I'll never get to see him - at least, not untuil loooong past the end of mankind.
About 150,000 people die every day. Of those, two-thirds are not Christian, so that's a minimum of 100,000 straight off to hell. Of the 50,000 that are nominally Christian (which includes Mormons, Quakers, Baptists, Catholics, LDSs, JWs......) let's err on the side of caution and say that about ten percent have (a) adopted the right denomination, and (b) have been strict enough adherents to whatver the right faith is to get to heaven. So every day, that's 145,000 people going to hell - and just 5,000 going to heaven.
(Pause to consider just how loving and merciful Yahweh actually is).
145,000 people a day....and only 86,400 seconds in a day. So, very roughly, Satan will get to spend just over half a second greeting each new entrant to hell - and that's only if he spends every second of every day on the old "meet n greet" and zero time torturing or doing the admin or kicking back with a brew.
So, most likely, all I will get to say to Satan is "er...", before the conveyor belt whisks me past.
Feel sorry for the poor True Christian though. Despite all their belief, they only get 17 seconds with Yahweh to get welcomed in....perhaps twice that if god AND Jesus are on the doors. Imagine being devout all your life then god only having time to say hello and tell you where the toilets are.