Poll

What do you think about wife swapping?

Cool
4 (12.9%)
Disgusting
1 (3.2%)
immoral
0 (0%)
WTF
6 (19.4%)
a matter of freedom
20 (64.5%)

Total Members Voted: 31

Author Topic: Wife/girlfriends swapping  (Read 5929 times)

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Offline sambo

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Wife/girlfriends swapping
« on: June 30, 2011, 04:46:55 AM »
I had a one experience with it and it was very nice
One of my friends was travelling for 2 months, he offered my his wife (she is a very hot chick) I offered him my girlfriend in return
he spent only a weekend with my girlfriend, but I spent about a month with his wife

It was very nice time, like exploring new places in tourism
however I feel some guilt about it

What do you think about it? would you do it?
Does your god forbids it?
« Last Edit: June 30, 2011, 04:59:25 AM by sambo »
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Offline RNS

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2011, 04:56:10 AM »
if you're all comfortable with it, i guess it's all kosher. personally i would be worried about the effects on the respective relationships.
but again, it's just about being able to deal with it. if you can, then i guess it's just a bit of fun.
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Offline plethora

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #2 on: June 30, 2011, 05:41:18 AM »
Whatever 2 or more consenting adults agree to do is their business so I have no issue with it.

I voted "cool", 'cause I personally would be totally cool with it (though I have never experienced it). My wife on the other hand is not so inclined, so I as long as that's the case I won't be participating in any partner swapping.
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Offline Graybeard

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #3 on: June 30, 2011, 06:54:25 AM »
I offered him my girlfriend in return
So, you see your girlfriend as a piece of your property that you can do with as you will?
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Offline plethora

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2011, 07:17:58 AM »
^^ I'd like to see my wife try to offer me to one of her friends like that ... unless it's the hot one ... then ...

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Offline Nick

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2011, 07:41:08 AM »
Hey, whatever curls your tail. ;)
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

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Offline velkyn

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2011, 08:16:12 AM »
I offered him my girlfriend in return
So, you see your girlfriend as a piece of your property that you can do with as you will?

that is the problem with this story isn't it? 
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Offline frofrodajimmyboy

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #7 on: June 30, 2011, 08:56:07 AM »
There's nothing really "wrong" with it.  You'd be hardpressed to argue otherwise if all involved parties are ok with it.   Personally, I'm not comfortable with the idea of my wife being with another man or myself being with another woman, and I'm also fairly turned off by the thought of a woman that would readily throw herself at me because of a boyfriend/husband's request. 

Offline MadBunny

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #8 on: June 30, 2011, 01:42:51 PM »
.. he offered my his wife ... I offered him my girlfriend in return

I answered WTF.

I can't see it being anything other than a recipe for breakup and trainwreck.  Morally I have no real objection to it, beyond the way you phrased it, as if you're trading sentient cars for a weekend.   Its your life.
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Online jaimehlers

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #9 on: June 30, 2011, 02:53:13 PM »
You need a "Who cares?" option.

Offline One Above All

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #10 on: June 30, 2011, 03:04:29 PM »
You need a "Who cares?" option.

I think that "a matter of freedom" is the equivalent of that option.
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Offline Ambassador Pony

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #11 on: June 30, 2011, 03:09:03 PM »
Pics or it never happened.
You believe evolution and there is no evidence for that. Where is the fossil record of a half man half ape. I've only ever heard about it in reading.

Offline mram

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #12 on: June 30, 2011, 05:25:15 PM »
Pics or it never happened.
I wish I had taken pics of the bite marks my wife left on my arm when she learned I had been getting drunk in a strip bar once.
I actually lifted her of the ground while she held on with her pearly whites and tried to shake her lose.. it was like having a 4'7" pit bull clamped on.. She cured me.  &)

At the same time I HAD told her if she wanted to go to a strip club for women I wouldn't care, but deep down i know I was lying to cover my own ass and guilt.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2011, 05:27:05 PM by mram »
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Offline wright

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #13 on: June 30, 2011, 10:25:06 PM »
If all parties involved are adults and have informed consent in the matter, then it's up to them.

