My wit said to me that all this GOD thing is shit. I never believed or expected myself to believe before...
But the issue is that now i am confronted with a possibility that it might not be imaginary. If you are thinking that this might eb the ramblings of an old man about to die, then I am 22 yrs old only.
There is always a possibility, but certainly I would say that the probability is very, very small. Have you ever heard of the Dawkins Scale? On a scale of 1 to 7, 1 is an absolute theist who "knows" that there is a God; 7 is an absolute atheist who "knows" that there is no God. Of course, the word "know" here really just means strongly believe. I find myself between a 6 and 7; I believe that there most probably is no God and live my life accordingly.
Let me ask you a question. Even if some transcendent being does exist somewhere beyond our comprehension and perception, why invest belief in a being who has nothing whatsoever to do with its creation? Everywhere you look in the universe, you see randomness with little pockets of order, very sloppy "design" such as the laryngeal nerve that takes a huge detour down below the lungs before finally making its way up to the larynx (very inefficient if it were done by an intelligent designer), and people getting sick, suffering, and dying. There certainly does not seem to be much "caring" for those people, nor for starving children and oppressed people throughout the world. If there is such a transcendent being somewhere, then it "blipped" the universe into existence and then abandoned it. To me, that is not worth the effort to "have faith" in.
I was once where you are now, so I understand completely what you're going through. I would suggest reading some Carl Sagan, Stephen Hawking and Richard Dawkins. On the philosophical side, I would suggest Christopher Hitchens. I think you will find that the circumstantial evidence that there is no God is by far much stronger than the philosophical "evidence" that theists propose and claim proves the existence of God.