Author Topic: Dogs DO NOT Go To Heaven  (Read 1261 times)

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Offline Brakeman

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Re: Dogs DO NOT Go To Heaven
« Reply #29 on: October 11, 2011, 05:14:19 PM »
We my little Boston Terrier has been a BAD DOG! He incredibly managed to knock a hole in our pantry door.  I have told him that he is going to hell for that and he looks worried.
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Offline RaymondKHessel

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Re: Dogs DO NOT Go To Heaven
« Reply #30 on: October 12, 2011, 01:23:45 PM »
^^^My husband is out of town this week--wanna come out of the closet? ;)

Only thing is, you'd have to walk the two dogs, deal with the mouthy teen daughter and help care for the elderly MIL-- in addition to your regular shoe classification duties. As I recall, the original agreement had you wearing a frilly French maid outfit. It is starting to look a bit shabby. And you need a back waxing.

The dogs I can handle.

The teen daughter... Is boarding school an option? Or one of those doggie electro-shock collars? I'm not really great with kids...

As for the elderly MIL... Is a nursing home an option? Or one of those Life-Alert collars? I'm not really great with geriatrics either...

Now that I think about it, I'm pretty much completely unqualified to be responsible for another person's well-being at all, aside from, I dunno, getting somebody a glass of water or making them a hot pocket or stopping them from putting weird foreign objects in their mouth, eye, or ear.

This simply demonstrates yet another way in which my meager and pathetic self pales in the brilliance of your magnificience my queen. I am but a flashlight pointed at the sun.

Since the reboot I haven't been able to get my little black puppy dog to show up. I downloaded that pic from cuteoverload.com and fed it and walked it and everything. Maybe it became a Christian or Zoroastrian doggie download and split for a more hospitable website. Oh, well. Easy come, easy go.  There's more and cuter pix where that came from. 8)

LMAO... Wait... So are you telling me that the cute ass little dog from your avatar is actually some generic K-Mart family photo dog that comes in wallets or something???  ;D Dude that is so fucked up. All this time I related that little guy to you thinking it was your beloved family pooch, and now I find out it's all a lie!?

My entire world has been flipped upside down. I don't even know who I am as a person anymore. I need to go lie down.
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Online nogodsforme

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Re: Dogs DO NOT Go To Heaven
« Reply #31 on: October 12, 2011, 02:12:47 PM »
Here's a cool rag fuh yo foe-hed, as my blackabilly relations would say. :)
Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.

Offline RaymondKHessel

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Re: Dogs DO NOT Go To Heaven
« Reply #32 on: October 12, 2011, 04:01:12 PM »
Here's a cool rag fuh yo foe-hed, as my blackabilly relations would say. :)

Lulz!!! My adoptive soul auntie says the same shite too. A cool washcloth, and aspirin. Aspirin can fix broken bones to hear her tell it.   

The proper dosage for a grown man is, of course, a fistfull. That's an actual unit of measurement.  ;D
« Last Edit: October 12, 2011, 04:07:34 PM by RaymondKHessel »
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Online nogodsforme

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Re: Dogs DO NOT Go To Heaven
« Reply #33 on: October 13, 2011, 02:56:05 PM »
Here's a cool rag fuh yo foe-hed, as my blackabilly relations would say. :)

Lulz!!! My adoptive soul auntie says the same shite too. A cool washcloth, and aspirin. Aspirin can fix broken bones to hear her tell it.   

The proper dosage for a grown man is, of course, a fistfull. That's an actual unit of measurement.  ;D
My daughter, from toddler age, learned to bring a cool washcloth and put it on my head if I was in bed sick.  :)
The all purpose treatment for everything in my family was VicksVapoRub, liberally smeared on the sick child until cured, or at least honey-baked.
Extraordinary claims of the bible don't even have ordinary evidence.

Kids aren't paying attention most of the time in science classes so it seems silly to get worked up over ID being taught in schools.

Offline IAmFirst

Re: Dogs DO NOT Go To Heaven
« Reply #34 on: October 13, 2011, 03:15:10 PM »
Well, this turned out to be a good discussion so far.

To all who read my counter-reply in the OP, yes, I do believe that's what yahweh would say if he existed and actually paid attention to prayers. And I really don't see the point of lying to a devastated child-- unless, of course, as someone mentioned, that this girl will grow up and question the existence. Maybe her lying mom did something good by setting her on the track to atheism.

