Here's my shortened story.
I was born in Peoria Il. At 9 months I was given to my Grandmother to raise. Grandma, being a full blood Lakota, thought this would be best. The Native Americans would have the grandparents raise and teach the children. So, at 88 she took a baby with bronchitis to raise in North Dakota. She taught me to have an open mind on religion, “there are just some good people trying to get to the same place. If you and I are going to Chicago, we may take different roads, but we will both end up there”. At 10 years old, Grandma died. I was tossed back with Mom and Dad, and I was told I must go to church. The closest church was a baptist church, (Even nether one of my parents went. My mom was raised on what ever church was closest, and Dad was raised catholic, as my Grandfather was a carpenter for the church).
I was pretty much disturbed by what I was being told in the church, this is the only TRUE way, we are the only right church, nonsense like that. When I asked questions, I was told the old, “You can’t know the mind of god, or question the lord!” crap. When I was 18, I was drafted by the Army, sent to basic, sniper school, Ranger school, and sent to Vietnam. After 2 tours, I came home and went to college. I received my masters degree in Mechanical Engineering. I missed my graduation ceremonies in 1977 to go to a Queen concert in TX. At the concert, I saw the little badge the read, ”The Queen crew wants you”. I applied and got hired to move heavy things. During this time I got my license to drive big trucks and went to work for Ed Shirley Trucking, that moved Queen all over the world. I spent 4 years doing that and I have to say it was the best time of my life. I was treated with respect by all the members of the band, as well as my co-workers. We all knew we had a job to do, and that we all worked together to get it done. I loved those years. One night, after a concert, we had put away all the things that had to be stowed that night, and we were sitting around, I had my 12 string and another guy had his guitar. We sat singing, eating pizza, and smoking pot. Then, Freddie Mercury came out and sat, ate, sang and smoked with us. I got paid the highest complement I ever received, when he told me “You’re quite good, why are you moving heavy things for us?” I said “just to be near you Fred”. He laughed at that, and another guy said “He not kidding, he has a masters in engineering”. Freddie just kind of looked at me, but after that he always said “Hi Bill” to me. Seemed like there was a few people around that time that was worried for my soul. They used to stand out side saying repent or something like that.
After I left Queen, I went to work engineering robots, I decided to get back in to church. I met several ladies there, and dated around. But I was put off when I was told by the pastor that I should stop fooling around, and settle down. I thought who is this guy to tell me how to live? Later a deacon in the church was accused by a young girl that he felt her up on the bus. I asked the pastor what he was going to do about it, and he said, “Nothing, brother S…. is one of our major contributors”. A light went on. I stopped going to that church. They would come every Thursday night trying to get me to come back. One night I told the pastor that I might come back, but he was never going to get 10% of my money again. After that I never got “visited” again. Guess I was learning. I used to have fun with the JW's that used to come out and tell me things like," You can't think like that" and I'd act like I was thinking and tell them "Watch!" I used to talk to 2 Morman ladies that would visit, because I liked to look at their legs in the skirts, (Yeah pervert, so what?)
After my Mom and Dad had died, I sold my home and moved to Denver Co. I got a job working at Martin Marietta. I tried a few churches but I never could look at christians the same again. I fell in with some Wiccans and found that they were far less judgmental than christians ever were. I got married to a wonderful lady that is probably the least judgmental person I have ever met. We have been married for 18 years, and we are still going strong.
I don’t know for sure what I actually am, in the religion field. I call myself Wiccan, but I don’t follow any set procedure for any type of worship. I look at death from a somewhat different perspective.
I had to retire from work because of neuropathy. Since I do not have diabetes, I don’t fall into the normal category, and all that can be done is to throw pain meds at it. 2 years ago, I found out I had Wolff–Parkinson–White syndrome when my heart beat went up to 327 beats per minute, than quit. While on the road to the hospital, I “died” for 12 minutes so they say. I remember little of it, no white light, no Jesus welcoming me, just seeing parts of the universe I have always wanted to see. I do remember thinking that this wasn’t so bad. When I came back, the pain hit me more than anything. They did the little operation thingy, and it’s all OK now they tell me.
Through this I began to think about death, what is it? I have come to believe that something animates the body, some call it the soul, some the spark of life, you get the idea. Some type of energy make us move. Since energy can not be created or destroyed, (Physics 101), it merely changes form. I have come to believe that whatever you think is going to happen to you after you die, happens. If your big in the god thing, this happens, if your not, something else happens. I look forward to seeing the crab nebula, to look at our galaxy from outside it, and seeing how it was created.
I can’t quote scripture with all of you, I have read the bible back in the day, but I just don’t believe it. I try to deal from a logical standpoint, and there are a lot of you on here that make the bible/christian god thing a myth so much better than I can. I am just giving my opinion. That and a dollar will buy you a cup of coffee at McD’s. It pretty much worthless. I am just putting my story out there for your amusement, not to start a debate, or to try to convert anyone to the religion of Bill.
Since I have about 2 hours a day that I can actually walk. I spend some time on the computer, and seem to like this site so far.
[modbreak] increased returns at paragraphs to make it easier to read. ~Screwtape[/modbreak]