My dad had exactly one bedtime story. It was a moral story, really, about gambling and how you can never trust "a sure bet." So the story goes like this...
A fella went to a bar. After he sat down another guy came over and they started talking. Eventually the fella asked the newcomer if he'd like to have a friendly wager. He'd bet $10 that he could bite his own eye. The newcomer knew that is impossible and put $10 on the bar. The man took out his glass eye and gently bit down on it, scooped up the money and continued to drink.
A while later he asked the newcomer if he'd like to make another friendly wager. He'd bet $50 that he could bite his other eye. The newcomer knew that was impossible because the man wasn't blind, clearly he didn't have two glass eyes. He put $50 on the bar and the fella took out his false teeth and gently bit his other eye.
That was the end of our one and only bedtime story. As you can imagine, it didn't come up often.
Years and years later I was to find there is more to the story:
After losing $60 to this fella, the newcomer was in a foul mood, and understandably so. The fella asked him if he'd like to make one last wager. They'd been drinking for quite a while now and he had to use the bathroom. He'd bet $100 he could stand on one end of the bar and the force of his piss would be so great he wouldn't spill a drop on the bar, but instead fill a pitcher he'd place on the floor on the other side. The guy knew he'd been had twice, but no man could piss that far. The bartender, meanwhile, stood back to watch this. This fella was kind of an ass, after all, coming into his bar and making bets like that, creeping people out with his false teeth and popping his glass eye in and out of his head. He couldn't wait to see the newcomer clean this guy out and maybe he'd never come back.
So the fella stood at one end of the bar, unzipped his pants, and splash - pissed all over the bar. He mumbled to himself a little and handed over $100 to the newcomer, sat down and started to drink. Sharing a smirk with the bartender, the newcomer asked the fella why he'd made a bet like that. What made him think he could do something like that and why bet $100?!?
The fella replied, "Aw, that ain't nothing. See that guy sittin' in the back there grinning? I bet him $500 I could piss all over the bar and the bartender here would wipe it up with a smile on his face."
My dad had never told us this ending. I don't think he'd ever heard it himself because when I told him, he had one of those silent, everlasting laughs that turned his face as red as his hair.