In order to believe in God.

[SERPENT KILLA]

Not as bad as your life little girl.

[curiousgirl]

Not as bad as your life little girl.

LOL yeah, but at least I have a life outside of trolling, little boy. I'm sure your (non-existent) God would be very proud of your behavior right now. Hint: I was being sarcastic.

[Mr. Blackwell]

Dear John Serpent Killa 3:16

Please forgive me, I am not very smart. That is to say, I don't get the joke. Are you actually a Christian? I mean in real life, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?

[kin hell]

SK  up until this moment I have been polite, the only reason I remain so is the possibility that your account may have some limited blow-in using it.

Yeah right.

....you really do have the attention span, comprehension and credibility of a lobotomised nematode don't you.

All life forms have parasites, and I guess you are ours for this short embarrassing show of yours.

Try and disguise it all you like oh lightweight one, you got totally demolished here, and now, (having failed to do more than suck ...a trait common to many parasites)  you are running away in humiliation.

BTW if the hell is so kin to you why don't you stay there for eternity? Kinhell?

....fool you are too limited to even begin to understand me.

 kin hell doesn't stand for kin to hell, plus, (for the sake of the mouthbreather watching) kin hell doesn't reference a place that no-one but nasty little cretins believe in, it stands for .....fucking hell!

....and it is used frequently when protohuman items such as yourself show up like steenking(sic) shit stains to remind me that most of the monkeys I am forced to share this planet with are still busy sticking their heads up their arse because they are so scared of the real world out here.

Do your ears pop when you re-insert?

[Mr. Blackwell]

....and it is used frequently when protohuman items such as yourself show up like steenking(sic) shit stains to remind me that most of the monkeys I am forced to share this planet with are still busy sticking their heads up their arse because they are so scared of the real world out here.

Most of the monkeys, but not the Sea Monkeys 

[Astreja]

  If True Christians™ behave in this odd manner, is their purported afterlife equally odd?

[SERPENT KILLA]

Dear John Serpent Killa 3:16

Please forgive me, I am not very smart. That is to say, I don't get the joke. Are you actually a Christian? I mean in real life, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?

I forgive you, I know you are not very smart.
Why does it matter to you whether I am Christian or not
Why 'accepting Jesus Christ as your lord and savior' matters when you don't even believe in God.

You sure are expecting a lot of nice things from Christians but don't believe in God.
Like denying God and Hell but still want to go to heaven.

[Astreja]

Like denying God and Hell but still want to go to heaven.

Not Me, SK.  I don't want to go near the place.

[Mr. Blackwell]

I forgive you, I know you are not very smart.

Thank you

Why does it matter to you whether I am Christian or not

Because if you are then I find your behavior at odds with Christs' teachings.

Why 'accepting Jesus Christ as your lord and savior' matters when you don't even believe in God.

I never said that I don't believe in God. What makes you think I am an atheist?

Like denying God and Hell but still want to go to heaven.

You are making quite a few assumptions here.

[SERPENT KILLA]

I knew you would say that.

perhaps it's because you are predestined that way (away from the heaven)

I know you don't care either,  because....same reason as above.

[Mr. Blackwell]

I knew you would say that.

perhaps it's because you are predestined that way (away from the heaven)

I know you don't care either,  because....same reason as above.

????
who are you talking to?

[jaimehlers]

Where are the three Billy Goats Gruff when you need them?  They took care of that one troll under the bridge pretty handily, I imagine they can probably handle this one too.

Seriously, though, I wonder why this guy thinks that he's guaranteed salvation simply because he trolled an atheist forum?  I somehow can't see pretending to be someone else to be a Christ-like activity.

[C]

I forgive you, I know you are not very smart.

I forgive you, I know you are not very happy with your current life. May Allah and Hera forgive your sinful ways.

Why does it matter to you whether I am Christian or not

Because I want to see how low some humans can go while professing belief in the Christian God.

Why 'accepting Jesus Christ as your lord and savior' matters when you don't even believe in God.

Why does reviewing a Batman film matter if you don't even believe in Batman?

You sure are expecting a lot of nice things from Christians but don't believe in God.