Having said that, it sure wouldn't be my cup of tea. Sex is great, but it doesn't last. Intimacy lasts, and (for me) having multiple romantic / sexual partners would detract from that.


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Offline Whateverman

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #14 on: June 30, 2011, 10:58:25 PM »
None of the answers matched my opinion, but 'WTF' came the closest.  I would never choose it. but I fall short of thinking it's generally bad/immoral.
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Offline Mr. Blackwell

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #15 on: June 30, 2011, 11:09:10 PM »
I have a friend who has been beating around that bush ever since I got married. It'll never happen. The only situation I can see that wouldn't cause trust issues for the people involved is where the couple married for reasons other than love. I was in a relationship with a bi-sexual woman. On one occasion she brought a girl home after work. We set the ground rules and followed them but that did not prevent other people from speculating and causing my girlfriend to become insecure and paranoid. The whole thing blew up in our faces and she eventually left me for another woman who didn't like to share. meh.
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Offline plethora

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #16 on: July 01, 2011, 03:36:13 AM »
The only situation I can see that wouldn't cause trust issues for the people involved is where the couple married for reasons other than love.

I disagree. There are plenty of documented cases of polyamoryWiki. They are not necessarily 'swapping' scenarios but in some cases there are shared partners all living under one roof.

Obviously there will be some arguments at some point but that happens in any relationship including monogamous ones ... but they can still have healthy, deeply loving, long-lasting relationships.

The main reason people like my wife and others here don't like the idea of swapping is because we were raised in a predominantly monogamous society where people are taught to expect their partners to be faithful for the duration of a relationship.

Sure, swapping may simply not appeal to some people, but the "trust issues" you mention are rooted in social constructs that actually go against our natural tendency to have multiple partners.
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Offline Timo

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #17 on: July 01, 2011, 02:08:57 PM »
Plethora, yes indeedy.  The point of a relationship, as I see it, isn't necessarily to be sexually exclusive with someone, it's to build a future with someone.  That might include sexual exclusivity but it doesn't have to.  I think as long as boundaries are set, all parties concerned are happy with the arrangement, and everyone remembers to be safe, it's all kosher.
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Offline screwtape

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #18 on: July 01, 2011, 02:24:39 PM »
I had a one experience with it and it was very nice
One of my friends was travelling for 2 months, he offered my his wife (she is a very hot chick) I offered him my girlfriend in return
he spent only a weekend with my girlfriend, but I spent about a month with his wife

How did the women feel about it?  Did they have a choice?  The way you say it, it does not sound like it.
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Offline Ivellios

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #19 on: July 01, 2011, 10:26:49 PM »
The way he words it, it does seem like he's refering to women as property.

"I decided to pitch the idea of a more 'open' relationship with my wife, but starting with someone I trust, to see if she was willing."

The whole 1 man & 1 woman only is part of a social construct. It is because that's what you were taught. If you were born in Macedonia before 4,000 BCE and worshiped Ishtar, you would look at sex differently. This is just one example of people being a 'product' of thier society.

Personally, I've always considered the expectation and the demand that one's partner to only be attracted to you and you to them forever to be naive.

Offline JeffPT

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #20 on: July 01, 2011, 11:05:01 PM »
The whole 1 man & 1 woman only is part of a social construct. It is because that's what you were taught. If you were born in Macedonia before 4,000 BCE and worshiped Ishtar, you would look at sex differently. This is just one example of people being a 'product' of thier society.

Agree.  I've never felt that humans (at least the male side) were meant to be monogamous.  Especially since, ever since I can remember liking girls, almost every woman I pass by goes through my "would I?" test.  The social construct keeps me in line, but the instincts are there.   

