Oh give me a break. It ain't John Coffey we're talking about here dude. It's a giant mutant spider crawling around above my head. f**k a karma cookie, it lost it's right to life when it invaded my home. Imma terminate that bitch with extreme prejudice.
Then I'm going to string it's corpse up to some popsicle sticks and display it prominently in my backyard as a warning to the other spiders.
Let 'em know in no uncertain terms that I am not the man with whom to f**k.
If it did invade your home, you don't have to kill it. (Btw what is a karma cookie?) I don't think the spiders care what you might do to them if they invaded your home, maybe they lived there longer. If you were a spider and someone like you wanted to kill you, what would you do?
I'm not having this conversation anymore. You're anthropomorphizing a damn spider. It doesn't have feelings. If I was a spider and someone wanted to kill me, what would I do? I'd die, and then get flushed down a toilet and forgotten about. BECAUSE I'M A STUPID SPIDER.
For Christ's sake, you want to go give all of nature's pests a big warm fuzzy hug? Befriend a cockroach? Pet a sewer rat maybe?
I can't believe I'm being asked to empathize with a damn spider. Are you shitting me? This from the guy who advised a 15 year old kid to exploit the shit out of his fellow humans because "none of them deserve to be alive anyway"???
Get your priorities straight Jimmy Jam, for the love of fuck.