RaymondKHessel »
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Offline Historicity

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Re: Beards
« Reply #15 on: October 20, 2011, 08:50:56 AM »
I think a lot of it initially was prejudice against immigrants and in particular Jewish immigrants. 

Not it was, the HUNKIES!  {Shudder}  If you read a history of the Johnstown Flood in 1889 it will should be illustrated with the elegant woodcuts that newspapers knocked out.  One is a picture with a caption of something like "A righteous vengeance" and shows a man with just a moustache on horseback shooting a pistol hitting a man that looks like a Hasidic Jew who has raised a dead woman's arm with rings on her hand with his left while his right holds the knife to cut off her fingers to get the rings.  I think it was a Police Gazette illustration.

Hunky is still used sometimes for Hungarian.  The usage in the late 19th century was a slam on all East Europeans.

It stems from an incident at the Flood.  A man had a psychotic break and rode around saying the Hunkies were cutting off the fingers of the dead to do that.  There were no such incidents and the man  a few days later became convinced that he must've gone crazy when the rest of his family had been killed. 

In the aftermath the few East European families in town got very hungry because they were scared to go out to get food.

The East European Jews were initially despised as more Hunkies.

Note that Hunkies were white men and should be noble and courageous and fair and good and thrifty, clean, reverent (and all of the Boy Scout virtues).  Instead they were thieving, lying, dirty low lifes for whom no atrocity would be too low.  Among the white majority the word lost almost all of its pejorative force and mostly meant an immigrant from Hungary.  I think it is reasonable to speculate that the 20th century African American usage "Honky" (thieving, lying, atrocity committing white man) is a corruption of "Hunky".



Offline Historicity

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Re: Beards
« Reply #16 on: October 20, 2011, 08:53:03 AM »
God is always depicted with a massive beard.... and Jesus looked like a tree hugging hippie.

Not always.  One of the first representations of Jesus is in the Roman catacombs and he was as clean shaven as any respectable civilized (=Roman) man.

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Re: Beards
« Reply #17 on: October 20, 2011, 10:17:11 AM »
Beards, pshaw!

True manliness comes from being able to wield Feather blades in a proper DE razor without cutting yourself to ribbons. ;) None of this plastic-fantastic, dozen-blades-in-one-cartridge, $10 a shave with a moisturizing strip for the ladies Gillette nonsense either. Proper shaving soap too, that you lather with a brush, no need for instant whip in a can.

Free yourselves from facial foliage!  :D
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Offline Graybeard

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Re: Beards
« Reply #18 on: October 20, 2011, 01:21:12 PM »
There are 19 mentions of 'beard' in the OT, and none in the NT - beards are so-o-o-o- first covenant!
Nobody says “There are many things that we thought were natural processes, but now know that a god did them.”

Offline Nick

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Re: Beards
« Reply #19 on: October 20, 2011, 05:16:34 PM »
God is always depicted with a massive beard.... and Jesus looked like a tree hugging hippie.
How can that be???  On FOX they say He is a capitalist republican.
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Offline Chronos

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Re: Beards
« Reply #20 on: October 20, 2011, 08:16:12 PM »
Mine is gone for the moment, and probably won't be returning while I'm pursuing my current career direction.  I think I grew it just to assure myself I could; now that I've done it, it's not a big deal.


I think you look better with it, and sometime you'll have to let me know why having one is a hindrance in your career.
John 14:2 :: In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

Offline Nick

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Re: Beards
« Reply #21 on: October 20, 2011, 08:26:48 PM »
I sense a WWGHA beard growing contest coming. :)
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

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Offline Chronos

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Re: Beards
« Reply #22 on: October 20, 2011, 08:26:54 PM »
When I was first employed by my current company, there was no specific prohibition of facial hair but when I started to grow a beard I received a visit from the department manager who made it a point to notice my beard but said nothing negative about it. He didn't need to. The visit was unusual, the point taken. I probably had it for another 6 weeks before I cut it off. I've had a beard on and off for the past 20 years

I've now had a beard for the past 4-5 years continuously and I can't imagine not having it. There have been a couple of times that I had to shave because of a trimming mistake, but I can quickly grow back a beard so hardly anyone noticed the brief moments when it was gone.

John 14:2 :: In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

Offline RaymondKHessel

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Re: Beards
« Reply #23 on: October 20, 2011, 09:25:02 PM »
There are 19 mentions of 'beard' in the OT, and none in the NT - beards are so-o-o-o- first covenant!

I don't know why I'm enjoying this thread so damn much... But I am.  ;D

I've now had a beard for the past 4-5 years continuously and I can't imagine not having it. There have been a couple of times that I had to shave because of a trimming mistake...