I have come to expect absolutely nothing from Christians who put their religion before their humanity.

Like denying God and Hell but still want to go to heaven.

I'd prefer Purgatory, if that option is available at all, since

A) I don't have to pay an indulgence.
B) I supposedly get to meet a lot of awesome people like Saladin.
C) I get to keep my distance away from one of the most ridiculously stupid gods in the history of mythology ever.

I knew you would say that.

Man, too bad all the people who have solutions to every spiritual and pressing problems are staying at home on the Internet.

perhaps it's because you are predestined that way (away from the heaven)

Calvinism hardly endears us to Christianity seeing as how in this version God is shown to blatantly, knowingly create humans despite their ultimate doom in hell. No room for interpretation there!

[kin hell]

Do your ears pop when you re-insert?

.....how stupid of me, you're much too shallow to need to equalise.



So -ve Darwin me again you sad little cave craven diver, you endless looping tapeworm.

I guess while you are back there, spelunking in the earthly paradise you call your butt (as in butt of all jokes) , you are indeed the lunk-head of all you survey, accompanied by your temporary peers, (who disappointed by the company they are forced to keep are intent on just passing through). How traumatic to be stuck with the endless realisation, that every day you are you, and it wont get any better. Plus of course the relentless paradoxical requirement of having to remember not to shit yourself every minute of every day.   Good luck with that REPENT ASLLIKA


Of course disappearing up your own fundamental beliefs especially after a quick and demeaning thrashing at the atheist site, is quite normal theist behaviour.


In arse, no-one can see you squirm.

[EV]

John 3:16/Serpent Killa, I don't really care who you are, at least do me the decency of replying to my post if you aren't banned already.

[Gnu Ordure]

I hope the Mods don't ban John/SK straight away (partly because that's what he wants - why else create and then reveal the sock-puppetry?). But more because I'd like to hear his justification for behaving this way...


(Edit: ... or put him in the ER)

[kin hell]

I hope the Mods don't ban John/SK straight away (partly because that's what he wants - why else create and then reveal the sock-puppetry?). But more because I'd like to hear his justification for behaving this way...

............never underestimate a cornered rat mate.

.................and yes it will be just more entertaining spectator sport.

Amazing how many xians self-immolate on the heheheheheedless altar of their beliefs.
The religious mindset must have some hardwire connection to martyrdom.

Or perhaps it's mistaken as going out in a blaze of glory,    anyway the bbq's on, and I know I feel like kicking back with a cold beer while the steak marinades in its own predjuices.

[ungod]

I knew you would say that.

perhaps it's because you are predestined that way (away from the heaven)

"away from" implies a direction. How does that compute for a place (heaven) outside? of space/time? DUH!

[Historicity]

If True Christians™ behave in this odd manner, is their purported afterlife equally odd?

This reminds me of the story of Chief Hatuey who was executed in Cuba in 1512.  It was told by Bishop Bartolomé de las Casas in 1552.  As Hatuey was about to be burned at the stake (for the treason of resisting the King of Spain) he was asked to convert.

Hatuey, thinking a little, asked the religious man if Spaniards went to Heaven. The religious man answered yes... The chief then said without further thought that he did not want to go there but to Hell so as not to be where they were and where he would not see such cruel people. This is the name and honor that God and our faith have earned.

Hatuey^Wiki
Wikipedia -- A Short Account of the Destruction of the Indies
Gutenberg -- A Brief Account of the Destruction of the Indies      (free download of the book)

[RaymondKHessel]

Huh. I go to sleep, and when I get into work the next day, Serpent Killas not only a man, but has apparently experienced a psychotic breakdown.

Well. That's special! 

I'd like to think I'm partly responsible here. But regardless, dude was backed so far into the corner, there was really no getting out at that point.

Did NOT expect such a spectacular meltdown though. WOW. I think he/she/it/they got possessed by the debil there at the end. That was pretty cool!

I can say this safely: SK/John 3:16?

