I don't know who the idiot waswho said you can't take the Bible literally. Do it at your own peril I guess.
I remember back in the late 60's or 70'a when scientists provedthat there was a cataclysmic event (some called it the Noahic Deluge) most probably caused by large asteroids hitting the earth resulting in major changes about 4,000 years ago. You guys probably go by Patrick Stewart narrating X men: "every millennium or so"...
Yawn, that was what you needed to believe then.
Thank God the Bible doesn't change.
<sniff> JINKIES but that was pretentious!
Holy crap dude you can wring out that post like a sweat rag!
Let's break it down and see what we got here... This is so pleasant.
I don't know who the idiot was who said you can't take the Bible literally. Do it at your own peril I guess.
First sentence, *SOMEBODY'S* gonna be an idiot! Ooooh you betchya! That's good stuff. I find it always bodes really well for me if I start off by telling everybody who doesn't agree with me that they're mentally deficient. I find it *really* makes them want to hear what I have to say, and not at all think that I'm a needlessly insulting d-bag with an inferiority complex!
Plus a veiled threat at the end! How grand! So we put the whole thing together, and we get
"I don't know who's a big stupid small-brained dummy dum dum that wouldn't believe that animals talk and that plants predate the SUN and that leprosy can be cured by rubbing bird's blood on yourself or that the invisible man in the sky wants to cut off the end of your cock... What a bunch of stoopid dumb-os to not believe that!!! hur hur hur!
But it's okay if you think I'm a blabbering baboon I don't care because you're going to be tortured in millions of wonderful ways when you die and I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT HAPPEN! Oohhh yeah... I'm thinking about it now... Ungh.... Ooooh, yeah... Yeah... Yeah... TORTURE that naughty little monkey oh Lawd <gurgle>
I remember back in the late 60's or 70'a
Oh, you mean when you took your avatar pic? It's very nice by the way. You're a very fetching man. Nothing presentable from the past 40 years though, huh? That makes you seem a little, I dunno, dishonest. You know, 'cos it's not really YOU anymore. It's who you USED to be. Are you uncomfortable with you you've become?
Ooh!Or were you, like, horribly maimed or mutilated in some kind of industrial accident and now you're, like, all made out of skin grafts n' metal plates and exposed springs n' stuff? That would be SO rad I wouldn't try to hide that at all man I'd be showing the whole world my rockin' mutant/cyborg visage. You could maybe use it to frighten evil-doers n' junk!
Do you still have the beard? 'Cos I'm looking at it and I'm thinking to myself, "You know, I bet *THAT* is where Jesus has been hiding all this time."
I'm sorry, I was distracted. Where were we? Ah yes.
when scientists proved that there was a cataclysmic event (some called it the Noahic Deluge) most probably caused by large asteroids hitting the earth resulting in major changes about 4,000 years ago.
It's cute when you guys give "those scientists" maximum credibility and infallibility when you think they support your beliefs, and yet you can be a prison guard with a G.E.D. and still dismiss the findings of THE ENTIRE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY simply because they conflict with those same beliefs. Screw their stupid degrees and hundreds of thousands of hours in the lab and in the field, right? I mean, you hose down felons for a living, surely you know more about biology, geology, physics, cosmology, and the like than any stupid old scients. You're armed with a BIBLE after all!
As amusing as that is, I should say it's also a bit insulting that you think simply saying "HERP-A-DERP WELL A SY-IN-TIST
*PROVED* IT GUYS LIKE A LONG TIME AGO"
I can see inside your head you know. You're trying to invoke some sort of dogmatic principle you think atheists have where we hear the words "scientist" and "proof" and go "Ohhhhhhh well if it was a SCIENTIST who PROVED it, heck, than I'll totally believe it!"
I dunno. Maybe you do this because you're enough a sucker that similar tactics have worked on you. Maybe when people say "The Bible Says...", you instantly prepare yourself for a hot dose of TRUF!!! So you assume everybody is as gullible.
Worthy of note, the manner in which you chose to express yourself demonstrates pretty clearly that you have a rather ugly disrespect for other people's intellectual prowess (it's painfully obvious you think nobody is as smart as you). You seem to also have a really nasty tendency to patronize people, too. Never a good tactic for making headway in a discussion. I'm not trying to be a dick, but we're only 100 words in, and look how unlikeable of a person you've already painted yourself as!
Why? And is this how Jesus says you're supposed to get new recruits? Because I think you need to work on your routine.
But back to your appeal to authority - It's just like your religion - you cherry pick the stuff you like and leave out the stuff you don't. You're building your very own little world of 'facts" in your head, composed of 60+ years of cobwebs infused by religious voodoo and bad pseudo-science, and it's cool that you can play around in that head space and feel good about your grasp on reality, but unfortunately nobody CAN or particularly WANTS to visit that world.
Mainly because it's utterly bogus.
Please provide some sort of evidence for what you just claimed. I'm not talking about some lone crackpot on a theology website who claims to be a geologist.
Find me a single solitary peer-reviewed paper that supports the idea of this "Noahic Flood" and I will consider what you are saying. Believe it or not, secular scientists are out there looking for the CORRECT answers, they're not out there trying to crap on your fables.
I say all this assuming you're trying to insinuate that this "Noahic Deluge" you heard about 40 or 50 years ago is the actual biblical flood as described in the Bible? Because of course, it's possible some geologist back in the 60's or 70's was looking for headlines and decided to throw the word "Noah" onto some NON WORLD ENDING ancient flood evidence they found somewhere in the world...