One other point I wanted to bring up was it is another way to indoctrinate people falsely into a religion. If you're kidless, own 5 dogs and one just died, WELL... have we got a story for you, fellow brother! Your pet-- who god classifies as a beast and soulless-- will really meet you in the clouds! All is well! There's a donation box on your way out.  &)

This type of lie also depends upon how familiar with a bible the sufferer is. I know that I've read enough bible verses that end with "...and the smell was pleasing to the lord" to know that YOUR dog, your kid's cat, your neighbor's iguana is certainly not invited to the christian afterlife. And I feel that every Facebook dork who pledges to "pray for your fuzzy loved one" is absolutely beyond gullible.
« Last Edit: October 13, 2011, 03:16:54 PM by IAmFirst »
2nd of all, if all you believe in is peer-reviewed papers, you won't go very far in life...

-- Shin :D

Offline RaymondKHessel

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Re: Dogs DO NOT Go To Heaven
« Reply #35 on: October 13, 2011, 03:40:07 PM »
How do they reconcile this s**t? Nobody in this day and age, Christians included, wants to believe their beloved furry friend is a soulless meat puppet that will be utterly destroyed upon death, and yet isn't it clearly put forth in the bible that a soul is what seperates us from the animals? It's what makes us "better" than them and gives us the right to feed, f**k, or eat them as we see fit?

They were put here for us to dominate, afterall.

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Offline Brakeman

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Re: Dogs DO NOT Go To Heaven
« Reply #36 on: October 13, 2011, 04:52:37 PM »
Now there's an untapped market! ... Soul transplants for your beloved pets.  Atheists can sell their unused souls to Vets to implant into the animals so they can have a chance of heaven with their owners. Of course the souls will have to be thoroughly cleaned ..  ;D
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Offline Gnu Ordure

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Re: Dogs DO NOT Go To Heaven
« Reply #37 on: October 13, 2011, 05:01:02 PM »
Quote
.... gives us the right to feed, f**k, or eat them as we see fit?
Well, there are ethical considerations, Ray. It's not right to just shag them. You should at least take them out for a candlelit meal, show some interest, let them know that you really respect them as a person animal before you take her back to your place. Be sensitive though; taking your cute young heifer to an Angus Steak House on the first date is going to create a bad vibe.

Note, it's also disrespectful to kill them afterwards and eat them for breakfast. That's just plain bad manners.

Even if you know the relationship was going nowhere.
« Last Edit: October 13, 2011, 05:21:50 PM by Gnu Ordure »

Offline IAmFirst

Re: Dogs DO NOT Go To Heaven
« Reply #38 on: October 13, 2011, 08:17:33 PM »


Note, it's also disrespectful to kill them afterwards and eat them for breakfast. That's just plain bad manners.


And certainly don't kill them on the sabbath.
2nd of all, if all you believe in is peer-reviewed papers, you won't go very far in life...

-- Shin :D

Offline Finntroll

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Re: Dogs DO NOT Go To Heaven
« Reply #39 on: October 21, 2011, 10:09:52 AM »
I have never read the hindu "Mahabbarata", but years ago I saw the international TV-series based on it.
In the end the hero Arjuna is an old man and is wandering around with his trusty canine companion. Suddenly the Heavens are opened, and the Gods invite Arjuna in. But they tell him dogs are not allowed in Heaven! Arjuna refuses to leave his dog and does not enter Heaven. Cool.

(I hear that in the original text the dog is really the God of Justice and this was the final test for Arjuna, which I think spoils the story a bit.)

Offline Hatter23

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Re: Dogs DO NOT Go To Heaven
« Reply #40 on: October 21, 2011, 12:53:51 PM »

They don't preach non-virgin stonings at weddings because it would offend, yet that would be a logical time.


Ancient Israelites knew what was expected of them when they went entered into a marriage contract, what makes you think they didn't know the consequences of breaking the law ?

They don't preach against christmas trees at christmas because it would offend.

Some do some dont Oliver Cromwell had a very strong stand against pagan customs at Christmas time.

Christians don't only cherry pick WHAT they believe in the bible, they also cherry pick WHEN they believe it.

Thats a generalization of a millions of people, you are right to say some Christians do this, but not Christians in general. Sorry to be pedantic.

Actually what you are calling exceptions are by far the majority of the way people treat their religion every day. There are those that don't, that's true. However, I've yet to meet one.
An Omnipowerful God needed to sacrifice himself to himself (but only for a long weekend) in order to avert his own wrath against his own creations who he made in a manner knowing that they weren't going to live up to his standards.

And you should feel guilty for this. Give me money.