        Ahhh! I HATE that. Keeping the fur properly symmetrical is one of life's greater challenges. The sides of the mouth and the jaw line are the hardest, I find... <shakes head sadly>
       Once you let yourself get trapped in that downward spiral trying to balance out your original mistake, you could end up with nothing but a soul patch if you let it go too far! Then you've got "ghost beard" where your beard has created a tan-line that covers half your face and people start thinking you've got Jaundice or Vitiligo or something... Ladies run screaming, household pets won't come into the same room with you... theists make the sign of the cross and splash holy water at your disfigured form... Just a bad, bad scene.

      I've found the best thing to do is just bite the bullet and have your fur look a little goofy for a few days, rather than chasing that "balance it out" dragon. Don't let yourself get sucked into too much correcting. Unless it's something like a big patch missing, most people won't notice. And even if they do, what are they really going to say? "Derp, hey guy yer beard's off-balance!"? Pfft. If they did, I'd just be all like "Oh yeah? Well your FACE is off balance!" Yeeeeaah. THAT'D learn 'em! We'll see how full of sass they are when ya hit 'em with THAT one, eh?
« Last Edit: October 20, 2011, 09:37:06 PM by RaymondKHessel »
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Offline Mr. Blackwell

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Re: Beards
« Reply #24 on: October 20, 2011, 10:06:43 PM »
After I got out of high school I decided to let my hair and beard grow. By the following Halloween I was looking pretty narly. Some girlfriends of mine slapped a bed sheet around me and a Christmas wreath around my head and said I was Jesus. They took me out to several gas stations and convenience stores to watch people's reactions. I received many compliments for my costume.

Here is a picture of me on Christmas morning at my parents house later that same year.





This pic was taken in 1994. I have it posted on my facebook.[1] My sister made this comment underneath it.

Quote
LMAO!!!!!!!!! Haha. This was Christmas too. Remember, they made you play Jesus in the Christmas play at church because the other Jesus got sick...and you were bummed out!! HAHA.

The other "Jesus" didn't get sick. At that time I was only going to Church on "special" occasions. So, yes it was getting near Christmas and I went to church one week and they saw me. The little children were clinging to my legs so that I dragged them as I walked. The "elders" of the church asked me to play Jesus in the upcoming passion play because the guy that was currently selected to play him was unable to grow facial hair and had a close cut hair do.

Now, I can only let my beard grow for about 3 1/2 weeks before I have to shave it again for Guard duty. However, I took some leave time after I got back from Iraq and let it grow for a couple months then took this picture.



This was taken in 2010

Beards are fucking awesome!


 1. Don't try to find me...you can't
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Offline Nick

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Re: Beards
« Reply #25 on: October 20, 2011, 10:26:15 PM »
After I got out of high school I decided to let my hair and beard grow. By the following Halloween I was looking pretty narly. Some girlfriends of mine slapped a bed sheet around me and a Christmas wreath around my head and said I was Jesus. They took me out to several gas stations and convenience stores to watch people's reactions. I received many compliments for my costume.

Here is a picture of me on Christmas morning at my parents house later that same year.





This pic was taken in 1994. I have it posted on my facebook.[1] My sister made this comment underneath it.

Quote
LMAO!!!!!!!!! Haha. This was Christmas too. Remember, they made you play Jesus in the Christmas play at church because the other Jesus got sick...and you were bummed out!! HAHA.

The other "Jesus" didn't get sick. At that time I was only going to Church on "special" occasions. So, yes it was getting near Christmas and I went to church one week and they saw me. The little children were clinging to my legs so that I dragged them as I walked. The "elders" of the church asked me to play Jesus in the upcoming passion play because the guy that was currently selected to play him was unable to grow facial hair and had a close cut hair do.

Now, I can only let my beard grow for about 3 1/2 weeks before I have to shave it again for Guard duty. However, I took some leave time after I got back from Iraq and let it grow for a couple months then took this picture.



This was taken in 2010

Beards are fucking awesome!
 1. Don't try to find me...you can't
Cool, I think I saw you on a piece of toast. ;)
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

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Offline Onesimus

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Re: Beards
« Reply #26 on: October 20, 2011, 11:56:55 PM »
I think you look better with it, and sometime you'll have to let me know why having one is a hindrance in your career.

My brass embouchure seals much better.

Offline Mr. Blackwell

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Re: Beards
« Reply #27 on: October 21, 2011, 12:19:35 AM »
My brass embouchure seals much better.

Who do you play with?
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Offline Chronos

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Re: Beards
« Reply #28 on: October 21, 2011, 07:40:57 PM »
      I've found the best thing to do is just bite the bullet and have your fur look a little goofy for a few days, rather than chasing that "balance it out" dragon. Don't let yourself get sucked into too much correcting.

I cannot tolerate the asymmetry, and in my occupation I should always look symmetrical. Long story on that.

I don't have a tan line because I normally don't let my beard grow out that much. I normally trim to a 2 on my Norelco. If I let it grow much longer it doesn't look that good. The hairs in my beard are rather inconsistent because some grow stick-straight, some grow in weird directions and others curl. So, trimming to a 2 is the best of both worlds. If I make a mistake and trim to 1, I am almost showing bare skin.
John 14:2 :: In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.