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Author Topic: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?  (Read 3361 times)

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Offline rickymooston

What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« on: September 17, 2011, 02:04:56 PM »
This thread assumes that the Christian gospel is true. I understand some people don't have enough brains to understand conditional probability but there it is.

If you accuse me of using aa logical fallacy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loaded_question
You will be smited for stupidity.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conditional_probability
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proof_by_contradiction
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Null_hypothesis

« Last Edit: September 17, 2011, 02:09:22 PM by rickymooston »
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"i had learn to focus i what i could do rather what i couldn't do", Rick Hansen when asked about getting a disabling spinal cord injury at 15. He continues to raise money for spinal cord research and inspire peoople to "make a difference". He doesnt preach any religion.

Offline DVZ3

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Re: what will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2011, 02:09:32 PM »

Which one... there are so many that are man made. The one from South ParK!?  ;)
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Offline One Above All

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2011, 02:19:02 PM »
I will say "Have you tried iron chariots?"
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Offline curiousgirl

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #3 on: September 17, 2011, 03:26:33 PM »
I would say, "I want icewater."  ;)
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Offline jetson

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #4 on: September 17, 2011, 03:37:17 PM »
Please pass me another marshmallow.

And where is the buffet?

Pass the tanning butter.

Have you seen Hitler, I'd like to kick his ass.

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Offline Death over Life

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #5 on: September 17, 2011, 04:06:00 PM »
Please pass the barbecue sauce.

Oh, wait. I'll be asking God that when he says Depart from me ye cursed. This one is about Satan.

I would simply ask Satan if He has any spare Iron Chariots I could borrow, or maybe some water, and then we can chill in the hot tub.

I would also like to ask Satan where that World's Largest Giftshop is in Hell that these Sub-Genius people keep talking about. It would be a great way to take a break from burning and go shopping instead.
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Offline Nick

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #6 on: September 17, 2011, 04:34:04 PM »
Thank you sir, may I have another.

Can I get a room with a view.

Can you heal an amputee.
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Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

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Offline relativetruth

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #7 on: September 17, 2011, 04:39:08 PM »
Shit happens!!
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Offline pingnak

Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #8 on: September 17, 2011, 05:11:14 PM »
Assumes Satan would even have a moment to spare for you.

Around 200000 people die every day (6 billion people, live 30000 days each).  That's more than one person per second, given 86,400 seconds in a day.  About 33,333 of them will be secular/atheist/etc., and a further 66,666 will not be any kind of judeo-christian religion.  To think Satan will personally bother to talk to YOU is like being in a stadium full of people and thinking you should climb up on the stage.  If Satan ever bothered with noobs personally, he probably gave it up a long time ago as a waste of his time.

And seriously, the bible doesn't really cover much.  And most likely anything you ask about that big book of pulpy lies is probably going to be a tiresome, stupid question that merely provokes Satan into chucking you into a fiery pit of some sort.

In most of the stories with Satan, he's more like God's QA.  A dirty, thankless job someone's got to do.  Tempt Eve.  Test Job.  Tempt Jesus.  At the behest of his boss.
http://www.biblebb.com/files/tniv/SATAN.TXT

Doctrine is naturally more imaginative than the actual biblical text.
http://bible.org/seriespage/survey-bible-doctrine-angels-satan-demons

If we are going to talk about satan and hell, then it may as well be the South Park version.  It's as believable as any rendition. 
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/152270/abandon-all-hope

Or perhaps the Dante's Inferno version.  Off to the sixth circle.  Apparently there's a video game of the same name, so you can walk through and tour this version of 'hell'.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inferno_%28Dante%29#Sixth_Circle_.28Heresy.29
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Offline Samuelxcs

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #9 on: September 18, 2011, 06:13:31 AM »
Forget speaking to Satan even if he had a moment to listen to you, how about starting a rebellion against him instead? Hell would be the ultimate prison.
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Offline Nick

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #10 on: September 18, 2011, 08:20:18 AM »
Hey, that would make a great movie..."Escape from Hell"
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Offline Samuelxcs

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #11 on: September 18, 2011, 08:29:59 AM »
Someone should make that movie and get money from it, wish I new how to...maybe hire some people to dress up in costumes and make a weird movie of it. (Who would watch that?) :o
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Offline Nick

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #12 on: September 18, 2011, 09:32:27 AM »
It would scare the shit out of Christians. lol
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Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline rickymooston

Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #13 on: September 18, 2011, 10:41:13 AM »
Quote from: Nick on September 18, 2011, 08:20:18 AM
Hey, that would make a great movie..."Escape from Hell"

Oh, God, yes, make it animated!!!