If they actually found evidence for a worldwide flood (which is a scientific impossiblity for countless reasons), everybody would know about it. They don't, because it never happened.
If it did, it would be taught in every history text book in the world. I mean you're talking about an Extinction Level Event within recorded human history dude. And again, assuming you're suggesting this "Noahic Flood" is the one from the bible, what, just nobody happened to notice they were being wiped out? Because you're claiming it happened at around the same time that the bronze age reached ancient China. Egypt and Nubia went to war. Abraham started Judiasm.
It's about the same time Stonehenge was built.
The world was chock full o' thriving cultures 4,000 years ago. It's strange none of them mentioned the fact that 5.5 miles of water was dropped on them, wiping out their entire civilization and killing everyone. Seems like the kind of thing that's important enough to write down, don't it?
The biblical flood. never. happened. And if you knew that this "Noahic Deluge" was just a headline-grabbing name for a regular ol' flood or Tsunami from 4,000 years ago, it's very disingenious of you to try to spin it like Scientists proved something from the bible by using words like "cataclysmic"(to who? None of the major existing cultures at the time were impacted in any meaningful way) that caused "massive changes" (again, where? What changes? And to whom? NOBODY in recorded history bothered to record it??? Then how cataclysmic could it be?)
What's weird though, is that you seem to have been purposely drawn attention to words like "cataclysmic" and "caused massive changes", while your holy book distinctly says "KILLED ALMOST EVERY LIVING THING ON THE PLANET". How do you connect the dots there? I don't get it.
Again. Bible Flood. Never happened.
Don't take my word for it. Call anybody in the geology department of any U.S. college and ask to speak with the professor. s**t, just take a geology class, man.
Don't get me wrong, it's really impressive that you're referencing the "findings" of (assumably) Christian scientists from 40 or 50 years ago - I can tell you're the kind of guy that really goes out of his way to stay current on the latest scientific discoveries and theories.
But still. Pick up a book once in a decade. You might learn something new and exciting. Or not. You've made it kind of obvious that you buy every stitch of goofiness in the bible hook, line, and sinker and anything that contradicts it is flat out wrong despite how big the mountain of evidence for it is... But ooh, the FEROCITY with which you defend it! My, it gives me the vapors, I do say. You mighty, snuggly Christian Lion, you.
Oh, I forgot to ask... if we WERE talking about the biblical flood... Why didn't the bible mention meteors exactly? That seems like it would be a very visually impressive part of the story and a shame to chop it out. Is it in the director's cut? And did these meteors bring the additional 5.5 miles and untold quadrillion gallons of water with them? Were they giant cosmic water balloons perhaps? Did more meteors come later to take all the extra water away? They must have, since we're not living as merfolk in 2011.
You guys probably go by Patrick Stewart narrating X men: "every millennium or so"...
I get the impression that this is supposed to be some kind of insult, but I have no idea what you're trying to say here. Either way, it always feels good to make mass assumptions about people and then proceed to devalue them based on those assumptions, don't it?
I LOVE doing that. Like the other day I saw a bunch of kids standing at the busstop near my house, and I had just the greatest time making fun of them for their height, their stupid clothes, and the fact that none of them had cars. It really made me feel great.
Makes it real easy to dismiss what people have to say if you can get yourself to believe that they're not worthy of listening to, ain't it? So you go, old boy. You demonize /dehumanize the hell out of those filthy atheists! You're really doin' the lawd's work now!
Yawn, that was what you needed to believe then.
Again, no idea what you're talking about. I needed to believe what when? Patrick Stewart? Back in the 60's/70's? I don't get it. Are you making more assumptions? Because I assure you, you have no idea what I believe or don't, what I did believe or didn't, or what I need. So kindly stop acting like you know me or what I think of Patrick Stewart. It makes my skin crawl.
Nicely done on the "Yawn", by the way. Real classy. Somehow I don't think you actually have the stones to yawn in somebody's face in real life though, do ya? Naaah of course not. You're an old ass man, after all... You're probably soft and fluffy and docile like a house cat. And of course your bones would turn to dust if somebody actually hauled off and slapped you for being rude lol.
But hey if you can hide behind your age, it sure is a great way to be snide without having to be clever! Am I right? Make you feel like the be-bearded stallion of yesteryear, does it, being able to show contempt through bodily functions?
But why yawn? Are we boring you, big boy? You know, you don't *HAVE* to be here. Really. You REALLY don't. I swear. As delightful as your company is, as pleasant your personality, and as profound as your nuggets of inspired wisdom, we'll survive in your abscence. Somehow. So, you know, why don't you go do something exciting like de-linting your shirts or maybe have a nice broccoli-smoothy?
Thank God the Bible doesn't change.
Yep. Otherwise you'd have to step out of the bronze age and accept the fact that bats aren't birds, rabbits don't chew cud, and having your preacher spit in your eyes won't heal your broken down body.
Sure is cozy in that familiar little box, ain't it? Boy, the universe sure is a big scawwy place. I know *I'D* be terrified if I actually had to process new information and work it into my worldview. I'm soooo glad I knew how the universe worked by the time I was 5, as told by 2,000 year old desert goat herders. Never needed to learn nufin' again!
Ignorance is SOOOOO freakin' sweet.