*DEFINITELY* thinks they're a Christian. Absolutely no question. If you go back and look over their posts, they get MUCH too emotionally wrapped up in their responses far too often to just be a troll. Even at the end there when John's declaring his troll-ism to cover his ass for all his handicapped posting getting torn limb from limb... You'd be hard-pressed to find a better example of a temper-tantrum.

And actually, I'm kind of thinking that maybe the SERPENT KILLA account was John's girlfriend/wife. I'm thinking maybe she signed up curious about the website her boyfriend was getting hammered on, but without any other real reason for being here she starts in with the amateur-hour god squawking, and eventually gets all upset when her oil mixes with our water and she exposes some of those deep-down uglies and gets called out for it.

So people like me started calling her CHILD KILLA, which I'm thinking might have bothered her and started her crying great tears of pork gravy and sent her running into the arms of John, subsequently bringing a panty-twisted John onto her account to try to defend the honor of his corpulant and seemingly slow-witted psycho lady friend.

The pieces fit! I'm telling you, I'm the reincarnation of Sherlock Holmes yo!

Because I mean, what's the point of creating a new account just to be a preachy, timid, half brain-damaged loony tune like SERPENT KILLA was? If that was really a troll, it was the like the most flacid troll in history; 50% preachy babbling, 30% staring at their own belly button, and only like 20% gristle to try and chew on.

What kind of troll posts for weeks without actively trying to agitate anybody? Roughly half the time, on both accounts you can tell they were really *trying* to communicate, and just lacked the articulation/intelligence/mental capacity to do so.

What kind of crack baby creates TWO accounts in order to spend WEEKS engaging people in intellectually bankrupt but apparently earnest discussion, only to spontaneously combust over the course of an hour on a Thursday night? THAT panicky and emotional meltdown was their big payoff after spending weeks of their time "setting us up", supposedly playing make-believe at our expense????? I'm supposed to believe that? That's the dumbest s**t I've ever heard lol.

That's like the episode of Southpark where the cop goes undercover to infiltrate a prostitution ring by dressing up as a whore and actually letting himself get fucked by all the Johns. Like, dude? You're NOT doing this right.

Lol... "I'm just having fun trolling you lulz!"  Riiiiight.

Nope. No trolling here. Don't buy it for a second. Just a case of one dim-witted and butthurt guy's emotional freak out.

But I will give credit where it's due, and say they lost it *spectacularly*. Like somebody flipped a lightswitch and suddenly we've got a handicapped orangatan on acid with Tourette's syndrome flinging their s**t at anything that moves.

It was a troll! You're all going to hell! Lake! Lake of fire! <snort> f**k you! Why u bad as person is!? No hevan u say? Big dumb you are! <snort> Fuckbutt! You're a fuckbutt! f**k! Jesus lives! U here why!? TELL! I lik a Jesus!? He reigns! But u know f**k! <flicks own ear> Fucktard! Having fun, this me is! Do this for fun! Hahahaha see!? FUN! Lake of fire! REEEEEAD!!!!! Reading stuff makes you a fucktarded fuckbutt! Yay Jesus! Jesus knows! I is funning f**k now! Have fun yay! Make a f**k! Hate you all! Should DIE and SUFFER HAHAHAHAHAHA f**k! You read!? Go f**k a ! Jesus f**k a fun fucktard! Yay!

Oh yeah man. Good times!

Best part of the whole thing though is the fact that all this came from an alleged "Christian"... That's what elevates this whole abortion from funny to PRICELESS. And now it's immortalized on the internet forever for the world to see. 

[12 Monkeys]

It sure was a lot of fun. (seriously)

I am smiling now so must have been lots of fun.

uh sorry monkey in Vancouver B.C.
have fun baking at safeway.

Canada Bread.....still bad but not as bad

[Hatter23]

Like denying God and Hell but still want to go to heaven.

Not Me, SK.  I don't want to go near the place.

Just because I'd like to go to OZ is not a justification for getting lost in hot air balloons hoping to find it.

[C]

The pieces fit! I'm telling you, I'm the reincarnation of Sherlock Holmes yo!

...Robert Downey Jr.? Is that you?!

And that cop is hilarious  , vomiting out of disgust after thinking he tried to set up a white Michael Jackson with cocaine in his closet and trying to find out why the left hand looked like the right.