Wilber was a loneyly unassuming sort of God. He lived a mundane boring life as a mortal, only to ensure 1000 years of torture until, he got the inspiration.

He found the key and a lazy demon guard.

Apparently, Luigi's heart wasn't into being a demon. He'd long dreamed of getting into the celestial core but his mark's were too low.
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Offline nogodsforme

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #14 on: September 18, 2011, 01:34:47 PM »
I see Satan as sort of a Godfather figure who would be willing to cut a deal. Like, I would be willing to take over running the torture chamber containing the Nazis and Latin American dictators in exchange for some asbestos sandals, some bottled water (which is already made in hell) and some SPF 50.
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Offline Emily

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #15 on: September 18, 2011, 01:37:00 PM »
What will I say to him: I'll say I'm sorry for spreading horrible lies about you when I was a Christian. Then I'd say, "I'm sorry you work for a douchebag."
« Last Edit: September 18, 2011, 01:44:44 PM by Emily »
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Offline stuffin

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #16 on: September 18, 2011, 07:49:49 PM »
Where did you get all those Christians?
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Offline 12 Monkeys

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #17 on: September 18, 2011, 08:54:28 PM »
 where is your sister I need a good F**K?
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Offline natlegend

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #18 on: September 19, 2011, 03:15:13 AM »
I'd be all like, "Oh wow, it's Satan, boy did I ever get that wrong. Crap! I'm on fire!"
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Offline plethora

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #19 on: September 19, 2011, 03:31:23 AM »
Quote from: Samuelxcs on September 18, 2011, 08:29:59 AM
Someone should make that movie and get money from it, wish I new how to...maybe hire some people to dress up in costumes and make a weird movie of it. (Who would watch that?) :o

I bet you it would get over a million hits on YT ... you'd get a partner account and get some money from each view ... best case scenario.
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Offline plethora

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #20 on: September 19, 2011, 03:32:40 AM »
Assuming I would instantly start burning and continue to burn forever... I would probably just beg for the pain to stop endlessly. That sucks.
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Offline Timo

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #21 on: September 19, 2011, 03:35:59 AM »
I would ask about the dental plan.  I'm not gnashing my teeth if it's no dental plan.
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pero ya tu sabes...

Offline rickymooston

Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #22 on: September 19, 2011, 06:31:12 AM »
Quote from: Samuelxcs on September 18, 2011, 08:29:59 AM
Someone should make that movie and get money from it, wish I new how to...maybe hire some people to dress up in costumes and make a weird movie of it. (Who would watch that?) :o

The special effects would be insanely expensive but if one looked at animation instead, it could be doable.
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Offline nogodsforme

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #23 on: September 19, 2011, 10:31:56 AM »
The OP sounds like the first line to a song. Alt country. Lyle Lovett.
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Offline Nam

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #24 on: September 19, 2011, 01:55:39 PM »
I'm still not convinced that Satan is the bad guy in the Bible.  I mean, how many people does he murder compared to the amount of people Biblegod murders?

How much death and destruction does Satan bring on in the Bible compared to the amount of death and destruction that Biblegod does?

How many people kill in the name of Satan compared to "in the name of [Bible]god"?

-Nam
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Offline Timo

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #25 on: September 19, 2011, 02:01:03 PM »
He's not even depicted as a bad guy in a lot of the Bible itself.  For example, in Job, he's clearly working on God's behalf when he kills Job's family.
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pero ya tu sabes...

Offline Nam

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #26 on: September 19, 2011, 02:06:53 PM »
^So true.

The Bible teaches, apparently, "What is bad is good, and what is good is bad."

Biblegod is bad therefore Biblegod is good.

Satan is good therefore Satan is bad.

-Nam
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Offline dloubet

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #27 on: September 20, 2011, 01:51:05 AM »
Ow. Ow. Ouch. Ow. Ow, Dammit. Ow. Ah. Ouch. Ah. Shit. Ow. Ow. Ow. Stop. Ow. Dammit. Ow. Ow. Ah. Ow. Fuck. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow...

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Denis Loubet

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Re: What will you say to Satan when you burn in hell?
« Reply #28 on: September 20, 2011, 03:33:50 AM »
Satan?
By the time any of us get there, James Dio and Wurzel will have taken over the place!
It'll be an eternal metal festival!!! \m/
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