Before I was married, a good friend of mine said he wanted to "swap" for a night; my girlfriend for his wife.  I would have been up for it, but his wife was ugly and the girl I was dating was really hot (I married her a few years later).  It would have been a bad trade for me.  I doubt she would have gone for it anyway. 
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Offline Timo

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #21 on: July 01, 2011, 11:31:08 PM »
Especially since, ever since I can remember liking girls, almost every woman I pass by goes through my "would I?" test.  The social construct keeps me in line, but the instincts are there.

Indeed.  As a teenager my friends and I would ask each other two questions with regard to random women that we'd see passing by when we were out and about.  Would you hit?  The answer to this question was almost always yes and so the more important question became, would you sport? (As in be open about the fact that you'd hit.)  This would often devolve into loud discussions about the relative merits of our respective sexual encounters.  Immature I know.  But we were kids.  And yes, we were probably those same obnoxious kids that always reminded you why you hated riding the bus around 3.  Point being, if it were up to our dicks, I think we'd fuck damn near everything that moves.  I think we're wired that way.  Women too (but with some caveats).
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Offline bosey926

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #22 on: July 02, 2011, 12:45:46 AM »
^^^I think you pretty much hit this right on the nose Timo.  I have never had a 'long lasting'' relationship, but was raised in a montheistic society and home, with the standards of monogamy that accompany it. 
     To take this a step further anthropologically; I think the question is, can the person and their partner be one hundred percent honest, both physically and intellectually, to sustain and open and true relationship?  That is, not only with themselves, but with whomever they are exchanging sexual partners with.  If you are not open with your usual significant other, than the repercussions are likely to spill over in to the other two (or more) people's lives.  Possibly even ruining them all.  From both a romantic and social perspective.
     If you were to do this, I think you would have to factor in not only the fact that your significant other will be copulating with another person and it is likely contrary to the social mores that you all were raised on, but it will almost certainly be against the grain of the social majority's feelings on the matter.  If it were ever to become public knowledge, than the ramifications would be nearly, if not permanently irreparable. 
     Just my personal opinion on the matter.

Offline mram

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #23 on: July 02, 2011, 02:11:43 AM »
I don't know about the rest of you but wife swapping has that kind of "icky" feel kind of like taking a nice clean shower then sleeping in someone elses bed full of old nasty cum stains. Maybe taking the same shower then putting on someone elses old brown skid marked underwear..
Hey, great if that's what ya wanna do, but you know...count me out.  :P
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Offline sambo

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #24 on: July 02, 2011, 07:05:14 AM »
I offered him my girlfriend in return
So, you see your girlfriend as a piece of your property that you can do with as you will?
I just brought the idea, and she agreed
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Offline sambo

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #25 on: July 02, 2011, 07:14:48 AM »
I see that some of you are acting like theists!
Why do you care if your wife or girlfriend is having sex with another partner?

If it is outside religion, I think it is a matter of choice and agreements

I once ran into a very hot, tall Swedish girl, I couldn't resist her, she had a boyfriend so I momentarily asked her
"Why cannot you have two?"
She couldn't reply, the first date I did her 8 times in a row :P
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Offline pianodwarf

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #26 on: July 02, 2011, 07:20:06 AM »
I see that some of you are acting like theists!

Theism has nothing to do with this.

Quote
Why do you care if your wife or girlfriend is having sex with another partner?

As you say, this is a matter of personal preference.  For my own part, there are certain intimacies that I would not want my partner to share with anyone other than me.  Other people feel differently, and so long as it's all consenting adults in private, it's nobody else's business but their own.
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Offline sambo

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #27 on: July 02, 2011, 07:21:30 AM »
there are certain intimacies that I would not want my partner to share with anyone other than me. 
Why do you want to impose your "Religion" on your partner????
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Offline One Above All

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Re: Wife/girlfriends swapping
« Reply #28 on: July 02, 2011, 07:22:55 AM »
there are certain intimacies that I would not want my partner to share with anyone other than me. 
Why do you want to impose your "Religion" on your partner????

You need to understand the definition of religion. Otherwise, you're just trolling.
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

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