[velkyn]

my, my SK, and John 3:16, being the same person.  What a lovely example of a Christian.  I'm sure that God, JEsus and other Christians must be ever so proud to be associated with such a person.   Gee, can you imagine what a person like this does for recruitment?   You can be a liar in so very many ways, spew bible verses, and judge that others will go to hell, and act like a very spoiled brat.  All such "Christian" qualities.   

it is rather hiliarious to watch Christains who do this flame out. 

[John 3 16]

What the heck!!!!!!!

I am NOT serpent killa.

[jtp56]

When the Christians were being persecuted during Roman times, Roman soldiers led 200 Christians out onto a frozen lake and made them strip naked (it was winter).  If they denounced Jesus, they could enter a shanty near the lake where there was a warm fire and clothes for them to put on before their release.  The Christians started chanting "200 believers........"  When one took up the Roman soldiers offer, the chant became "199 believers....."   Shortly after the apostate entered the shanty, the Roman soldier charged with guarding him exited the shanty, took off his clothes, and walked onto the ice changing the chant back to "200 believers...."

Why not emphasize the guy that left the ice to go into the shanty?  After all, he was the only one smart enough to get out of the cold.  He must have said to himself, "I never really bought that horseshit anyway. Look at all them fools out there freezing to death.  Bunch of idiots! LOL!" And once he gets back to the shanty, the guy that was supposed to guard him leaves?  Guess who the only survivor was going to be? 

BTW, do they ever say whether or not the Romans kill them all while God stood by watching and doing nothing?

Oh I forgot to mention; the guard witnessed the apostates death in the shanty, and since only Romans survived the ordeal it was explained away rationally.  Although they did have a hard time explaining the single Roman guards conversion.  You should see the movie: The Tip of the Spear about native Ecuadorians conversion, similar story.  Except they witnessed the death of a missionary.   

Yes it's true, God knew before He created the universe the 200 were gonna die.  Even the guy who wrote the New Testament said:  "I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far;" Philippians 1:23.  The 200 that died ended up "better by far".

You guys have zero understanding of death (death, Oh where is your sting?).  Which, I totally understand for you know Him not.

[jtp56]

Wow, not only did you completely forget to complete your thought here ("what difference does it make"), but you managed to offend anyone who suffers by trivializing all suffering systematically. 

What difference does suffering make to an atheist?  You'll all be dirt in 100 years if chance holds out for you?  If suffering means so much to you, why aren't you doing something about it? 

It's reality!!!  I'm not trivializing it.  Jesus said you will always have the poor with you when Judas was grousing about the really expensive perfume being wasted on Jesus feet, which, could have helped the poor.   It's reality...Oh I forgot, Christians don't know about reality.  In truth, the Bible is reality, atheism is incoherence.

[jtp56]

God isn't fair and He won't "bless" anyone!!!!  What difference does it make if you are born heir to the Heinz fortune or starving in Ethiopia?  The Bible talks about this!!!!  The guy who wrote 2/3 of the New Testament was beaten, shipwrecked, bitten by a poisonous snake, jailed, beaten again, scoffed at in such a way that makes the ridicule you put on us look like a girl scout Sunday school class heaping praise on each other...what difference does a persons lot in life make?

No one chooses autism.  No one chooses tay sachs disease.  No one chooses schizophrenia or Parkinson's or polio or a freak fall from a horse severing the spinal cord.  No one chooses to be born with nonverbal learning disorder or cerebral palsy.  No one chooses to loose a child.  No one chooses to be lonely.   What difference does a person's lot in life make?  Jesus H Bald-headed Christ, what an arrogant offensive death knell to all that is good in the world your christian religion is.

The Bible says there is no good in this world, that the god of this world is the devil.  Our world view is the world is fallen, there is no good, all men are sinners, even me, my pastor, my kids, my wife....We need a Savior.  With our world view, what difference does it make?

Your world view is that benevolence evolved.  Come on!

[Mr. Blackwell]

What the heck!!!!!!!

I am NOT serpent killa.

No one here has any idea who you are.

How was the mission trip?